2010 was the year of fat.
I, Robin Orvin, probably gained over 25 pounds and had a body make-over of sorts. You could say that it was getting married (and out of the pace and pressure of singledom).
Or maybe it was moving to Arkansas (and doing less exercising due to a hot and humid summer).
And you'd probably all agree that opening a yogurt store contributed (candy, sugar, and more candy).
I'm sure there were many factors related to my expanding body, but I handled it well and owned it. I've always had self-esteem completely unrelated to my size and reflection in the mirror. I consider myself blessed in this way, as I know so many who have good days or bad days based on their reflection or the number being shown on their scale. Just one of the reasons I don't weigh myself regularly.
Well, I'm pregnant now. I'm supposed to have an expanding body, it's expected. And all I did the first trimester is lose weight. Thanks to my little mouse inside of me (trust me, the baby is a mouse according to the first ultrasound), I'm fitting back into my pants that have been shelved for at least 9 months. And I do like being able to wear my clothes, but this is only one of two benefits of pregnancy sickness I can think of. The other one is knowing my body is busy at work producing hormones to help the fetus grow (I guess).
I'm in my second trimester now and I'm getting less nauseous. I've even had a handful of days where I've not had to take my Zofran pill (those days are heaven!). Food is still scary most days (will it come back to visit my mouth after I swallow it?), but on others it is almost as good as it was before the mouse arrived. Given my improving condition, I feel like I've gained my weight back, but according to the scale at the doctor's, I've lost another pound. I feel like my stomach is huge. My pants still fit, but my belly to me seems ginormous.
And here is the weird part:
I really was ok with being huge without child, because I knew at any moment, I could resolve to change my look if I so desired. But, being huge with child is less easy for me to swallow at this point because 1. I don't feel like I, at 15 weeks, should look pregnant yet (especially since it's my first) and 2. I can't do anything about my size considering I'm definitely not over-eating. And my belly isn't hard and cute, it's just large and I don't have an ounce of control. I've got a lot more time to get big, and am more than happy to get as big as a house if this baby requires it - but not starting before 4.5 months.
So 2011 is going to be the year of baby. My body will expand and make-over much more than it did in 2010. I am fully expecting to be gushy in my stomach post baby. I'm really not worried about that - nor a huge belly come March, April, May, June. I welcome the natural and normal change/damage a baby causes on a female body - I just really wasn't expecting it to happen this early.
And before I sign off, let me just share a bit of naive truth: I didn't expect to be even 1/4 as sick as I've been. I expected in pregnancy: varicose veins, possible stretch marks (to match those who've graced my butt for decades), back pain, difficulty sleeping, cravings, swollen everything, emotional roller coasters, and every other symptom but those that I've had: burping, aversion to food, nausea, vomiting, and dehydration.
What a journey this little mouse has taken my body on...oh, the places we'll go!
I, Robin Orvin, probably gained over 25 pounds and had a body make-over of sorts. You could say that it was getting married (and out of the pace and pressure of singledom).
Or maybe it was moving to Arkansas (and doing less exercising due to a hot and humid summer).
And you'd probably all agree that opening a yogurt store contributed (candy, sugar, and more candy).
I'm sure there were many factors related to my expanding body, but I handled it well and owned it. I've always had self-esteem completely unrelated to my size and reflection in the mirror. I consider myself blessed in this way, as I know so many who have good days or bad days based on their reflection or the number being shown on their scale. Just one of the reasons I don't weigh myself regularly.
Well, I'm pregnant now. I'm supposed to have an expanding body, it's expected. And all I did the first trimester is lose weight. Thanks to my little mouse inside of me (trust me, the baby is a mouse according to the first ultrasound), I'm fitting back into my pants that have been shelved for at least 9 months. And I do like being able to wear my clothes, but this is only one of two benefits of pregnancy sickness I can think of. The other one is knowing my body is busy at work producing hormones to help the fetus grow (I guess).
I'm in my second trimester now and I'm getting less nauseous. I've even had a handful of days where I've not had to take my Zofran pill (those days are heaven!). Food is still scary most days (will it come back to visit my mouth after I swallow it?), but on others it is almost as good as it was before the mouse arrived. Given my improving condition, I feel like I've gained my weight back, but according to the scale at the doctor's, I've lost another pound. I feel like my stomach is huge. My pants still fit, but my belly to me seems ginormous.
And here is the weird part:
I really was ok with being huge without child, because I knew at any moment, I could resolve to change my look if I so desired. But, being huge with child is less easy for me to swallow at this point because 1. I don't feel like I, at 15 weeks, should look pregnant yet (especially since it's my first) and 2. I can't do anything about my size considering I'm definitely not over-eating. And my belly isn't hard and cute, it's just large and I don't have an ounce of control. I've got a lot more time to get big, and am more than happy to get as big as a house if this baby requires it - but not starting before 4.5 months.
So 2011 is going to be the year of baby. My body will expand and make-over much more than it did in 2010. I am fully expecting to be gushy in my stomach post baby. I'm really not worried about that - nor a huge belly come March, April, May, June. I welcome the natural and normal change/damage a baby causes on a female body - I just really wasn't expecting it to happen this early.
And before I sign off, let me just share a bit of naive truth: I didn't expect to be even 1/4 as sick as I've been. I expected in pregnancy: varicose veins, possible stretch marks (to match those who've graced my butt for decades), back pain, difficulty sleeping, cravings, swollen everything, emotional roller coasters, and every other symptom but those that I've had: burping, aversion to food, nausea, vomiting, and dehydration.
What a journey this little mouse has taken my body on...oh, the places we'll go!
I love you Robin! I wish that we all were that comfortable in our own skin. As long as we are healthy we should be happy right??? Those little "mice" sure can do a number on us... it is actually pretty amazing. And even when they are out, they still effect your body. Engorged breasts, infections, breastfeeding belly, acne, hair falling out. Hormones are a drag. You are in the awkward stage though where you just feel fat. Don't worry though. Soon enough you wont be able to bend over to tie your shoes!
ReplyDeleteThe nausea and reflux and yucky stuff you have going on right now will make you feel so bloated and big in the belly. That's how I felt in the beginning too, and I was worried that I was showing way too soon. But the growth slowed down a lot after I started feeling better. I'm glad you're starting to feel a little better, and I hope you get to go off your medicine completely in the near future!
ReplyDeleteCute post Robin. Love it. I wish i could see your little baby bump.
ReplyDelete