Where we started...

I've been reading a friend's blog lately where she recently documented how she and her husband began dating, in three blog installments. It was very entertaining and informative and I found myself annoyed with her when she took too much time to post the third installment. Just goes to show how demanding I can be as a blog stalker, and how much I love me a good love story.

I like the idea of doing the same, especially since I'm planning on making this blog into a journal/scrapbook. I think the posterity will enjoy the story of how we began. I'm going to try to get Cody to write his version, because, of course, they are very different. But I make no promises on his behalf. And hopefully, some of you will actually read this whole thing, but remember, I'm long-winded and detail oriented. Plus, I make no promises of being as entertaining as was my inspiration for this blog. Let's just try to give this a go, shall we?

Here is my version of the beginning.

I was horribly lost trying to find FHE. I forgot the number of my FHE dad, Derek’s apartment and finally needed to call someone who was already at the apartment for the number. I felt stupid going, but felt obligated to support my assigned FHE family, felt I had to put myself “out there” for some dating blessings, not to mention that I was Relief Society President and would have felt guilt had I purposely ditched a ward activity with no good excuse. So, when I finally found the apartment, I was partly relieved and partly hoping I would have never been able to find the apartment. It would have subsided my guilt, alleviated my stupid feeling, still given me points for “dating blessings” because after all, I had tried, and I would have had another opportunity in the future to support my FHE family. But given that I had found the apartment, I turned the knob without knocking (because I was late) and made a grand entrance because I walked in on the middle of the spiritual thought. The evening felt very normal and familiar thereafter. Just a typical FHE. After the thought and some dessert, Derek introduced me to his roommates and when I was introduced to Cody, I figured he must like me. He made eye contact with me and held his gaze longer than most men would on first meeting a new female. I thought he looked extremely tan, short, and semi-built in his good fitting, well-worn jeans and green T. I had an impression, but it was fleeting and as more time elapsed, I didn’t think anything of Cody or his possible attraction toward me. The evening continued as normal and I left FHE when I got tired.

I often saw Cody after that FHE. First off, I noticed him more because I had met him, but I also noticed him more because I thought he liked me. I would see him at church, some casual game nights, church activities, and of course, FHE. On one particular occasion, I was invited to a game night party I knew he would be attending. It was an inconvenient invitation, considering I had plans to attend the temple, then dine and see a movie with my friend. But, knowing that I wanted Cody to like me (and that I looked ridiculously cute in my temple attending outfit), I forced myself to “make an appearance” at the game night…to fuel Cody’s affection as well as any other cute boy who might attend the party. It was 20 minutes to the party from the temple, 10 minutes at the party, and 20 minutes to meet my friend at dinner. The whole party cameo cost a lot in time, convenience, and gas, but I really wanted to see Cody. Which, at this point, was interesting since I wasn’t convinced I was attracted to him. All I knew was I wanted him to be attracted to me and that if nothing else, I was keeping my options open and my ego stroked.

Then, at a Christmas inspired FHE, we went caroling at a senior citizen home. Oh, how I hate to go caroling. I always think the group of carolers I happen to sing with sound horrible (including myself). I also assume that the people who have to suffer through our songs don’t entirely enjoy the music. I just know that if someone was to knock on my door and break out in song, I would feel awkward for them and myself. This FHE was no different, and after a few songs sung by the group to one or two residence, I excused myself from the group mid-song. I just couldn’t stand the discomfort any longer. I found my brother Redge in the lobby. Apparently, our uncomfortable reaction to caroling is genetic and we both had some good laughs at how bad the group sounded in the other room and at how little the residence seemed to enjoy the music. But the evening wasn’t a total waste. After returning to the church for some cookies, Derek, Cody, and their other roommate Jeff invited me and two other girls to a late dinner at Chili’s. It was the first time I really conversed with Cody in a small setting. We all introduced our friends to each another, Larissa introducing me and Derek introducing Cody and so forth. I would fill in the blanks or correct Larissa’s errors as did Larissa for mine. I distinctly remember Cody trying to correct Derek when he described Cody as the most even tempered person he has ever met: never raising his voice, never feeling anger. I also remember Derek describing Cody as hard working and a brilliant business entrepreneur. And these descriptions interested me.

After dinner that evening, I received a friend request from Derek on facebook, who stated that he had enjoyed reading my wall and looking at my pictures with Cody. Derek said that they both concluded that I was hilarious.

On another occasion, I stayed too late at FHE. Three girls: Larissa, Angie, and I stayed after FHE had concluded and just talked with the boys: Derek, Jeff, and of course, Cody. After finally deciding it was entirely too late to be at someone’s home on a Monday night, I decided it was time for me to leave and retire to my bed. On my way home, I texted Cody to apologize for overstaying my welcome. He responded, quickly, something to the effect of, “I wish you would have stayed longer… I usually don’t go to bed until 2 am.” I found the text adorable.

On the last FHE before Christmas, we met at Old Navy as a group to buy presents for an adopted family. I arrived late, as usual, after doing some Christmas shopping of my own. After walking around Old Navy with a green and gray scarf on, I discarded it at the register, with hesitation, knowing that my money was disappearing and the last thing I needed was another thing for me. I complained to the group that I always go Christmas shopping with the intention of buying presents for family, and only end up finding (and buying) items for myself. After my diatribe, the group checked out and walked to the parking lot to get in our cars and head over to a ward member’s house for goodies. In the parking lot, Derek told Cody to ride with me back to the house, in my car. Derek at this point was always telling me or Cody to “go sit next to” the other and other like schemes, so him suggesting Cody go with me without good explanation wasn’t odd or at all surprising. I always found Derek’s propositions very “Junior High-ish,” and sometimes purposely didn’t follow his suggestions because they were awkward or because I, at the time, did’t like being told where to sit or who to talk to, but I figured Derek was helping Cody get close to me so I didn't protest the taxi service scheme. Cody too obliged Derek’s suggestion and we had a pleasant, short ride to the ward member’s house. The conversation mostly surrounded my shopping ventures of the day. Upon arriving at the house, I showed him my finds and received his opinions which extended the ride by a minute or two. The rest of the evening was mingled with other FHE goers and I hardly saw Cody after that.

Christmas was approaching quickly. I went to some last minute Christmas parties before heading up to Montana for the holiday. I went to my friend Charity’s house for one of these parties. I remember dying my quickly fading brown to gray hair and straightening it, thinking that my look had drastically improved and that Cody hadn’t seen my hair straight before. But after talking to Derek at the party, I learned that Cody had already headed up to Utah for his Christmas break and then off to D.C. for a vacation with some friends. I thought, “oh well, too bad.” And looked for another boy to flirt with.

Then, the next day, I went to my parents for laundry and checked their mail. I noticed a package which said Cody’s name on it. I initially thought “why is someone mailing Cody a package and using my address.” Then after a crazy trail of thought, I opened the package to see the very same scarf I had wanted at Old Navy days earlier. Cody had thought to send it to me…had stated in his card that he was at Old Navy again doing another Sub for Santa family, was sure my holiday wouldn’t be complete without the scarf, and thought to buy it for me. He also stated in his card that he hoped to get to know me better in the new year.

I sent him a facebook, thank you email,

“Wow! I am super impressed by you. I went to get the mail late this afternoon and found your package. Like a true airhead I looked at the package and thought, 'why did someone mail cody something at my address.' Ha! In another second I realized that you were the sender and thought, 'oh great, did I leave something at fhe on monday?' You can tell I don't often find myself the recipient of unexpected gifts. Well, I was sick of the guessing game so I opened the package to find my scarf. I have been wearing it all night. I'll catch my reflection every now and then and smile as I think of your thoughtfulness and surprise package.

A very unexpected delight indeed. Thanks for making another Thursday be a very special one. I adore your gift and appreciate the type of person you must be to have thought to mail it to me (braving the post office during the holiday season takes some real balls - and remembering what a girl likes and making her happy by gifting it to her takes a big heart :).

Have a very merry christmas cody and enjoy your travels. Kiss the east coast for me. I miss it.

Robin

p.s. my friend proposed to you tonight behind your back. she, like most of us girls, is a sucker for a good 'ol fashion gentleman. she is quite the male critic so I believe a congratulations is in order. Your mama raised you right!”

I tried to be articulate and complimentary in my email, after all, it was an extremely nice gesture. I was flirty, but simple for me. He responded days later,

“Im glad that you liked the scarf, actually, i knew you would because you were fawning over it at fhe. I find it sad that you are not often the recipient of gifts, hope that changes for you this Christmas and beyond.

I will give your warmest regards to the East Coast, but if the weather there is anything like it is here in Utah right now, I'm not sure I will be in the best mood to be delivering warm regards. I'm dreaming of an Orange County Christmas this year.


Hope you have a great Christmas and New Year.

Cody

If you do anything fun with fellow members of the ward, send an invite to Derek because he is all alone there until January 3rd.”

And it was confirmed, Cody liked me. Because no man writes in a card, “I hope to get to know you better in the New Year,” and buys a scarf for a girl, without implying he likes said girl.

Now I just needed to confirm that I liked him…but before the New Year, I had a vacation to Montana with the family planned and a co-ed New Year’s Eve celebration in Las Vegas. And you never can be sure about anything when going to Vegas in a group of Mormon singles. I could have a boyfriend before the Vegas weekend even ended and before Cody returned to CA and had a chance to “get to know me better” (aka ask me out).

Mouse Update

So, I'm 21 weeks as of yesterday. I'm feeling much, much better and enjoying food more...although I did have some of my dinner last night resurface after looking at some old cut up bananas and not getting ahold of the ensuing gagging episode. Good news is I didn't pee my pants in the process. Also, I ate too much dinner and felt gross until 20 minutes after I vomited. I know that sounds a bit bulimic-ish, but oh well.

My belly is growing like a weed, which hopefully means the mouse is growing too. I'll catch glimpses of my body in the mirror and just shake my head in disbelief. It is really wierd to see my body change, which is odd because I knew very well my stomach would grow and have witnessed other's expanding bellies my whole life. But it is still so wierd to me.

I feel kicks all day long, but Cody hasn't felt any yet. Either my layer of fat around the uterus is interfering, or Cody's impatience is not giving the mouse enough time to give him a good kick.

Sleeping is still good, but not as good as it was before the mouse. I'm a tummy sleeper at heart and have always slept on and loved hard mattresses. Funny thing is when I was home last at my parents, sleeping on the bed I slept on for 20 years, my back hurt from the hard mattress and getting comfortable was difficult. Who knew I'd miss my blow-up bed here in AR?

The only other news is I've had to reduce the amount of time I take showers as well as the water temperature. I was having near fainting spells and was having low blood pressure. It was trippy. All of a sudden, mid washing, I'd feel faint, get nauseous, think I was about to have diarrhea, and the only thing that helped me feel better was opening the shower curtain while laying at the bottom of the tub. I'm happy to report no more spells, but my legs are a bit pricklier because shaving with goose-bump is pointless.

I'll post pictures of my belly soon. Until then, remember that our baby's first ultrasound showed an adorable mouse...and until I hold a baby in my arms, or know the gender, this growing belly has an adorable, and adnormally large, mouse inside.

Happy Heart

Happy Valentine's Day! Before I tell you all that I'm the luckiest wife, and that Cody is the best of husbands, let me share a few love quotes.

I just finished "Love the One You're With" by Emily Giffin. It's an entertaining and indulgent read, but the overall message of love is true. The main character runs into an old boyfriend and for a period of a year is torn between old, resurfaced feelings and her commitment and confusion about her current marriage. Just when you think the novel glorifies cheating behavior (as some of Emily's past novels), it surprises you with the most basic of love definitions: love as a choice, love as a commitment. Basic stuff that too many headed for divorce forget.

"...maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."

Luckily for me committed love involves surges of passion (insert your rolling eyes and vomit here), but as the author points out, love is so much more...and if given a choice, ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE again and again.



The second quote for the day is stolen from my friend, Frances' blog. It's true, and spiritually uplifting. And by President Monson no less.

"I consider charity-- or "the pure love of Christ"-- to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper. Tonight, however, I have in mind the kind of charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient towards their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.

I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.

There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere."



Lastly, I'd like to quote Mother Teresa,

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

And let me just say, Valentine's Day has become more than a day where I ponder the romantic tales found in movies...it has become more than pondering the loves in my life...my family, my talents and passions, my idealistic dreams. It has become a day where I recognize love in all it's forms and give gratitude for my blessings, none the least of which is my Cody, my Valentine times three years...three wonderful years.

The Announcement and The Holidays

our $6 tree (tree=donated, ornaments=$6 at Target)

Boy, am I behind! Here is our post about our holiday season and our pregnancy announcement.

Cody and I found out we were pregnant on the day we left for our anniversary trip to Branson. It made our whole anniversary weekend full of amazement and wonder for the future. Cody and I decided to wait to tell our families of the pregnancy until the holidays so that we could announce our little mouse in my trap in person. And we did it in person for selfish reasons: we wanted to see our families reaction and celebrate the news together, not individually one call at a time. So this meant we had to tell my family over Thanksgiving while we were in CA and Cody's family at Christmas in UT. Talk about a big secret to keep for my family!

We announced the pregnancy by handing out our Christmas cards early with a pregnancy announcement card also in the envelope. We weren't very inventive in our delivery method, but the card was super cute and goes along with my life theme, birds. Don't ever look online for ideas of how to share pregnancy news for Thanksgiving. Too many involved displaying a positive pregnancy test. Now many of you readers know that I am all too comfortable with germs. I'm a rare hands washer and a let-me-have-a-sip-of-that-drink kind of girl. But, I just thought it bad taste to share such joyous news with a urinated stick in the turkey or cornicopia centerpiece. Talk about losing your appetite, right?

Here is the announcement.



My family couldn't have reacted better. We went to a Wednesday lunch at Bennihana and right after the food was cooked, Cody passed out the cards. Margot, was the first to see the card, "Is this for real?". Brooke, the most boisterous , said, "I knew it! You LIAR!!!". My mom kept saying, "What is it? What is it?" while trying to open the card faster. After reading the card, she had tears in her eyes and came right over to give me a kiss. My dad told Cody, "Good job." It was so fun, really.

Pictures of lunch before the cards were passed out.



The rest of Thanksgiving was a blast as always, but I don't have many pictures on my camera. We went to a USC football game (in the pouring rain!), went to breakfast at Ruby's on Balboa Pier (pictures below), went Christmas shopping, had dinner with some friends, and upon my sister's insistence, we went to Babies R Us of course.





Christmas was three whole weeks later and we were dying to tell Cody's family. After arriving in Utah and spending the first night at a Orvin extended family Christmas party (hotels are fun), the entire family gathered at Mom and Dad's for a Sunday dinner and game night. Unfortunately, Cody's family was either really expecting an announcement or were just joking that we would be making one while in town, but they guessed we would do it THE EXACT WAY we were planning on doing it! So we had to improvise.

Cody decided to put our Christmas card on the fridge next to his siblings, with the announcement under it. It took awhile for anyone to notice, but finally his brother and sister came out to the living room where both Cody and I were playing a card game with his parents and other family members and said to his mom "did you see Cody's Christmas card?", and then handed her the card. She read it and with a tear in her eye jumped up to give us hugs. She then said these beautiful words ... "well, I thought you might have an announcement for us, but then when you guys got here and I saw Robin I thought there was no way because she looked like she had lost weight." Connie scored major Mother-in-law points! Actually, I had lost about 10 pounds due to morning (a.k.a. everytime) sickness.

Pretty drive to Logan:


Here are some pictures of game night, Connie's tree, Cody baking his famous rolls for Christmas, ice skating, and our Christmas break in UT.








I'm such a gamer (of the board and card variety - NOT the video type)! Watch out Rummikub, Monopoly deal is a new favorite!

Mommy Confessions

Last night, Cody discussed an episode of the Dr. Phil show with me entitled, "Mommy Confessions," that has made the news. On this particular episode, an Alaskan mother of 6 is the guest and a video of her disciplining her adopted son is shared. In the video she is seen screaming, giving the child a cold shower, and administering hot sauce as punishment for lying and causing problems at school.

Dr. Phil reprimands the mother's disciplining style and states that she must stop her methods immediately, that they are ineffective and unacceptable, and that he believes she is desperate.

The mother asks Dr. Phil (after being told her methods will never work), "So tell me what will...I will be happy to abandon all of [my disciplining tools]."

Since the show, this Alaskan mother has been charged with misdemeanor child abuse and her story is splattered all over the news. She is hated. She is seen as an "evil" monster. And now I guess discussions on Russian adoption by American families is being had.

And truthfully, I feel bad for this woman. Her child is a difficult child, and she has 6 in total. And although the show glossed over this point, the child's poor behavior is ever present, at home AND at school. The woman openly admits being frustrated and lost as to what to do and how to parent. She willingly puts herself up for critique by going on the show to begin with and while on the show, she gladly concedes her methods for ANY more effective and healthy suggestions.

I don't know why we feel compelled to kick people when they are down, but we do, especially in the media. And it frustrates me. Need I point out that this woman is SEEKING HELP which hardly makes her the worst mother I've ever met.

And as someone whose worked as a mandated reporter (and made reports), I must say that if I discussed the case with CPS in Orange County, the fact the woman was seeking help, willing to receive help, proactive, and humble would make her a breath of fresh air. I probably would have reported her and she might have had a case opened, but the case would only be in place as an aide to her as a parent, not as a punishment tool. My guess would be that parenting classes would be provided as well as follow-up.

I used to work at the Parental Stress Hotline in the greater Boston area for a year. It was volunteer work as part of my domestic violence class at BU. I learned a lot from working at the hotline. Mostly, I learned that parenting is challenging and that parents get desperate and frantic in their discipline techniques when they hit their limit. And that a parent who seeks help is a good parent. Sometimes education is necessary to make them a better parent. But at the end of the day, the difference between good and bad mother's is often determined by their openness to change and improve, to seek out help. And that's what we were there on the hotline to do.

I just get so frustrated with society when we easily critique - like we have all the answers and know all the circumstances. And as I said before, when we knock people when their down. It's like going into confession (or the Bishop's office) with a repentant heart, only to be berated and dismissed. It's shameful. I remind everyone that the episode/segment was entitled, "Mommy Confessions."

To be truthful, my brother Redge once received a cold shower for punishment after forcing Tanner (the youngest) to have a cold shower. I think my mom was trying to show Redge, like for like, the rudeness and discomfort of his behavior toward Tanner. Well, anyway, Redge and my mom have a great relationship and no one is damaged because of the incident.

On the flip side, I've heard of "naughty sauce" as a disciplinary tool and know people, close people, who use it as one of theirs. And although they have different methods (a drop of Tabasco as opposed to a gulp of hot, hot sauce), they swear by it's effectiveness. I doubt I'll ever use it, I like the good old fashion guilt, removal of privileges, and time-out methods, but I don't claim to know best and I certainly haven't seen any trauma or negative effects from this technique on the kids it's used on.

I actually think the most terrorizing aspect of the video shown on Dr. Phil, is the mother's anger, witnessed by her screaming and forceful movements. She doesn't have the tools to separate parenting discipline and being mad at her kid. One thing I learned from a child psychology class in grad school was that we need to discipline with love, with the child's safety, education of right and wrong, and good upbringing in mind, because parenting out of vengeance, retaliation, or anger clouds judgement and is highly less effective.

And I guess the best way to show concerned with the Alaskan mother if you wish, is to offer support. In no way, does demonizing the woman help her become the best parent her kids need. As a woman about to embark on motherhood, I hope to make all the best choices, have the courage to admit error, seek help where needed, and discipline with love. But most of all, where and when I fall short of these goals, as I'm sure I will, I hope that my confessions are received with a bit more compassion.

Oprah

I wrote a letter to Oprah! Can you believe it? I've wanted to write her after seeing an episode of "Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes," and I actually did.

I've always wanted to write "these" type of letters in my life, but I never follow through. For example, I so desperately wanted to write BU while going to school there because I was so sick of the yellow and white circus looking awnings on Warren Towers, a HUGE dormitory close to the middle of campus. It was ugly, fading only on certain panels, and made the university look like Barnum and Bailey's. But I never actually sat my butt down to write the letter. Good news is 2 years after graduating they changed the awnings to a sleek, medal awning.

I also wanted to write American Airlines a nasty letter after a bad flying experience where I was charged $50.00 unnecessarily to change flights when I DIDN'T NEED TO! The "help" line in the airport check-in terminal was completely unhelpful and the lady on the phone had an extremely thick accent and was impossible to understand. I would have received help from a ticket agent behind the counter instead of the lady on the help line listed on the kiosk, but there was no one behind the counter. No ticket agent for 20 minutes, when I had a flight! Finally, when an employee arrived at the check in desk, he apologized to me for being "late for work". Needless to say, I had everything lined up to write a great letter to get reimbursed for my flight, but once I arrived at my destination, I was a happy camper just to be on vacation and in Montana, that the letter was never written.

And so on, and so on, it goes...until now! I'm so proud of myself for finally writing a letter I said I would. I really am. Yay me!

And here is the letter to Oprah:

January 27, 2011

Dear Oprah,

I must admit that I haven’t been an avid viewer over your 25 years at the Oprah show, but given that I’m only 30, I’m sure you can give some allowances in that department. I have caught shows over the years, and most recently have enjoyed watching your new, Season 25: Oprah Behind The Scenes, on your new OWN network. I think it is fascinating to see all the work, communication, and talent that is required to execute each successful Oprah show.

My husband and I watched an episode weeks ago that really caught our interest, mine specifically. I vowed to write you after seeing the show…but being a slacker, I’m finally writing weeks after intending to.

The episode which caught our interest was the one that followed the production and taping of your “30-year-old virgin” show. Funny enough, I actually saw the Oprah “30-year-old virgin” show when it aired and was entertained and otherwise unaffected, but was floored when I watched the behind scenes on OWN. I couldn’t believe your producer, Lisa’s, as well as your executive producer’s perspective and how they viewed someone being 30 and yet still a virgin. Their opinion, as I witnessed, was that no 30 year-old is a virgin anymore, and that if they are, there is something wrong with the virgin that needs to be fixed, hence Dr. Laura Berman’s therapy. And unfortunately, social media supports their opinions as do movies like “40-year-old Virgin.”

I strongly disagree with your producers, being a virgin myself when I married at 29. My husband was 30 when we married and was a virgin as well. I have the privilege of having numerous, accomplished, intelligent, strong, and beautiful friends who are virgins and in their late 20’s and beyond – BY CHOICE. So chastity isn’t shocking to me, given my Mormon culture and faith. We believe in chastity before marriage and monogamy after. And the America I know still has virgins past college.

I wish we could have been in your studio audience the day you filmed that show. Because I think we would have given your opinion some support. You, doing what you are supposed to do as the vision and name behind the show, thought of your viewers and questioned, “What is so wrong with being 30 and a virgin?”. I loved the question you posed to your producers and hated their response, utter shock. I supported your distaste for the show’s title and the premise. Ultimately, I believe the tone of the show was tasteful because you were interviewing as opposed to your producers. What very well could have been a show about how no well-adjusted, functioning, emotionally & sexually well individual is a virgin at 30 became a show about 2 women incapable of being sexually intimate (symptom) although they wanted to be and receiving therapy for self-esteem, self-confidence, and family issues (problem).

What I most admire about you, Oprah, is that you challenge yourself to be open minded in every direction, which is very important for a journalist or interviewer. Too many are one sided and allow their personal beliefs to cloud their professionalism. Ultimately, this inability to see the world from a different view creates a tone of judgment to the viewer. I rarely feel judged when watching your shows, although I don’t always agree with your guests, and certainly not your producers. And although you might not agree with chastity before marriage or other beliefs I have, you certainly do right by acknowledging my point of view or choice as existing (first and foremost) and mattering.

I suppose I felt responsible to represent a voice which was void in your briefings about the 30 year-old virgin show and from the audience that was present for the taping that day. Know, Oprah, that virgins exist past 30 as you very well suspected, and not just in India and other countries. We exist sometimes because of psychological reasons, sure (like your guests). We exist sometimes because we haven’t found anyone willing to sleep with us, sure. But you’d be surprised that many of us exist because we’ve chosen this path. It’s a personal decision that we’ve made. And I wouldn’t have chosen any other path.

Sincerely,

Robin Orvin
(Raised in Orange County, CA - Cheerleader in High School – Graduate of Boston University (Psychology) – Former Service Coordinator for Regional Center of Orange County – Graduate of Chapman University (Masters of Psychology – Marriage and Family Therapy Program) – adoring wife – pregnant)

And Cody Orvin
(Raised in Arkansas – Graduate of BYU (International Relations) – Former Missionary and English teacher in Mexico - Entrepreneur of Elchamacho.com and California Yogurt Co. in Conway AR – Graduate of Monterrey Institute of International Studies (MBA) – hot husband)

randcorvin.blogspot.com

Love - Hate

Many, many of you readers, too many really, know how horrible I am with staying in touch. I definitely have a love-hate relationship with the phone and am truly old school in that I often don't have my cell phone with me. Even when it is in my purse, I often have it on vibrate so that I don't alert all of Target, or the restaurant, or the movie theater, or the church congregation that I'm indeed receiving a call. In many ways, I operate as though my cell phone is a land line. And truth be told, I was never that teenage girl twirling the cord around her finger while engaging in hour long conversations when I did have a land line. I'm just not much of a phone talker.


My mother is fairly new to the cell phone world and she, unlike me, has embraced it with open arms. So has my father. They text and will answer a call whenever, wherever. They even have their fancy iphones on their person while in the house (even though they have 2 land lines). I believe that they are so willing to answer the phone, even if they don't have the time to talk, even if they don't want to talk, and even if they shouldn't talk because they are in the company of others, because they didn't always have answering machines, caller id, and cell phone conveniences. Sometimes I believe it's because they don't know any better. But if I'm being really honest, it is nice to know that I can pretty much reach them whenever I need to.


So, I'm the one who is missing my dear friend's calls, my family's, and my husband's, because my phone is far from me. When I worked for my father, I'd have to drive to various counties all over southern ca and had to have my phone in the car. I found my driving time as a great opportunity to return calls. This year in Arkansas, with diminished reception (a huge contributor), I've worked in a yogurt store environment where I can't talk on the phone and often forget it at home. And, every now and then, I'll see a dear friends' number pop up on the phone and sadly realize that I don't have adequate time to give to the friend, and resolve to call them back when I can sit down and focus on the conversation.

But I'm a scatter brained woman, and too often, I can't seem to find that time I need to return calls or worse yet, I'll forget I have calls to return in the first place. It's frustrating for me, but more so for my friends and family. Even my lovely husband feels the shaft. No person is immune. And my true friends have had to grant me a heaping spoonful of patience.


Well, anyway, I'm reading a book where the main character's sister has my problem of being inaccessible. The author describes,


"Since college, our communication has been sporadic, depending on our schedules, and more important, depending on Suzanne's mood. Sometimes she simply goes underground, and no amount of pestering will make her reemerge before she is good and ready."



Love it or hate it about me, I'm an old school girl who does go underground at times, going full days without thinking to look at my phone. My husband is usually the one that will announce across the apartment, "you have 4 missed calls." To which I usually respond, "I do? Where the heck is my phone."

Shoot, my mother and sister have figured it's best to try and reach me on my husband's phone, since he is good at having his on him. I don't know why, but I still am surprised when Cody receives texts which mirror, "what is robin's wedding china pattern?" when I don't even get the texted question. My sister has learned to keep calling...calling...calling, and sure enough - her method of reaching me works. Because although I miss more than half her calls, I'm bound to catch some of the many.

And to better illustrate how separated I am from the whole cell phone revolution, I have a free, basic, standard, run of the mill cell phone with no fancy anything distinguishing it: no sleek appearance, no internet. Although I sometimes think I want a better phone, such luxuries would truly be wasted on me.

So in the tradition of new year's resolutions - this is mine for 2011:

"I will return calls from friends and family. I will have my cell phone charged and on my person (but still on vibrate I'm sorry) at some point everyday."

Come December 2011, I hope to be a new, and improved, cell phone communicator.

Now, send out some positive thoughts, prayers if you will, so that I can accomplish this goal!