Thanks to modern technology, I have the choice of finding out the sex of my baby before it's born or when it's born. And when asked, people are so opinionated on what route is best. And when I say people are so opinionated, I really mean that people are so, so, so, SO opinionated.
Some people really hold true to the age old tradition of waiting until the baby is born to know the gender. And I'm all for that decision. First and foremost, because it is theirs to make. And because it is fun to announce after delivery (I assume from what the movies have illustrated)..."It's a girl (or It's a boy)."
But it's true that you announce the gender whether it's before the birth or after...and people are still excited to know either way.
Some people argue that not finding out the gender is really "the only surprise left in life." And yet, in the last book I read, this is what the author has to say about that arguement,
"...although I have no real opinion on what seems to be a highly charged, value-laden decision, how do so many couples figure that not availing oneself of ultrasound technology qualifies as a surprise? Furthermore, what other surprises have gone by the wayside over the last few decades? People don't throw surprise parties anymore? No more unexpected flower deliveries or gifts? I don't get it."
Plus, my friend Ali likes to joke, "What do people think it's going to be? A monkey? Now that would be a surprise. But a boy or a girl hardly is surprising. It really only goes one of two ways."
So, as you can see, the best argument for not finding out the gender of your child until birth is that you, as the parents, want it to happen that way. And you don't need an explanation for your decision, because its nobody elses but your own to make. And whatever reason helped you decide to choose this route, doesn't need to be sound. It can make no sense to anyone but you, and that's ok.
Cody and I have decided to find out the gender of our child prior to birth, but we had our doctor seal the gender ultrasound picture in an envelope at our appointment on 2/1/11. It's really cute because the doctor wrote on the outside, "What am I?". And we still haven't opened the envelope.
But people are going NUTS!!! It drives my sister crazy that I have the knowledge always available to me in my apartment, and I still haven't opened the envelope. People at church, some of whom I'm sure don't really feel invested in our baby, are dying to know. My aunt want to know so she can start buying me stuff. Customers at our store have even gotten wide eyed when they hear about our "will-power."
But it's not "will-power" or "stubbornness" or even a need to be "unique" that has us waiting. And when people ask why I'm not opening the envelope, I give a variety of answers:
"Are you kidding me? I'm a shopper. We'd be broke by the time the baby arrived if I already knew the gender. We're saving money by not finding out just yet."
That's a response some people like. But it's not really true.
"The pregnancy has seemed like eternities already. If we had found out the gender over a month ago, I'd have the names and nursery and everything in place already, and then the second half of this pregnancy would seem even longer than the first."
This response is semi-true.
"We didn't want to find out our baby's gender in a doctor's office room with goop all over my belly. Finding out the gender at a nice dinner, or in the comfort of our home after a wonderful day, seems so much more intimate and special."
This response seems sound, but isn't. Why? Because I'm going to give birth in a hospital, not in the intimate setting of my home or while doing something nice like a special dinner out on the town. And meeting your first born for the first time is much more special than just finding out their gender. So if I'm going the sterile, doctor birth plan, why not go for the sterile, doctor gender discovery scenario? See? This response doesn't hold much water.
And many other responses have been given that just don't seem to capture why we're not opening the envelope. "We're just not ready yet" is the most honest response. But people really don't like that one.
I've had people suggest that we should just let them have the envelope and then, when we want to know the information contained therein, they would be happy to share the news. This suggestion is most entertaining and has been offered by numerous people believe it or not...but clearly, that isn't going to happen.
And the excitment and curiousity surrounding the unknown is very fun for us, but it hasn't made us ready still. Boy or Girl? We don't know. But we are excited to find out when we feel good and right about the timing and ready. Truth is, I'll be excited for either outcome, because babies are all precious and cuddly and yummy, whether they have male parts or female parts. I used to think that girl babies were the best way...because the clothing is darling and girls are so precious. But then I had nephews. And I threw my prefrences for my future family out the window. Because having a baby boy as precious as them will melt my heart.
Until that envelope is opened, and without a doubt, it will be opened before this baby makes his/her debut, we're enjoying the unknown and the "what-ifs." The time will come when I'll get a nesting itch, and feel as though I need to know the contents of that envelope. I'll want to be semi prepared for what is to come in late June. But until I get that itch, Cody and I continue to appreciate and bond with this active, growing baby - boy or girl.
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