Where we started...Part II

This is like a marathon, not a sprint. This installment of "where we started" is, I fear, much longer than the first. I think maybe I'll break it up so this isn't so dang long. My apologies :)


I enjoyed my holiday in Montana and was totally all about my family, but Cody wasn’t off my mind entirely. For starters, I received his response email to my facebook thank you while I was up there. Plus, my family, after learning of Cody’s gift, was asking a million questions about him, most of which I didn’t have the answers to. But I was able to use the gifted scarf in cold Montana and every time I did, I thought about Cody. Before leaving MT, my family did New Year’s predictions, a Bendheim family tradition. For years, at least 2 family members would predict that I would get married. Surprisingly, on this particular year, I don’t think any person predicted my marriage, but my sister Brooke did predict that I would either seriously date Cody or this other guy I was scheduled to be set up with. I thought “I’m so sure, Brooke.” Because although I was sure Cody and I would go out a couple times, “seriously date Cody” wasn’t something I thought would happen.

I left Montana and headed to Vegas with Ali and some other girlfriends. We met up with some “fresh meat” (aka new boys) from Utah who wanted to celebrate Vegas style with us. I had a blast that weekend, flirting with the boys there and deciphering which of them I liked the most. I had followed Cody’s request and asked Derek if he wanted to join us on the trip, but he politely declined. In hindsight, it was probably good Derek didn’t come, because then it would have been reported to Cody how flirty I had behaved in Vegas. And, with new, fresh, single, and attractive Mormon men in Vegas, Cody was a faint, distant thought.

After returning home from Vegas, I quickly forgot about my new Utah male friends. First and foremost, none asked for my phone number (only facebook friend requests), and secondly, I've done long distance before and know that I'd never do long distance relationships, or in this case crushes, again. Plus, I wasn’t sure I even really liked any of the Utah men, or if I just enjoyed some new male company with no strings attached, shameless flirting. It’s really hard to say. But with 2008 now gone and 2009 going strong, I knew that seeing Cody at church could mean a date invitation. And I was ready to say yes. After all, I had a "say yes to one date" policy, because I knew myself well enough to know that I didn’t always know “my type” or “the guy for me.”

After seeing Cody at church and FHE, I was a little puzzled since he hadn’t requested a date. But, he called me in the week and asked me out for January 10th. I was excited for the date because a date is a date people. And when you’re in your late 20’s and single in the Mormon scene, you count every good and bad date because some foolio will ask you when you visit your parents’ ward, “Have you been on any dates lately?” and a positive response alleviates an awkward moment and certainly any pathetic feelings. Plus, I like first dates…my policy is “it’s a good time or a good story.” And I’ve had plenty of good stories which have stemmed from awful dates.

Turns out the date for January 10th was a double date with Derek and a friend from the ward. I learned of the double aspect on the day of the date when Cody called to make final pick-up arrangements. I thought it was cute that Cody needed a “wing man” or wing couple as it was in this case.

Cody and the rest of the date goers came to pick me up last. Cody drove so we had the front seats, which made it seem like we were the official couple on the date and the others were just sidekicks. I remember liking the car Cody was driving which is so weird because I’m not a car person. Plus, how cliché is it for a girl to care about the car her date is driving. Shoot, I dated fools that don’t even own a car, let alone a good one. So needless to say, it was odd that I was noticing the car and even more odd that I concluded that Cody was driving Derek’s car because I, for some reason, pictured Cody driving a little Honda or Saturn, not something out of the ordinary like this SUV.

Anyway, we drove to Trabuco Canyon and went to a steakhouse, fit with a tree growing through the center of the restaurant and neck ties hanging everywhere. The food was good, but I had a splitting headache. Also, I found myself talking with April, Derek’s date, the most. After all, it was more convenient because she was seated across from me and I knew her the best out of anyone. But don’t get the wrong impression, Cody and I did converse, but all I really remember about the content of our conversations was that he asked me, “don’t you think people are more attractive tan?”

This was a major turn off for me, not to mention confusing. After all, I am a fair-skinned, butt-white woman. And I had embraced my glow-in-the-dark look and realized, that even when I do tan, it’s not impressive and is gone within a week. So his question made me wonder, "why is he asking me out if he wants a tan girl?," but I responded with sass and said I didn’t agree with his “tan is more attractive” stance. The rest of the dinner went smoothly and we later went to Will Smith’s movie, “Seven.” I cried in the movie which only exaggerated my headache, but I felt ok about crying because I warned everyone that I cry in movies. The drive home was easy conversation and Cody walked me to the door while the others waited in the car.

Now, it’s important to note that I never handle the “let me walk you to the door” situation well. I don’t want a first kiss on a first or second date, and I certainly never want to give an eager/aggressive dater the opportunity. So sometimes I come across as rushed to get in the door. I had the routine down to a science. I always pulled out my keys from my purse on the walk leading up to the door and would fiddle with them to give the “no kiss” signal once I had arrived at my door. I always tried to make as little eye contact as possible, while simultaneously saying all the right things, “thanks for the date,” “I had a great time”, etc. I was no different with Cody. I gave him a short hug and said good-bye, with little eye contact and little hesitation before entering my apartment.

My conclusion of the date was overall, neutral. I had a good time and enjoyed going out of Newport Beach for the date, but I also knew that a good amount of my time was spent with my friend April too and Cody did ask a silly question at dinner. I knew I needed more interaction to determine any level of attraction or chemistry.

Church on Sunday was fairly normal and Cody gave a talk. I remember feeling nervous for him and noticing how he breaths in heavily when he is nervous or publicly speaking. The talk was good though and afterward, in Relief Society, the girls kept coming up to me saying things like, “I like him Robin,” and “You should really date him.” It appeared as though the news of our date the night before had already spread, after all, Mormon women, including me, gossip like professionals. I laughed off the remarks…but liked everyone’s approval. Cody and I made short small talk that Sunday during linger-longer. We saw each other again at FHE. Come Wednesday, I was feeling crazy (correction, forward), and really wanted to see Madagascar 2 at the dollar theater. After a women’s institute class at church, I headed over to Cody’s apartment complex and made a call to invite him to see it with me. I was so very awkward in my invitation. It went something like this:

Robin: Hey Cody. It’s Robin.

Cody: Hey, what are you doing?

Robin: Oh, I just finished institute. What are you doing?

Cody: I’m just hanging out at my apartment with some friends who are down from LA. How was institute?

Robin: Oh, it was really good…(talk about lesson at institute)…well, I was going to ask you to go to Madagascar 2 with me tonight at the dollar theater, but it seems you have company.

Cody: Umm, what time does the movie start?

Robin: It starts in 10 minutes.

Cody: Wow. Well, where are you right now?

Robin: I’m actually in your apartment parking lot, but don’t worry, I was over in your neck of the woods anyway for institute, but you have company, and I’ll just see the movie by myself. It’s nothing big, just at the dollar theater. Have fun with your friends.

Cody: You are here? In my parking lot? How’d you get in?

Robin: I followed another car through the gate.

Cody: Oh. Ok then. I’ll go. I’ll be right down.

Robin: Cody, you really don’t have to. You have company. Spend time with your friends. Plus, I’ve seen movies by myself before.

Cody: Robin, I want to. Plus, these are really Jeff’s friends, not mine, and all we’re doing is watching TV. I’ll be right down.

I felt so stupid when I hung up the phone and just knew that my armpits were starting to sweat. I freshened up my look and blasted the a/c for a minute, and before I knew it, Cody was down and we raced to the movie. Some ward members were at the movie too, and I thought, “oh brother, more fuel for rumors.” The movie was funny and we had a great time. I drove him back home and we stayed in the car for an hour in his parking lot just talking about nothing really. I was thinking I could like him. I know I should have known that I liked him at this point, since I had just asked the fool out, but I didn’t. I knew I liked talking to him, seeing movies with him, and that we had the same sense of humor because we laughed in tandem at the movie. But there was a part of me holding myself back, confusing me, and making an admission of interest in dating Cody impossible.

The next day I received a call and invitation from Cody to go to the Jay Leno show with him for the following Friday. He had four tickets and would have Derek take a date too. I thought it was a great idea since I’d never been to Jay Leno on a date before. Most dates are dinners and the like, but Jay Leno is more exotic, more unique, and certainly more brag worthy. Our phone conversation lasted three hours that night and after feeling like I’d talked his ear off, I ended the conversation. I knew three hours meant something about how I felt about this Cody kid, because in all honesty, I’m a horrible phone talker. But what the “something” meant I wasn’t sure, and I wasn’t making any conclusions about my affection based on a stupid phone call, even if it did last 3 hours.