My world - Upside down

Cody and I have been living out of boxes and in filth for at least a month. We purchased a condo and closed escrow on May 2nd, and have been painting, cleaning, digging, weeding, shopping, moving, and hanging - all tasks I hate (well I do like, ok fine - love shopping...but these Lowes and Home Depot purchases aren't the kind of shopping I like). I think I've blogged about being a lazy lady in my heart and in practice...and no worries folks, I'm still that lazy girl. But since this condo will be my home for the next 3 to 5 years, I've been much more involved and active in the home improvement tasks than I or my doctor would like. I've been on an unknown labor deadline and things need to get done before my world is turned upside down. I certainly will need a nice home to adjust motherhood. Luckily, we have made some real progress thanks to lots of help.

Well, I'm 38 weeks as of yesterday. All along I was just trying to hold baby in until 25 weeks, because if Michelle Duggar can have a kid survive at that gestational age, so could I. And then I was trying to get the baby to 3 pounds. And then my goal was to make it to the mark when my niece Caroline was born. And now I'm just shocked that I'm 38 weeks. I guess I'm a "plan for the worst case and hope for the best" kind of girl...so I was planning on an early delivery all along.

My doctor says I'm boring though. He says everything looks good every appointment, but I can't help but have anxiety about what is to come. I know women give birth all over the world in crazy numbers daily. I also know that every human on this earth had to have been birthed at some point or another - and some to wimpier women than me. BUT - this primary fact barely eases my anxiety. Because lets face it people, pain is looming and possible complications can still be forthcoming. And why shouldn't they be looming for me when they happen to so many good people everyday.

Once I have this baby in my arms - I'm sure I'll worry about SIDS and other non-norm situations. And although I worry for these occurrences, I know, I know, that worrying doesn't help anything. Robin - the care free, who cares girl - still exists, until her mind wonders to labor and motherhood. And I hope that I laugh about my worries in time to come. But until then...I just trust that if something goes terribly wrong and there are complications, that A. I've planned for them and B. it's what is meant to be.

OK now...I feel a bit less anxious than I did before I wrote this post. I'll be sure to update this blog soon with condo "before" and "after" photos as well as this stinkin' cute nursery. Life has been crazy, its crazy that there is a baby ready to pop out of me, and it's even crazier that Cody and I are around the corner from real, legit parenthood.

Cody, btw, is as calm as humanly possible. He's such a rock star! Here are some more photos of yours truly. Lookin' large and well, large. The feet are now sausages. And I can only wear rubber flip flops. Strangers think they are my best friend too. My doctor says its because a pregnant woman embodies "hope." I think it's because people like the basketball look I've got goin' on. It makes them feel petite and small. Who knows. But lets just say that I can't run an errand without numerous people touching and conversing with me about everything baby. Good thing I don't have tactile issues.

36.5 Weeks


37.5 Weeks


38 Weeks


And the sausages...notice the indention caused by my rubber flip flops!