Where we started...The End of the Beginning

To every good thing there must be an end, and we have come to the end of "Where we started."

Please do enjoy the conclusion. It is lengthy, to keep with the pattern I've started.

Cody and I had a great time in the next week following our first kiss. It consisted of going to FHE, kissing, going on a walk, then kissing some more, but come the weekend, I was going to Palm Springs for a girl's weekend and was feeling funny about Cody and the timing of everything…especially the kissing. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start with FHE.

I was late arriving to FHE (and yes there is a pattern of tardiness to FHE in these installments...) and when I entered, I quietly sat on the floor of the First Counselor's living room, a couple of people behind Cody. I located Cody when I first entered, and took every effort NOT to look at him during the lesson. I used my peripheral vision and noticed him notice me (internal smiles), but made sure not to make eye contact. I don't know why eye contact would have been so bad, I mean, I'd already kissed him and everything, but at any rate, I avoided it until after the lesson had finished.

The lesson did finish and Cody and I made eye contact. We started to make our way toward each other, but before we could connect, I got bombarded by some ward members for a conversation. Cody, seeing me busy, went to get some dessert in the kitchen and have conversations of his own. It took a while for us to connect, and when we did, we were your typical, trying-hard-not-to-be-awkward, we've-kissed-and-don't-know-what-to-do-now boy and girl. After some discussion about our day and other casual topics, seeing how late it was and not wanting to invite myself over to Cody's, I said that I was planning on leaving. Cody decided it was time to go too and rounded up his boy posse (because they had come together). Once we got outside, I was saying my good-byes when Cody asked if I wanted to go to dinner with them at Taco Rosa.

My memory is foggy, but I know I turned him down for dinner because I was tired, not hungry, and confused about whether I'd have to pay for my unnecessary meal considering it was a group type dinner (total cheap butt, right?). I also wanted to spend more time with Cody that night so I was torn in my decision. But, I called it a night and Cody said he'd call me after his dinner out.

Cody called and made plans to come over the following night, and when Cody arrived at my house, we decided to go on a walk. I remember being glad Cody was hanging on my turf...because I was feeling like he needed to spend more time at my place. I also remember getting a tad concerned that Cody hadn't made plans to go out with me again, because we had only gone on two official dates and now that we'd kissed, I feared we were headed toward a relationship of hanging-out then making-out. And I wasn't ok with that. I felt that we shouldn't be quite to that point yet. I still needed to be wined and dined. And on this night, we had no plans.

So after Cody arrived, I suggested a walk, but Cody didn't really feel like going on a walk, but with no other activity besides TV being readily available, it was the only "activity" I could think of...besides kissing of course. And I knew we'd be doing that later, so I insisted.

The walk was beautiful. The homes around my apartment were all lit up and we played the game of, "which house on this side would you buy." We talked about everything under the stars, and enjoyed the nice, night weather. Cody enjoyed the walk, once we were on it. And the walk ended up being at least an hour or two. I felt like I had been socially, mentally, physically, and emotionally stimulated by the walk. And a mature woman (I'm referencing myself in case you didn't know) needs to have a mature, stimulating relationship, not just giggles and TV watching and kissing.

Once we had arrived back at my apartment, Cody snooped around, while I enjoyed showing him the details he had missed with the brief date pick-ups from nights past. He helped himself to my generous candy stash, and we chatted some more. And after getting settled on the couch, Cody kissed me. And quickly thereafter, he admitted to pining for my "irresistible lips last night at FHE." And it was the perfect cue for more kissing. Because with a compliment such as that, I had to let him enjoy those lips he had pined over ;)

The rest of the evening turned into a quest for more compliments, because I'm a greedy and needy lady and after receiving the compliment on my lips, I wanted more. For those of you privy to my dating history, you know very well my obsession and need for verbal accolades. I love, love, love compliments. And I argue that it is a relationship need of mine. Months into our relationship, I complained to Cody that he didn't verbally show me how much he cared for me, which was a real concern of mine. For a man who was always taught, "actions speak louder than words," he thought that showing me he cared for me was better than telling me. But actions are not better than words in my book, they are just a different mode by which to express affection. And although I love thoughtful gestures and kind acts, and demand them from those I'm dating, I never devalue words in relation to them. Simply put, words and actions together speak at the perfect volume, not one louder than the other, and both should be present in a healthy relationship.

So, being greedy and needy, I asked Cody what facial and body feature of mine he found most attractive - excluding my lips of course (don't barf...we've all asked some variation of this question or wanted to at one point or another). After thinking for a minute, Cody responded. I would have guessed every feature before what Cody said - my ears. That's what Cody chose. Now before we continue, I want you to wait a minute. Process his response. Take it in as though you received that response yourself - ears.

Crazy, right?!

I remember responding, "Woo, woo, what?! I so didn't see that one coming. Ears are the oddest body part to find attractive." And I felt like it was a safe response, like one you could give an extremely homely, unfortunate, AND obese friend. Because even if you do find ears attractive in general(?!?), they certainly shouldn't make the top of any list, especially before the "B's" (you know: Butt, Belly, Boobs, Baby Blues (eyes) Back of the neck, Brown hair, etc.)! I continued my response, "Who finds ears attractive, anyway? I don't accept that answer. Give me a real answer. So, what after my ears and lips?"

And so on and so on it went. Poor Cody, I know. I pity the fools who have had to compliment me over and over and over, only to have to do it again and again. I'm sure it's exhausting. But although I offer them pity, I make no apologies. It's just the price a guy has to pay for dating me. And if that's too much, I gladly show them the door. Well, maybe not gladly, but I do show them the door (or they voluntarily exit through the door without my encouragement, but we'll pretend that that has never happened). And in my defense, my quest for compliments isn't always so elementary or physical in nature, as it was in my question this night. Let's just put that factoid down on the record.

After compliments, Tuesday night came to a nice close and I didn't see Cody again until Thursday night. We made a point to get together and see each other before I left for the weekend to Palm Springs. I went over to Cody's and we just watched some Thursday NBC TV (The Office, 30 Rock, etc.), kissed, and said good-bye for a long weekend, with no plans for the upcoming week.

My weekend away with the girls was awesome. Our hotel in Palm Springs was retro chic, and we had a double story suite. I had an amazing time doing girl stuff with my homies, who of course asked about Cody and me. I was frank, but probably embellished my stories of the dates, first kisses, and texts for entertainment value. Every girl liked the idea of Cody dating me and vice versa. But most of the weekend wasn't spent talking about, or even thinking about, Cody. We had games, pool side magazines, gossiping, and shopping to keep us busy. I also remember having a 3 hour conversation with M.E. Clayton about everything psychology and sociology. It was fabulous.

While in Palm Springs, Cody did call me twice, and text me once, but I didn't get the messages until the last night and I figured I'd call him when I got back into town. Most of you know I'm not a slave to my phone, and I usually do take time to return a call, but it was odd that I wasn't more eager to check my phone hoping or wishing Cody would communicate. And by the time we were headed back to the OC, I was in an introspective funk, growing worried about how much I really like this kid that kissed me much earlier than normal and comparing Cody to past boyfriends/relationships.

The timing of the kissing was uncomfortable and new to me, since I'm normally in a relationship with a guy before we kiss and know what that relationship entails. My apprehension about what a relationship with Cody would look like was getting the best of me, especially since I only had a week of casual hang-outs on which to base my assumptions.

So I tried to hold onto what I knew, namely that the kissing was great, that our relationship started with formal dates (albeit double), and we really could talk about anything and everything. But while my mind was trying to see the positives, it would counter that our first week "together," which consisted of zero planned dates with zero planned for the upcoming week, consisted of middle school type "hang-outs:" going over to your boyfriend's, watching TV, chillin' with his friends, and kissing. That's exactly what we did last Thursday, and it seemed so juvenile. And I wondered, were Cody and I ever going to go on a date just the two of us? A date where Cody asked me. A date that wasn't an FHE activity after thought with two roommates in tow?

And looking back, the problem wasn't the roommates. I loved those boys. Jeff even had a nickname for me (Jessica), and Derek is pretty impossible not to adore, but again, because they were often around, it made whatever Cody and I have look too "friends with benefits"-ish. My mind was going CRAZY with what Cody and I were and would be. And the only thing to stop my mind from making conclusions based on ONE WEEK of kissing and what-ifs, was calling Cody back.

So upon arriving back home, I called Cody. He answered the phone, but was really distracted. I could hear voices in the background, even female voices I suspected, and I instantly felt super foolish for calling. He was about to go out to dinner with the voices in the background he said, but before he did, he wanted to talk and ask me about my weekend. I started to talk about Palm Springs, but realized he wasn't really paying attention to me. I eventually just said that I'd let him go because he seemed preoccupied with company. He agreed and said he'd call later. The whole call was a complete disaster. And all I wanted to do was run away...from Cody.

I ended up going to the movies that night, and after the movie was over I had received a voicemail and text from Cody. He apologized for answering my call. He said he was so eager to talk to me that when he saw it was me calling, he answered, excited to hear my voice. But, he admitted that he shouldn't have because everyone was trying to figure out where to go for dinner and wanted his input. The message was sincere, and the explanation sound, but I felt so bothered by the earlier call that I refused to call him back. I wanted him to worry about my feelings being upset. Sounds cruel for me to want him to sweat over a stupid phone call, but it was after midnight and I really didn't want to have another awkward call before bed. I also think I was trying to regain some level of confidence and boundaries with Cody. Plus, I knew I'd see him at church soon enough, and I wanted some time to chill until then.

Sunday came and Cody sat next to me in sacrament meeting. And once I saw Cody again, all my introspective problems about us were out the window. Truth be told, I knew Cody was a gentleman and would never see me as a friend with benefits. He sent me the scarf, remember? And he took me to a Jay Leno Show tapping. And he called last night to explain that he answered his phone, even though he shouldn't have, all because he was eager and anxious to talk to me. Church calmed me down and seeing Cody again calmed me down.

Later that night, I went to dinner at Cody's per his invitation. It was a surprisingly good dinner and I was so impressed by the cooking skills of Cody and his roomies. I later explained to Cody 1/8th of the concerns I had had on the ride home from Palm Springs, namely the timing of the kissing and my apprehension for us, but I quickly went on to other topics and excused any concerns I had had to crazy woman/former MFT student mumbo jumbo. Because all was better now. And although I don't think every concern I had was just mumbo jumbo, I certainly didn't need Cody knowing about the scary Introspective World of Robin yet.

And from this night forth our dating relationship was perfect. Cody is a master wooer and when he said he thought actions speak louder than words, he meant it. Because he was always doing wonderful things for me. He definitely knows how to wine and dine a lady, or a girl like me.

And to demonstrate how off base I was for worrying about Cody and what dating him would look like, two weeks after Palm Springs was Valentine's Day. Cody surprised me at work by having 18 long stem roses delivered. An amazing note on the flowers read, "this past month of dating you has been the best month of my life," along with other nice words. And when I called him to thank him for the flowers, he told me of his plans to take me to LA on Valentine's day to see Phantom of the Opera at the Pantageous Theater and then to an Indian restaurant which got great reviews. And to think that just a short time earlier I was worried about Cody becoming casual and not planning dates.

January 24th was our first kiss and October 24th we married. We had our first date on Cody's Dad's birthday and got married on his Mom's birthday. 2009 was a GREAT, great year and a dream in the life of Cody and Robin Orvin. And 2010 produced continued bliss. 2011 will bring baby Orvin #1, a cute little mouse, and the future is nothing but cherries on top!