Robin & Cody

Growing Too Fast!

2012-03-04T23:33:00.000-08:00

8 Months has flown by, and our Little Livy is one month closer to her first ever birthday!

She is teething again. This time she is in pain. Her two top teeth are coming in, one is already quite visible, and she is just uncomfortable.

Staying on the theme of teeth, Alivia loves to floss her two bottom teeth. She really just loves the mint taste from the woven floss, but whatever makes her enjoy getting her teeth brushed and flossed is ok with me.

She is eating like a champ these days. We have to be careful with her favorite, bananas, because of constipation issues (who knew she could be so sensitive to it), but no crying occurs during meal time. She eats one really good meal a day before her bath, and two casual "no set time" meals in between her bottles in the day.

note the delicious rolls as evidence.

She's definitely gaining more fine motor skills. She can grab her pacifier if she wants it and put it in her mouth successfully every time.

She says mama over and over when she is complaining. She's smart because it gets me to pick her up and entertain her every. single. time. I love her only little word. I don't know that she realizes it's my title/name, but she sure does know it gets me to come rescue her from boredom.

She gets frustrated when trying to crawl. For weeks she's been rocking on her hands and knees, but her hands don't move as well as her knees do and in the end, she usually crawls backwards or ends up on her chest. All very frustrating for her.

She loves to pull herself up on things. She's not strong enough yet to do it consistently well, but oh boy, is she so excited when she does do it well.

She's laughing more, but it's like a fake laugh. We love it! She's also crying more at insignificant things. Like when we have to take something away that she's enjoying or when we leave for a second to go grab something from the next room.

I'm still super obnoxiously obsessed with this little nugget, and as Cody says, I spoil her. He also says I follow her around like I'm paparazzi.

Behind

2012-03-02T21:05:00.001-08:00

Cody and I are slow to jump on the band wagon. We are behind the majority of people our age in acquiring new gadgets and gizmos.

We just bought a flat screen TV. We bought our condo before we upgraded to a flat screen. I bet 95% of people buy a nice TV before a condo.

We both still have flip phones. We don't have iPhones, iPads, or iPods.

We're aren't on Pintrest or twitter, and I for one was way behind the curve in getting a facebook account.

We haven't read Harry Potter. I know I was one of the last to read Twilight, and Cody and I are just now starting to read The Hunger Games.

We are just behind. But here are some bonuses for being behind:

For one, I'm never disappointed with the actors they pick for the movies of Twilight or Hunger Games, because I saw the trailer before I read the book, and pictured the actors as the characters in the book.

Secondly, When Cody and I do get a new gadget, we get an upgraded model, because the originals are no longer in production and have been improved. It's more bang for your buck, so to speak.

Lastly, We rarely make a mistake in our purchasing, because we definitely aren't impulsive buyers, and because the rest of America has reviewed the product, it's lasted the test of time (with improvements), and our satisfaction is virtually a guarantee.

We are currently loving Hunger Games. And now that we're into hunger games, an iphone is next on the list. I have months to decide on a black or white one. Months to anticipate and grow an appreciation for FINALLY having a fun phone. And you better believe, I'll be happy to understand the fascination with "Angry Birds."

Bacon

2012-03-02T10:34:00.001-08:00

I just saw the dumbest commercial for the hundredth time. Jack In The Box has a commercial and it goes like this:

A young adult male is on the couch with his mother. He tells his mother that he is getting married. The mother asks who the lucky girl is. He says it isn't a girl. It's bacon. The commercial then shows the man holding a strip of bacon while ring shopping, etc.

At the wedding, after he says I do, the man eats the bacon now in a burger.

It's seriously the cheesiest, lamest commercial I've possibly ever seen. How did Jack In The Box approve it? It's smart only in that I remember their product because the commercial is so dumb. BUT, they also air it all. the. time. So that could be why I remember it. If I were Jack In The Box, I'd take some notes from the M&M commercial I mentioned in my Superbowl post. Now that is a memorable AND brilliant advertisement!

Super Saturdays!

2012-03-01T01:10:00.000-08:00

My brother Redge and his wife Marci have instituted the "Super Saturday" way of life. The Super Saturday mentality is quite simple - maximize the fun on Saturday and make it super because life is short and it's easy to go through life, not making memories. They invited us on one of their Saturday activities a couple weeks ago. We had a beach dutch oven bonfire and made smores.

Oh my little fair-skinned baby girl...how I lather your milky skin with sun screen.

Since early February, we've been having some super outings of our own kind and variety. Upcoming posts will document our trips to Centennial Farms, Griffith Observatory, the Richard Nixon Library, bowling, and the Back Bay for a hike in nature.

Hotel Orvin

2012-02-26T16:54:00.000-08:00

The past couple little bit has been back-to-back house guests. We've been busy having fun, being social, and washing sheets and towels.

First up was Ruby dog. I've already posted about her stay with us...but she was easy to watch and is beautifully house trained.

Next was Cody's sister Jana and her husband Dave. I don't know how many people are as lucky as I am to enjoy their in-laws as much as I do, but being around Jana and Dave was a good time. Unfortunately, Dave has had a year of surgeries and pain, so walking around too much was out of the question. As a result, we just relaxed by going to the beach, eating out, and playing a game or two.

Here we are in Huntington Beach on the Pier:

This lady worked for 45 minutes to catch this sting ray. She said it was her dinner. I can't think of anything more disgusting.

Here we are at Crystal Cove beach after eating at Ruby's Shake Shack:

Then my parents came to stay with us for a couple of nights. If ya'll don't know, my parents are remodeling their house. My childhood home was sold at the end of the summer and their new house is under construction so they've been renters for the past couple of months. But their lease had ended and the construction is about over and they had a trip planned to Montana for 10 days, so staying at Hotel Orvin it was. I can't wait for their house to be done...it will be so nice to go hang out there (I'll probably post about their house for those of you interested).

Next up were Cody's parents, Connie and Jere. Again, I love my in-laws. And now that I'm a mom, I'm very interested in seeing them as much as possible since I want Alivia to be very close to her Grandma and Grandpa (my parents are Grammy and Bop). We went to the Jay Leno show while they were here (guest was First Lady, Michelle Obama!), ate out, went on walks, and rented some movies. Unfortunately, I had the stomach flu for one of the days and Alivia got a cold, so she was a tad fussy during their stay :(

Alivia in a high chair for the first time at one of our nights out.

And we've had my parent's dog Maggie staying with us. She is not house trained however, and spent her days outside in our patio. At night though, after I took her to pee and poop, I'd let her in for a couple of hours to lay on her bed. On one night, I had just let her out to go to the bathroom and was sitting on the couch feeling gross from the flu, and I notice Maggie on the carpet (which was a no-no). Turns out she was pooping, and it was all runny and gross. I could have killed her! She also peed three times in the house, and I was really disciplined about taking her outside on a regular basis to pee. Let's just say she's lucky I love her butt because I was close to locking her in her crate for the rest of eternity!

Then my college friend Frances and her brand spankin new husband Andrew came to see us for a night. Remember the wedding I went up to Utah in September to go to, but missed by one night? My airhead move of the year? Well, I finally got to see my friend Frances married. To a wonderful man. We had a great time chatting and reminiscing. We went to Balboa Island so Frances can get a Balboa Bar. And we went to church. That's about the extent of it. It was way too short of a stay for my liking. I needed me some more Frances time.

My parents have since returned and taken Maggie back with them. They stayed with us for two more nights after Montana, but opted to go stay in a legit hotel seeing as their house won't be done for weeks and I think my dad wanted his own space.

Our house seems a lot more quiet and boring these days since all our guests have gone.

Love Day

2012-02-17T21:43:00.000-08:00

I sure hope all of you had a fun Valentine's day.

Here is how ours went down via photos and captions.

Cody made German Pancakes and Alivia had to feed herself her morning bottle.

Cody spoiled his daughter, since she doesn't have a Valentine of her own.

Cody showered me with love too. He's good like that.

My mom was super thoughtful and brought us some yummy treats!

Alivia went to her Aunt Brooke's while we went to dinner at El Torito Grill where we had our pre-nuptual dinner. We also saw "The Vow."

Our little Valentine.

Being MaMa

2012-02-16T22:11:00.000-08:00

I've always wondered what it would be like to be a mother. And I thought I'd be able to articulate my experience by now, with 7 months experience, but I, I just can't. I guess it's just one of those things. I likewise thought I'd be able to describe my love for my spouse on the day of our wedding, but I tried to describe my love for Cody at our reception and failed miserably. It was just too hard to find the right words, beautiful words, that described my affections that day.

Sometimes I'm this way with religion. I could begin to try to describe the existence and importance of Deity, but I would sound elementary and confused and in the end, I would think that my description was different from how I really see and experience religion. Sometimes I feel like bearing my testimony is a futile endeavor, but if I go super micro and focus on specific topics about my faith, then I feel much more articulate and true.

There are some things in life that are just too huge, too awesome, too close to the heart that it makes conceptualizing them, let alone describing them, near to impossible.

Motherhood is that way to me. I have a beautiful 7 month old baby girl that I made and grew in my belly and have cared for all this time. Could this little girl I hold really be that little mouse I saw in the ultrasound this time last year? Really? Could that even be possible?

In terms of science it all makes sense, I know. I'm not stupid. But when you really stop to think, it is crazy that my little mouse on the screen is my almost crawling little one.

My whole life I've watched mothers in action, I've practiced being a mom with dolls and purses and babysitting and by being an Aunt. And now I'm a mama. And it is surreal.

Here is what I have so far on motherhood. And I'm going specific here to help with my discription. I also doubt this list will capture how I experience motherhood, but I shall try.

1. At any given moment I could feel like a babysitter, but too often, I'll look at Alivia and have all the love in the world consume my heart. And I've never had that happen to me as a babysitter.

2. Her cry pulls at my heart. I've always found babies crying a bit unnerving and annoying, even the babies I've loved. I'd be swift to pick the baby up and soothe it just to stop that unnerving sound. But Alivia's cries affect me in a very different way. From 0-3 months it was an "oh that little cry is so cute" pull at my heart because she hadn't yet found her lungs and that little quiet whimper cry was the cutest thing I'd experienced. Seriously. I wanted to video it so that I could remember it in all its cuteness, but then the cry would draw me to her side so that I could fix whatever it was that was making her cry and I never got around to videoing it. Now her cry is very different from that quiet whimper. It is louder without fail. But it still isn't what I expected. Now, it pulls at my heart in a "oh honey let mama fix it" way. The cry grew from cute to sad. And when she cries, I rarely even think of what my own ears are experiencing. Instead I think of what my heart is experiencing. The worst is when I can't fix what she's crying about. Like when she has a cold. Or decides to fight going to sleep and is overtired. Or when I'm driving and can't explain to her that we're almost home and we will get her out of that contraption of a car seat and play to her hearts content. This aspect of motherhood has maybe been the biggest shock.

3. I feel like we are best friends. Now don't be alarmed, Cody is my best friend and I'm never going to be that woman who dresses like my teenager and wants to know all of the high school drama so that I can be one of the girls and beg in essence for my daughter to think I'm cool and THE BESTEST, but I do feel a friendship with my daughter. After all, I spend my days with her and I talk to her all day long and she witnesses my emotions and experiences and I feel like we know each other and get each other. I wish we could have a conversation about the movie I recently saw, "The Vow", or about how my lesson went on Sunday or about how she could possibly like being carried on someone's hip all the time. After all, I'd much rather be strolled around.

4. I worry for her safety. This I expected in motherhood. But unlike some mothers I've spoken with, who worry about the future and feel the weight of molding and shaping a child into a responsible, contributing member of society, I worry about the here and now. Alivia's childhood, teenage, and young adult years are so far from my mind. And my main concern is really just about her physical health and safety. I worry about leaving her for a date, regardless of the capabilities of the babysitter (often a family member with more mothering experience and skills than me). I worry about nutrition and constipation and good weight gain and the like. Thankfully I no longer worry about Alivia's head shape. I also no longer worry about SIDS, but unfortunately that has only been replaced with the fear of her smothering/suffocating in her sleep. I'm good to let the worries stay in my head. I don't call the pediatrician and am the worst at remembering to ask during her regular check-ups about the physical things that do concern me (i.e. the bumps by her right eye or the weird way her belly button feels). But this worrying is my new norm I guess.

5. I long for childless shopping trips because doing such errands without a baby in tow is so much easier and faster. I often won't do many errands in a day because I feel guilty having Livy confined to a stroller or car seat for too long. But, when I'm out alone and Cody has Livy, or when we are on a date, it's amazing how she is always on my mind. And it's amazing how, without fail, I always end up missing her, and get excited to see her upon my arrival home. It surprises me that I haven't ever regretted going home because then I have to mother Alivia. I always thought I would. And maybe there is a small part of me that wishes I could arrive home and just take care of things without having to pump or feed or the like, but that small part is hidden by that larger part of me that is excited to creep around the corner and say, "hello" to a fresh smile staring back at me. Cody just isn't as genuinely happy to see me return from errands.

And that's about all I can say for now.

Hearts and Kisses...

2012-02-13T23:41:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I hope your day is all things love-ly. I know many who find today a lame, commercialized holiday. And Valentine's Day often seemed depressing as a jaded single woman, but now I see Valentine's Day in all it's glory. Any day that provides an opportunity to celebrate one of the most enjoyable of affections is a great day. And any day that allows me to treasure the people in my life that bring me the most joy and fill me with love, well now, that's a holiday I want to celebrate!

Look at what my bestest friend, Shaunna sent me in the mail. Look at that hair bow for Alivia (she wore it this Sunday)! What a great friend I have in her!

And look at what I made for Cody this year. I am so impressed with myself...considering I do NOT do crafts or make things (other than dinner and Alivia). I got the idea from my sister.

XOXO
more love day festivities to follow.

January Outings

2012-02-08T00:17:00.000-08:00

This is Alivia's first time at the park. And in a swing (12-29-11). She did some tandem swinging with her cousin Rockford. Rockford is the most bashful little guy when he smiles - it's adorable. He also loves to laugh at pretty much anything. Alivia on the flip side doesn't laugh but on very rare occasions. All funny faces and tickles in the world would maybe produce a millisecond laugh, if that, if she were the perfect combination of happy and tired.

They love each other!

On a separate day weeks later, we met up with Marci, Rockford, and Margot and had a picnic in Mile Square Park by the pond.

Alivia sure does love her cousin Rockford...maybe a little too much.

Being lazy and chill.

We also went to Ruby's on the pier on a Saturday.

We went to the Corona Del Mar farmer's market. Note how sexy my man looks pushing a stroller.

And to Pacific Whey off Pacific Coast Highway for lunch.

Alivia is so fly. This is her playing during lunch. Love this chubby cheeked face!

We've had a lot of visitors lately, and the fun outings have definitely continued.

7 Months!!

2012-02-07T00:31:00.000-08:00

This is a little late as always, but our little Livy girl is 7 months old (1-28-12).

*Alivia is sitting like a pro.

*She is getting on her hands and knees a lot. She certainly isn't crawling, but I sense it is on the horizon.

*Alivia now likes her baby food just fine. Some nights it seems like she is just tolerating it, but as long as it's not green beans, she's does fine.

*Alivia still loves, loves, loves people. She can be crying and hungry and tired, but the second she is placed in a social setting, she forgets her woes and becomes perfectly content to people watch.

*Alivia is learning how to kiss. It's cute. She gives wide open, wet kisses.

*Alivia is jumperoo trained. I swear, she only does a #2 mess if we place her in her jumperoo. I'm hoping this means she'll be easy to potty train in the future.

*Alivia goes down easily for naps and the night. She sleeps about 12 hours at night and has two or three naps a day totaling 4 hours-ish.

*Her hair is growing in nicely these days - a light brown.

*She clicks her tongue a lot.

*She waves her hand sideways when it is close to the corner her mouth.

*She just sat in the restaurant high chair for the first time the other day.

I just love her!

Sick Baby

2012-02-06T04:20:00.001-08:00

Alivia's had a cold this week, and she takes after yours truly when it comes to symptoms - watery eye and watery, spontaneous snot nose. Poor girl. She is mostly better, thank goodness, because when our girl is sick, she wakes up in the middle of the night. And if you ask us, that's the worst symptom of all!

Superbowl

2012-02-05T23:05:00.000-08:00

I love Kelly Clarkson. I just do. She has a great voice and did well singing the National Anthem.

I think my favorite commercial was the m&m one in the club where the red m&m takes off his shell and dances to "I'm sexy and I know it".

There were so many, too many car commercials, but if I had to pick my favorites, they are the fiat one, the Honda CRV one with Matthew Brod., and the Detroit one with Clint Eastwood.

Half-time was so so.

I've never seen a network plug a show as much as NBC plugged Smash.

That's it. No football talk today.

K9 Kisses

2012-01-22T21:40:00.000-08:00

Here is Ruby Doo, my sister's dog. We are watching her for a couple of days. Alivia loves Ruby, but I can't stand all of the k9 kisses on Alivia.

And before you think that Alivia can't stand all the kisses, look at her post kiss face...

Here is Alivia giving Ruby the beg command (ok. not really. but that's what it looks like, right?).

Captions and Stories

2012-01-17T00:39:00.000-08:00

I have a problem because often, when looking at pictures of my daughter, I think of a caption, conversation, or story based on her positioning or facial expressions. Let me just show you what I mean.

Example 1. Think Valley Girl.
"Shut the front door"

"OMG, No he didn't"

Example 2. Think Different Strokes.
"What are you talking about Willis"

And finally, Example 3. Think MTV "Cribs" show.
"Are we rolling yet? Do I you think I look cool with one arm over the Bumper?

No? Oh my gosh. OK. No time. Give me my pacifier. I've got this. Go...

Hey, everyone, welcome to my crib. My names Livy Liv and I'm going to be showing you around my pad today.

Let's see, what should I show you first?

Oh yeah, here is my bumper...

It has this really cool pattern on the inside and on the outside.

It has some fun ruffles on top.

And after a long day of napping and eating, I use the bumper as a way to chill and relax.

Next up I'd like to show you how I keep myself nice and hot on chill days.
Here is one of my many blankets. I like this one cause it's pink to match the rest of my crib.

And when you're too young and lazy to get potty trained, blankets are a great way to conceal your diaper. See? First you see diapers...

Now you don't.

I've asked my mom to show you a panoramic shot of my entire crib.

get my nice soft bear in the shot.

I don't know that there is anything else to show you guys.
Thanks for coming by to see my crib, but now it's time for you to leave.
And cut.

Can you believe I mentioned my diapers?

That was so embarrassing."

So, as you readers can tell...I have a problem. If only Alivia was less expressive!

The Hardest Part...

2012-01-16T23:44:00.000-08:00

Alivia's been an easy baby. So when Cody and I get asked, "What's the hardest part of parenthood?," we scramble for an answer. Our adjustment to our new roles as mother and father has been natural and comfortable.

After debating it out though, we concluded that maybe, just maybe, the most difficult part of parenthood for us is the packing, loading, and carting around of all the extra stuff required for an outing with a baby. And remembering all the extra stuff.

We've forgotten the stroller, a back-up outfit, enough diapers. Or we forget our phones or my pump or something else because there's just too much to remember.

It's annoying. Super annoying. Especially annoying when, as was the case this past weekend, we are out on the town and remember everything, even my pump, but due to miscommunication, forget something as small as a nipple for the bottle.

Here is what we tried doing:

Alivia humored us for a minute, but then Cody had to go and buy the cheapest bottle available at the closest market. Our poor daughter.

Poor Cody

2012-01-16T23:29:00.000-08:00

Fatherhood is something Cody really enjoys.

Just not so much this aspect...

That is Alivia's spit-up.

In. His. Mouth.

And he had already cleaned up a bit before I could grab the camera.

I'll say two things:
#1. Better him than me.
#2. Good aim Livy. Good aim.

The OC

2012-01-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

It is depressing to think that our little condo is worth the same amount as a nice, large, and glorious house in Arkansas or Utah or most other states. I love our little condo, don't get me wrong, but we will grow out of it before you know it and then we will need to spend an even larger fortune for a home.

That being said, living here in Orange County has advantages, the weather being on of them. We've had weather in the 70's for weeks now and it's January. So given the lovely weather, we took advantage of another Orange County favorite, the Newport Harbor and Bay. We ate pizza and soda all while riding in a cute little duffy boat in the middle of the bay - with family. We saw sea lions, pelicans, and seagulls. We saw the Fun Zone and the boat ferry. I'll tell you what, family, weather, and nights like Friday make paying ridiculous amounts of money for a small little condo much more agreeable.

Here is our little passenger in her life jacket and looking out at her surroundings:

Here is our captain:

I'm so bummed I didn't get a picture of Margot!

Here is the Fun Zone:

Balboa Pavilion:

Here are the sea lions with flash and without:

Here is the Pelican:

Here is the Seagull (eating a fish on the boat):

And the sunset photo above is from a saturday night shopping trip...it was so much better in person!

6 months!!!

2012-01-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

For serious? She is already 6 months?! I feel like 6 months of pregnancy felt like an eternity but 6 months of motherhood has felt like a hiccup. My sweet Alivia has grown up too big too fast. Life is so silly that way.

Little Livy Pearl had a rough 6 month birth date. For starters she was sick. And secondly, we made her have rice cereal for the first time. Let me just say she is not a fan. She gagged, spit, shook out of disgust, and even cried at one point. It was sad and entertaining all at the same time. We tried it again before her bath, with a different consistency and with pear puree, but she still wasn't a fan. Who knew my child wouldn't like food at first meeting.

At 6 months Alivia has two teeth!!!! Just look and see. And this photo was taken toward the beginning of December! I didn't even know she was teething until she bit my finger and one of the teeth was very visible. What crappy mom doesn't know her kid is teething until it is so obvious?!

On her 6 month mark (12-28-11), Alivia could roll over every which way, but best from her back to her front.

She talks a ton of gibberish.

She smiles the day away.

She can sit unassisted for about a minute or two before falling.

She recognizes her bottle. This is a new development this month. And heaven forbid she see her bottle before it is warmed and ready because then she starts complaining for it.

She still gets baths in the sink on her bather. That will have to stop soon. She's just getting too big and she tries to pull on everything, including the hot water valve!

She went to the doctor and got 4 shots on Wednesday. Poor girl. She's a tough girl though. This is me giving her loves in the parking lot outside the doctor's office. I have no make-up on because I've been sick with a cold this week. This includes a very watery eye and nose, which will spontaneously leak without a moments notice. Lukily I'm feeling better and so is she.

I sure do love my little nugget, all 14 pounds 15 ounces (roughly 40%) and I think 26 or 27 inches (roughly 60%).

Another follow-up post

2012-01-01T09:31:00.000-08:00

Cody just said he wishes that I would resolve to be less argumentative in the new year. We just argued about how long I waited to start eating my cereal after I complained about how fast Honey Bunches of Oats gets soggy. These are the type of fights you'll find in the Orvin household. Our fights consist of me giving him sass and Cody giving me attitude.

But what Cody doesn't know is that I like my sass just fine and I have enough resolutions on my plate. Cody, my love, feel free to make your suggestion a part of your resolution list.

I resolve to...

2012-01-01T08:54:00.000-08:00

be more prompt.
-this includes but is not limited to:
getting showered and ready for the day by noon every single day. now don't judge, we don't get up in this household very early.
having the diaper bag prepackaged and ready to go before the time of departure so that i'm not running around with my head chopped off trying to get what I need.
and of course, telling myself that in fact, no, I don't have another ten minutes to start that other project and get a head start before having to leave. I just need to leave.

be more spiritually minded.
- this is includes:
going to bed earlier so that my prayers aren't nonsensical.
reading a chapter of scripture a night with Cody. We used to be so much better at this.
saying prayers with Alivia at night when I put her down.

be more active.
-this is includes:
going for a morning walk/run at least 4 times a week.
turning off the television once and a while (I'm still allowed to love my TV shows) and leaving the house as a family, in the evening, to go stop by some friends and bring them cookies or have people over for game night or the like.
exploring with Alivia when she gets mobile...like yours truly crawling and going on snail paced walks around the house and front lawn instead of watching her go while I surf the internet.

be more mindful.
-this includes:
returning texts when I get them.
offering to help with the dishes when I'm at my parents house.
choosing to be aware of where my phone, keys, and camera are at all times.
looking to serve...and not waiting to be inspired or asked.
reading at least 5 books this year.

Not a shabby list I've got going on. I already have my doubts, but I posted them so that I can stay accountable to you people in my blogosphere. Now lets get this 2012 party started!

Best of 2011...

2011-12-31T11:24:00.000-08:00

Without a doubt, the best part of 2011 was her.

Long winded

2011-12-29T10:47:00.000-08:00

Cody just read the previous post and said I am ridiculous. He said the post is waaaayyyyy too long. He laughed every time he happened upon another paragraph. He said that if my readers weren't scared away by all the posts being of Alivia, they sure would be by the length of that last post. We were both laughing pretty hard about that fact.

I love that he's so funny and that I accept criticism with ease. Because the truth of the matter is, he's right. I'm extremely, ridiculously, long winded!

Incompetence

2011-12-29T09:36:00.001-08:00

I have little patience these days for incompetent people. I seem to be encountering them more frequently. Is there a breakout, an epidemic? Let me offer two examples.

Just this week I went to get my haircut. I go to The Haircutters. It's fast, cheap, and I don't need an appointment. I know this sounds reckless, but remember I have curly hair and a slightly poor quality cut is often hidden by the curls. They are quite forgiving. Plus, I've never really gotten a bad cut from this place.

Well, this week...my hair was driving me nuts and I had had it. I wanted some of the length and weight off my hair - stat. So I left Alivia with Cody and printed a coupon for two dollars off and went to get my haircut. Well, the lady who cut my hair was nice enough. She chatted about kids and meds and breastfeeding and the like...all the while cutting my hair horribly. I tell you, I have never questioned an end product mid-way like I did this haircut. She did a horrible job. I can't stress this point any harder. Horrible! But hopefully, it won't show because, once again, I have curls.

But then we went to check-out and this is where I died. She took my coupon. Read it. Said it will be two dollars off eighteen. And. Then. Pulled. Out. The. Calculator!!!! Can you believe it?! She couldn't subtract 2 from 18! I was floored. I mean, if you can't cut hair, at least be able to do basic math. Have something to offer your clients. Something!

I have come to the realization that niceness is no substitute for competence. I once thought that it maybe could be, but I now have a firm belief that if you are completely incompetent in helping and serving in your given place, niceness is of little use to me.

This takes us to my second example: Walmart. Now I'm not a snob who thinks she's good enough for Target but too good for Walmart. I lived in Arkansas and know how nice Walmarts can be. They can be clean, stocked, and full of helpful and well-groomed employees. They just can't be that way here in California apparently.

Two weeks ago, Cody had a big order with Urban Outfitters and needed a lot of a certain sized box. While Cody tagged the blankets and got the order ready, I went to Walmart for 30 boxes. They didn't have any on the shelf. I found an employee and asked her to check in the back to see if they had any back there. TWENTY minutes later...she strolls down my isle, after seeing my "what did you find out" look, she said, "oh yes, I'll now go and look for your boxes." WHAT?! I said I thought she had been looking this whole time and asked her what she had been doing all the time I was waiting (I even asked another employee to try to find her), and her simple and pathetic response was "oh, I had to pull something for someone." Awesome.

She later responded that there were no more boxes but that I could go to customer service for further assistance. So I wait in line and when I reach the customer service rep, I ask if another store has my desired boxes. She asks me what the box's upc number is. I say I don't know. She says she can't do any searching without the number. She then proceeds to stare at me. She doesn't radio a rep in that department to have them look up the upc number as she should. She finally says I need to go back and get it if I want her to look it up. UGH! I go back to the isle, get the number, and the lady finally says they should have 200 in the back. What? The other employee said there were none in the back. Then the rep says then the computer must be wrong and that the only thing I could do is find a store manager to have them get the keys and look in the storage unit out back, but that the process would take a long time.

So she says my best bet is to go to Huntington Beach Walmart because they are supposed to have 500 boxes and there is no way they don't have 30. But, wait for it, I go and they have...0. That's right, zero! Did I mention I have Alivia with me? The store manager can't explain for the fact that they are supposed to have 500 and don't. And for that matter, he said he saw them just a couple days previously. Are you being robbed? Are your employees absent minded and misplacing 500 boxes? Excuse me store manager...but how do those things go missing?

He says to follow him. I have alivia in a stroller and I'm pulling a cart. He doesn't offer to push the cart for me. That would have been a gentleman's gesture. But whatever. We go to the "only place where the boxes could be" and we see none. He then says, "well, I'm awful sorry, but I can't help you." To which I say that I refuse his response. I had just driven from Orange at the suggestion of the rep there and he was the manager and I needed boxes and he should have 500 and he is wasting my car gas and my time. He said he'd give me a ten dollar gift card and an apology, but that was the best he could do.

Well I took his money because I'm not stupid. But I was still bugged. He took me to the garden center to purchase my other items (packing tape and other supplies) because "the lines are shorter in the garden center", but the garden center doesn't have gift cards. So now I have to wait twice as long for him to go and get a gift card, ring it up, and bring it back to me. All the while, I'm in line and the teller closes her lane when I'm the next in line because the customer in front of me has a check that didn't clear...and all the other tellers just left for break. She's the only option, and she's closed. Awesome.

The store manager finally comes back, hands me the gift card, and asks what else he can do. I thought the answer was obvious, but I didn't have much faith in him to figure it out, so I asked him to open another lane as the line I was in was growing and there were no other tellers. He looks around and asks the teller of my closed line were her co-workers are. Oh brother! She says they are on break. He asks when they should be off of break and so forth. Finally, he radios more employees to come and assist while the teller of the closed lane mouths "thank you" to me.

First, I wrote Walmart corporation about their horrible computer inventory system. What is the point of one if it can be 200 and 500 points off mark. Secondly, the customer service reps and manager were minimally helpful at best. Thirdly, I'll just say that the dress code is grossly misfollowed here in California. Grossly misfollowed! And it's hard to distinguish employees if they look like any other shopper. And lastly, all the greeters were extremely friendly. And you know what, I couldn't have cared. If you as a store are completely incompetent, it doesn't matter that you have a nice man or lady at the door complimenting my child and smiling and saying nice words like, "Merry Christmas," if you as a store, are operating as I've mentioned above. That nice employee will not insure my continued business.

I will say that I tried my best at being nice to the nice people, because, afterall, I'm a Christian. And these greeters are paid to be nice, and they were nice, which makes them the most competent ones of the bunch!

Baby's First Christmas Day

2011-12-29T00:38:00.000-08:00

I hope your Christmas was exactly what you wanted. I was quite pleased with ours.

Look at my little nugget below! This is what Cody does with Alivia most mornings. I'm already downstairs pumping and she creeps around the corner. Sometimes it takes me awhile to notice her, and when I do, I laugh and she smiles and the day is made. On Christmas, I was downstairs with the camera ready for her to come downstairs. Cody said that when he went in to wake her up (since we had to be at church at 9), she seemed more excited and happy than any other morning. Like she knew it was Christmas.

Loving her new toy...

We went to our Christmas service at my parent's ward.

I was so excited to have Alivia experience Christmas for the first time. I wrapped all of her presents...and basically unwrapped them too. She enjoyed the process though...and the wrapping paper!

Oh, and did I mention that my husband spoils me?! He got me the thing I wanted most...a nice camera. Not like our old one, but a real legit one. My blog is about to get way more overloaded with pictures.

Santa Baby...

2011-12-25T00:38:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday, Alivia saw Santa for the second time at the Snoopy Movement at Costa Mesa City Hall. More on that later, as well as her first encounter with Santa, but for now, here is our little Livy Pearl with Santa.
Merry Christmas!!

Grammy's Card

2011-12-21T00:31:00.000-08:00

These new additions to the Bendheim clan got together to photograph for my Mom's Christmas card. I can't get over how much Alivia has grown since June, which is exaggerated when she's placed next to brand-spankin-new, straight-off-the-farm, baby Hunter. She also looks so fair (butt-white) next to him too. But he was jaundice...so there you have it.

It's so cute that Rockford and Alivia love socializing with each other.

The Most Wonderful

2011-12-20T23:32:00.001-08:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year. In the Orvin household, we love December. We love it because of Christmas...and the merriment, the cheer, the lights, the hot cider, and the family time.

Here is our house this December:

I love that my Grandma Bendheim's Christmas ornaments adorn our tree.

I love my Grandma Sprague's Christmas Carolers.

I love that Alivia loves the lights on the tree.

I love Cody and my Travel Tree...ornaments acquired on vacations.

I LOVE Christmas cards. They make getting the mail so much more fun.

I love Connie's Advent Calender.

I love it, love it, love it. And I can't believe Christmas is already this Sunday!

Hope you're having the most wonderful time in your household too.

Greed...

2011-12-10T21:40:00.001-08:00

Lately, I've been daydreaming about being extremely wealthy. I've been planning on Cody starting up a company and we sell it for anywhere in the ballpark of 2 to 30 million dollars - depending on how greedy I am on any particular day.

With the money I:

buy a gorgeous home.

buy a newer, bigger car. Nothing too crazy though.

go on vacation.

buy clothes for me and clothes and bows like crazy for Alivia.

And so on.

I'll admit that I've been really greedy...and covetous. Which is wrong and bad, I know. Especially this time of year, when giving and Christ-like attributes should be in the forfront of my mind. Trust me, I'm super grateful for what Cody and I have...and know that the things we own meet our needs and beyond. I'm just in a material state of mind this week I guess.

Seems like it's time for me to go to the giving tree at Walmart and be Santa for some kids. The only way to cure my greed is spend my money on someone else.

Thanksgiving

2011-12-04T20:37:00.000-08:00

We were in Logan with the Orvins this year on Thanksgiving. We had a great time as always. We saw movies (The Help and Breaking Dawn - loved it and loved it) and ate out and shopped (with every other person in the Cache Valley) and spent the days with family.

Alivia had her first flight and handled it like a champ. I was nervous...because you never know how the altitude and cramped space will affect your baby...but Alivia was happy to have the attention of both of us, as well as the other passangers who sat next to us. She also loved the TVs in the Jet Blue seats. I think the picture below says it all. She couldn't even take her eyes off the tv for the picture.

Alivia in the snow (the hat didn't quite fit - oh well)

I am super grateful to have such amazing in-laws. I never imagined enjoying my husband's family as much as I enjoy the Orvins. Connie, in particular, makes me feel so welcomed and loved. Especially since every time we leave, she says good-bye with tears. She gets teased for being easy to tear, but I love it because then I know she loves us and will miss us until our next visit.

Cody and I helped with the Thanksgiving dinner. Cody made his rolls and mashed potatoes. I made my mother's stuffing/dressing, a salad, and cheesecake. Everyone made a little something and we had a ton of food...just the way I like my holidays to be.

Life really is wonderful. Sure it can be difficult and hard and confusing at times, but all in all, with family, friends, and some food on the table - life is a beautiful blessing.

I love my husband. I love my little Livy. And I appreciate the Thanksgiving holiday that reminds me to stop and notice all the many things to be grateful for.

Hope all your Thanksgivings were as good as ours.

5 Months!!!

2011-12-02T11:51:00.000-08:00

"This is why you've lost viewers, and your ratings have gone down, Robin. Our blog is now just a baby blog." Someone, who shall remain nameless, but who is a male adult who sleeps next to me at night, said this to me just a minute ago. I guess he's sensitive to those who frequent our blog and might be sick of seeing our daughter's face.

All I can say is, "What...a dork." First, I started a blog in part to document my life. And like it or not, my life is my daughter these days.

Second, some of you viewers are interested in our little Livy, because you are an Aunt or Grandma or baby lover. And I couldn't miss a blog post marking our 5 month old Alivia and disappoint those viewers.

And lastly, I can't resist this face. It consumes my affection and attention. And I will have to do these monthly posts until she is one year old...and then y'all will get a break.

So at 5 months, Alivia has mastered purposefully rolling over from her back to her stomach. As a result, we have found her sleeping on her stomach when we check in on her. She is catlike in her obsession with scratching all surfaces within reach of her small hands. I have been on top of cutting her nails as a result - man those thin nails grow like crazy and hurt more than they should.

She is happiest in social settings. Seriously, we were at the airport the other day and she was smiling from ear to ear the entire time. People always comment on her disposition - and big eyes. I over heard a lady say to another passenger, "look at that baby, she is smiling at nothing."

Alivia had her first cold this past week. Colds suck. It made her spit up and wake up in the middle of the night.

The sad news is that Alivia now often wakes up crying from naps. Gone are the days of walking in on her awake and happy (except for in the mornings, where she still wakes up happy and content). Also, Alivia is getting more demanding...she wants to be social with me when I want to clean or cook or blog or watch TV. She can be so insensitive to my need to waste time! Just Kidding. I don't cook.

I could go on...but I'm sensitive to ya'll. My "queen of the world" (what I always tell her) at 5 months.

Trying on a Christmas Dress

Wearing clean laundry

Enjoying the outdoors

Being all prim and proper

Matching so well (thanks Shaunna!)

Getting ready for bed (No, she doesn't wear the bow to bed, she was trying on her new bow from aunt Brooke)

Fakesgiving

2011-11-30T01:48:00.001-08:00

Last Sunday before we left for Utah for Thanksgiving, my mom had the family over for a turkey dinner Fakesgiving. They are remodeling their house right now and live in a one bedroom apartment. I never thought they'd handle apartment living as well as they do, nor did I think they could fit all of us in so tight a space - but we all fit around the table. Brooke and her family came, even though she had just given birth days earlier. It was a fun time, but we missed Marci and baby Rockford who had a early flight up to Idaho.

Cody's rolls.

Mama's little Turkey.

Family of Three.

The rest of the gang.

Toasting I don't think is very common these days outside of weddings and graduation celebrations and such, but the Bendheim family toasts on. Whether a family get together, or Thanksgiving, or in this photo...to give Brooke props for coming to dinner soon after delivery...Bendheim folk can find a reason to raise a glass.

4 kids...

2011-11-29T14:06:00.000-08:00

I was raised in a family with 4 kids. I always wanted my mom to have 5, after all, it seemed like all the other families in our church congregation had 5 (Days, Claytons, Grahams) and I felt like we needed to match their number. For a long time I felt like the Bendheims weren't as equal or cool because there was only four of us.

Well, as my sister says, 3 is the new 4 and 4 is the new 5. And now that I am older and more aware, I have realized that 4 kids is A LOT of work. Shoot, one kid is a lot of work. And I know that 4 kids was a perfect fit for our Bendheim family.

I personally go back and forth on this issue with Cody. He wants 4. I feel like I would be content with 3. Especially considering my body is still punishing me for traumatizing it with child birth. Don't even get me started on my recovery!

Well, my sister - the rock star - just had baby #4! I'm super impressed that she's grown 4 babies, birthed 4 babies, and is a mom to 4 kids. Crazy! And my new nephew is as cute as can be. And he better be, if he wants to fit in with his siblings.

Meet Hunter John Davis. 11.18.11 weighing 6 lbs. 6 oz. and 19.5 inches long.

Congratulations Davis Family! P.S. better pictures can be seen on my sister's blog.

It's time for you to go to bed Cody...

2011-11-25T23:04:00.000-08:00

I lost my eye liner make-up brush at my in-laws in September. Connie couldn't find it after we left, and so while I'm up here for Thanksgiving, I thought I'd search again the bathroom. I was searching the cupboards and moving around items to find it. Just as I was moving a box of cards around (and possibly glancing at them) so that I could see if the missing brush was behind them, Cody comes in and says, "Robin it's not in the cards." (Laughing...trying to get me to "get the joke") "Robin, you are not going to find that brush, it's just not in the cards."

As I type this Cody says, "Robin, no one is going to think that this is funny."

But that is my point. The "joke" is cheesy and dumb and was hardly worth the breath it took for him to make it in the first place. But Cody has some how found three separate audiences with which to share the stupid cheesy joke. Just 20 minutes ago he was laughing so hard he could barely make the punch line of "Robin, it's not in the cards."

Oh. my. gosh. Just when I was going to yell, "Someone save me!" Connie told Cody it was time for him to go to bed.

Family Togetherness...

2011-11-21T02:34:00.000-08:00

Our little family of three is so fun. We are a family of happy people who love to eat. We are a family of light eyed people. We are a family of TV watchers. But the sad truth is we are also a family of balding people. Cody's losing his hair. He knows it. No further statement is neccessary.

My hair is falling out in handfuls thanks to hormone stuff I guess. Seriously. It's amazing how much hair I gather in one day!

And my little Livy. The baby I birthed only 4 short months ago had a full head of hair. She's the saddest case of all. Don't get me wrong, she's a super cute little peanut in spite of it all, but just look at the situation we're in!

Before:

Now:

Logan, UT

2011-11-21T01:51:00.000-08:00

I have my first flight tomorrow. I'm getting all ready to bundle up in the snow for Thanksgiving!

Grandma - Here I come!!!!!!!

Boo!!!

2011-11-15T02:16:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween!!!

Here is our baby girl being all orange and black throughout Halloween week.

And here is our little Monkey. The cutest little Monkey that ever did exist.

Cody and I were Zookeepers of course, well I was lead zookeeper and Cody was the primate expert. We had an extended family Bendheim party at my cousin Jennifer's house and we won best costume. Well, we might have won the award by default because Marci and Redge had already left.

Here is the evil family...deviled egg, devil's food cake, and bloody Mary.

This is my hot Aunt Sue.

This is my Aunt Candy and Aunt Diane

This is the host, Jennifer, with Rockford and a changed Alivia

On Halloween night, my family gathered at Brooke's for some fun. It was so sad, but Cody was sick with the stomach flu and had to miss the party.

Tanner and Margot were Mexican Wrestlers - How awesome do they look?!

Brooke's kiddos were Peter Pan, Hook, and Tinker Bell!

4 Months Old!!

2011-11-14T02:23:00.000-08:00

Alivia was 4 months on 10-28-11! At her 4 month check up, she was 50 percentile for weight (13.1 pounds) and height (24.5 inches). She is a happy baby who loves to sleep. She regularly sleeps 11 hours straight at night. And she rarely cries when she wakes up in the morning. We usually check on her in the morning to find her already awake, and smiling at the ceiling. After such a long nights sleep, you'd think she'd be crying for some food...but she's just too happy in the mornings to cry.

Alivia laughed for the first time on 10-7-11, but hasn't made a habit of it. She is easy to smile and slow to laugh. And her laugh always seems cut off. We'll have to post a video to demonstrate. But it's like she gets going on a laugh and stops at the peak of a giggle.

Alivia loves to talk, and actually said Hi, unintentionally and unaware, the other day. It sounded so exact and creepy coming from a 4 month old. When she complains, it sounds like she is saying mama...but again, its just an unintentional thing of course. I know mama is a common sound, but I like thinking she just wants her mama when she's sad.

Livy still loves her swing. She's never really taken to her bouncer. She enjoys her play mat more and more now that she can actually grab at the toys. She talks to them like she's telling them a story.

Alivia is a content baby as long as she is being entertained. Self-entertainment happens, but is sometimes short lived. Given that Alivia is my first, it is super easy to pick her up when she is complaining. I'm sure if she were my second, Alivia would seem like a more difficult child because I'd be giving her less attention. Regardless, I know that she is still an easy baby and I am super grateful to have such an even tempered daughter.

Alivia loves going out to eat. She requires no attention from us and is totally entertained by the noises and new environment in a restaurant. She is pretty entertained on errands, but not as much as in a restaurant. She must be destined to like dining out as much as I do.

I've come to terms with the fact that my daughter is going to grow older and bigger. I've succumbed. And since I wrote this blog post, she has changed so much! Good thing I love this girl at all her stages.

Catching Up: Here and There

2011-11-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

Here are some random photos.

Wearing another dress that was mine circa 1980.

She loves laying on our bed watching the fan overhead.

We thought we were so funny having her stand up in her crib like a big girl. She humored us initially, then she told us we were being stupid and to quit it.

She loves watching T.V. Daddy must of been watching something boring though.

MOM - TOO CLOSE! Zoom out a bit.

Much Better.

I love my bath time! I get one every single night because it is my routine and I love it so much.

Super tired!

All pink and brown dots...thanks grandma for making the blanket!

Mama's best girl!

Example of bad (Huge!) accessorizing...

Now that's much better.

Sleeping Beauty

Wet hand...she has her fingers in her mouth a lot, but she doesn't suck them, she just chews on them a bit.

Oh man. You can't blackmail me with these photos if I've already shared them. So there.

Where did this little one go?!

The family of three.

Is it just me, or does Alivia look really scared of me in that last photo?

Catching Up: 2 Years!!

2011-11-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

I've spent the last two years married to my best friend. To celebrate, Cody surprised me with a weekend away. He coordinated Alivia's care with the grandparents and booked our room unbeknownst to me. This is what he left on the counter top to inform me of the getaway. This and a single garden rose.

We had a great time together...but we were sure happy to see our little Livy when we got back!

Saturday started off with lunch at Lake Arrowhead at The Belgian Waffle Works overlooking the water. I haven't been here since I was a kid and it is better than I remember (if that's possible). It was beautiful in the fall colors. The village had a cute pumpkin patch and Oktoberfest was going on at the village center stage.

We then headed over to Big Bear Lake, where we stayed the night. We had a jacuzzi in our room and the hotel was close to Big Bear Village. I had researched restaurants on Yelp, only to discover that the restaurant I had selected for dinner was closed for two weeks for "fall break". What a bust! Instead, we had Indian food which was a good fit for us.

Here is our breakfast the following morning. Cody's pancakes were giant.

Catching Up: Alivia 3 Months Old!

2011-11-01T00:35:00.000-07:00

I'm still obsessed. See? I'm doing picture overload. Again.

My little Livy is growing! At 3 months (9-28-11), she's making more noise and getting more active. She's still sleeping like a champ, and as you can see in some of the photos, she is obsessed with her hands. She spits out her pacifier all the time in order to put both fists in her mouth. It kind of drives me nuts because she has more saliva on her clothes and hands, is getting worse skin as a result of the spitty mess, and I want her to sooth with a pacifier, not her fingers.

Her favorite friends: Hanging Animals from Play mat. Hands. Pacifier. Me. Dad. Mirror. Swing.

Catching Up: Utah trip and air head move of the year!

2011-10-30T00:47:00.000-07:00

My cousin Ali got married in Park City, on the mountain, in September, and it was beautiful! The guests got to ride the chair lift up and the alpine slides down (except Alivia and me. We had our thrills off roading up and down the hill in a suburban without a car seat).

After the wedding in Park City, Cody and I got to spend a week in Logan, UT with The Orvins. We had another wedding reception for my dear friend Frances the following weekend, so it was a good excuse to see Grandma and Grandpa Orvin and the rest of the gang. We had a great time going out to eat, shopping, playing games, and we even made it up to Idaho Falls to visit my Aunt Becky and Uncle Jim - as well as my cousin Jennifer's family. Here are a few randoms...

enjoying grandpa

vegetable gone wild!

loving aunt jana's arms

cousins!

On Saturday, we had to leave Logan and head back down to attend my friend, Frances' reception in the Salt Lake area. I was super excited to go and see Frances and meet her husband and introduce them to Alivia and so forth. We were getting ready to go and I went to my suitcase to try and find Frances' reception card with the location information. As I glanced at the card -I took a big gulp, gasped for air, and raced upstairs to tell Cody the awful news. Turns out the reception for Frances was the night before on FRIDAY!!! I panicked and raced to call Frances hoping she would be in town for another day or two so I could go down to Salt Lake and spend some time with her. I got her on the phone only to learn that she was flying out that afternoon. I was so sad. No not sad...more like devastated, sickened.

Hopeful, we packed in a hurry and tried to meet up with her at the airport, but because of traffic, and the distance between Logan and SLC airport, we didn't make it in time. In tears and really quite PISSED OFF at myself and the world, Cody asked what he could do to make the situation better. I said, "the only way to fix this situation and make it better is to have a time machine. Do you have one? No. Can you get one? No. Why? Because they don't exist. Well, not outside Hollywood anyway."

And missing Frances' wedding by a day, my friends, is in the running for "Airhead Move of the Year." Here is a little of what I missed :(

And here is the outfit Alivia's was going to wear to the reception. We were trying it on that morning to make sure she looked super cute in it. What a waste. A sad, embarrassing, stupid waste! (Connie thinks that if she closes her eyes, I won't take her picture. Clearly I still will...muah, ha, ha).

We did however get to see our friend Derek. We grabbed lunch and enjoyed catching up.

See you again at Thanksgiving Utah!!!

Catching Up: A name and a blessing...

2011-10-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

Alivia Pearl was blessed over labor day weekend. It was such a great weekend! The weather was great, we had family visiting from Arizona, Utah and Montana for the occasion, and Cody really did a thoughtful job. Here is our sweetheart in her dress, which also happens to be the dress I was blessed in 31 years ago. She really didn't feel like taking pictures after church since she was starving, but I wanted to take pictures of her in her dress and then change her before she ate. So, needless to say we didn't capture Alivia at her best, but here are the best of what we got, minus the first picture to illustrate her attitude while we snapped away!

Cody said the bonnet made her look too old fashion. He kept saying that day, "Ok Alivia. It's time to go churn some butter."

Here are all the nice people who came for the blessing...minus my brother Redge and my Aunt Debbie and Uncle Redge Henn who had to leave before pictures.

Afterward we had a great, low key lunch at our new condo. Everyone really helped me out and Cody was nice enough to go get the flowers late Saturday night when I was complaining about how being frugile makes for a really bare and ugly table scape.

Catching Up: I'm an aunt again!

2011-10-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

Let me proudly introduce Rockford Redge Bendheim...my newest nephew born 8.24.2011.

Remember when I set my brother up with my friend and they actually dated and then they actually got married? Well, folks, they've procreated! Rocket (as I've been calling him) is a cute little squirt, with the most pleasant cry you've ever heard. Alivia really likes him too...she smiles at him and talks to him. I love that Marci and I are enjoying new motherhood together. Soon to join the family - Brooke's little guy (#4!) due at the end of November. It's raining babies in the Bendheim family!

Catching Up: Happy 4th!

2011-10-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

Seeing as I was not feeling my best and Alivia was just shy of 1 week old, our 4th plans were very chill this year. Brooke had the family over for swimming and a BBQ. I spent my time on the couch with a very soar who-who and bum-bum.

Cody's mom flew into town that day and she got to meet her 22nd grandbaby! I was worried that Connie wouldn't think Alivia was anything too special, being her 22nd and all, but my worries were all for not. She adores Alivia and Alivia adores her. And when it was time for Connie to go home after a week long visit, we all had a tear seeing her go.

Catching Up: I'm 31!!

2011-10-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I'm 31. When did that happen?! I thought I'd be a mom by 24, for sure, but that didn't happen. And this year, I really thought I'd be a mom before my 31st birthday. I was always planning on Alivia coming early so Cody and I celebrated my birthday early just in case I was in the hospital on my birthday. And the closer we got to my birthday the more nervous I was that Alivia would make her debut on June 21st, my actual birth date. Call me selfish and childish, but I really didn't want Alivia to be born on MY day. I really like the spotlight on my birthday. And Alivia deserved her own day too.

Luckily, Alivia came a week after my birthday, but that meant that I didn't become a mom until I was 31 (CRAZY - and a far cry from 24).

Here are pictures of the very pregnant Robin at Cheesecake Factory for a birthday celebration.

Catching Up: California Baby Showers

2011-10-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

Do you realize how nice it is to have people throw you a shower? They are a lot of work. The inviting, shopping (and $), cooking, cleaning, wrapping, welcoming guests, etc...all take time and effort. I'm so grateful to those women who showered Baby Alivia!

I had a friend's shower hosted by Lori, Ali, Brooke, and Marci. I forgot my camera...but here are some I stole from my sister's blog. Notice the amazing decorations. Lori picked out really cute invitations!

My Aunt Candy always throws amazing parties and she gave Marci (sister-in-law) and me a combined baby shower for family.

I was so spoiled!

J-E-LL-O: Pudding Face

2011-10-05T23:55:00.001-07:00

Alivia getting her pudding face on about 1.5 months ago.

Catching Up: Opening the envelope...

2011-10-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

I'm back posting...all the way back to April.

As many of you know, Cody and I didn't find out the gender of our baby at the traditional 20 week ultrasound. We waited, and waited, and waited. And people were bugged, confused, and annoyed at our waiting. But then the time arrived when we didn't want to wait any longer. We lasted 2.5 months with the concealed envelope containing our baby's gender ultrasound picture before we opened it in April.

The way we announced the gender to grandma and grandpa Orvin was this: sending these cute bottles and instructions in the mail.

The way we announced the gender to grammy and bop Bendheim was this: gifting these frames to my mother on her birthday (with the information inside).

My mother instantly started calling our baby girl Orvina because we didn't have Alivia's name until she was born.

We were shocked when we opened the envelope because for so long we were convinced we were having a boy. It was an adjustment to begin to think of this baby as a girl. My reaction was the typical hormonal tears. We love our baby girl!

Confessions

2011-09-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

Confession #1. I pause my TV all the time when I'm embarrassed on behalf of a TV character. Sometimes it takes me a good 5 minutes to work up the strength to watch the rest of an awkward scene in an episode. I could never watch "Blind Date" because it was chuck full of embarrassing moments and "The Bachelor" takes me forever to get through with all the awkward moments and my ensuing necessary pauses. Well, it just so happened that I was watching "Up all Night" on my DVR and had to pause it, play a game of solitaire, check facebook, and then I could resume watching. I suppose I need distance from the awkwardness, time to tell myself I'm ridiculous and that this is just make believe story-telling. After all, I. Am. An. Adult. Empathy was a gift of mine in therapy, but it is something that gets annoying when I'm watching TV!

Confession #2. I've always thought I was a bit funny. Not hilarious mind you, just funny. And I realize that my humor is often unintentional, often stemming from something I didn't mean to say (like using "it's a doggy dog world" in lieu of "it's a dog eat dog world") or stemming from something I meant to say but didn't realize it would be funny (i.e. saying something wildly inappropriate for the setting, like the word nipple in church, Relief Society). Well, here's my confession: my daughter thinks I'm funny, just not laugh out loud funny. And it hurts my self-esteem. I get smiles the size of Texas and coos and noises, but darn it, I never get a chuckle. Sure she's only 3 months, and laughs might be around the bend, but my self-image is being damaged while I wait.

Confession #3. I'm purposely trying to stunt Alivia's development. I've given her little tummy time because I worry she'll roll over and learn to crawl and grow up too fast. I know I have to do better at aiding her development, but I want my baby to be my baby forever. She makes parenting her easy. She is a good and happy baby. And if I could, I would keep her little forever, to snuggle and smile and be in my arms. But I can't. Rolling over and every thing that comes along with it are knocking at our door. And I have to comply. And I'm bitter about that point. (Cody's the bad guy who sneaks in tummy time so she's not developmentally delayed)

Confession #4. I have out of control gray hair. I should dye my hair every 4 weeks to keep the gray under control, but I stretch it to every 6-8 weeks. My husband does it, from a box, because we're cheap like that, and I have dark hair which takes to box coloring ok. I try to tell Cody how good he has it. Because lets be honest, most woman around here get their hair done professionally. I mean I even get mine cut at The Haircutters for $15! I repeat, Cody doesn't know how good he has it. Even in Arkansas, outside of Orange County CA, ladies get their "hair did" in professional salons.

Confession #5. I'm out of shape. Not the "I-just-had-a-baby" out of shape, but the "you-had-a-baby-3-months-ago-and-now-don't-have-any-excuse" out of shape. I ran this morning for the first time in almost a year(!), and it sucked bad. I felt like I was dying - literally. My head was either going to explode, my heart jump out of my chest, or my legs fall off. Instead, I stopped periodically to walk, because I feared we were in "I'm going to vomit if I don't walk" territory. Cody went with me and tried to coach me against walking. He thought I could power through it. But he was wrong. I was literally going to DIE!!!! I think he was disappointed honestly, but I was equally disappointed. Looks like it's going to be an uphill battle to get me to the point where I can run 30 minutes straight without hacking up a lung - or last night's dinner. Cody was nice enough to say that I ran for 25 minutes today, and that I did a good job, but he lied. If I'm lucky, I ran 15 minutes. Regardless, I have a long way to go before I feel good running. I used to kind of like it, but as it stands right now, I hate it!

Well, that should do it for now. Coming up: Alivia's blessing and our Utah trip.

First "Time Out"...

2011-09-16T09:51:00.000-07:00

Cody always tells Alivia she's going to get a spankin' if she doesn't finish her bottle. It makes me laugh every time I'm in the kitchen doing dishes and I overhear him say, "Alivia, come on - eat your dinner. You wanna a spankin'? You're gonna get a spankin' if you don't finish your bottle." The reason it's so funny is that it's obviously an absurd threat. He'd never. She's so innocent and precious.

Well, today Alivia didn't get a spankin', but she did get her first "time out." She was naughty and did this while we were enjoying some computer time...

OH! MY! NASTY!** The crazy part is she was wearing a diaper - which clearly malfunctioned - when this happened.

Oh the joys of motherhood...

I quickly stripped her down and cleaned her person, stripped myself, and went to work on the chair while she sat in time-out and thought about what she had done.

The time-out wasn't effective at all. She was smiling and generally happy through out it.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

So, in a last ditch effort to inflict guilt and remorse, I brought in the chair to show her the damage she had done. And I waited for her to break down in embarrassment and shame. She took one glance at the darn thing, looked at me, yawned, and gave me this look of indifference.

Clearly, this woman doesn't take me very seriously. Good thing I don't take myself very seriously either.

**If you thought the "nasty" was in reference to my stomach (which is accentuated in this picture due to me leaning over to take the skirt shot), you are misled. I was referencing the nasty diaper explosion. Confusing, I know. You'll be happy to note that I started walking and generally moving more this week. Exercise has always been my form of weight management...since I love food, sugar, and all things fattening. I'd be lying to y'all if I didn't admit that I miss my old fat body. This new fat body, although weighing less than the old fat one, go figure, is outright disappointing. The bread dough stomach and widened hips - no thank you! Now, if you'll excuse me. I need to go feed this new body of mine some breakfast.

Birthday Boy!

2011-09-15T14:24:00.000-07:00

My favorite man turned 32 on 9-2-11. He celebrated his birthday 3 times: on a date night with me, at a combined birthday celebration for my father and him with the Bendheims, and on his actual birth date with some visiting Orvins from out of town.

Cody deserves all celebrations we can throw his direction. He is such a hard worker. He is a fun and fabulous husband. And let's not forget that he is a devoted and doting daddy. Plus, the bigger and better his birthdays are, the more pressure he'll feel to make my birthdays all the bigger and better. Just kidding here folks. Well, kind of. Well, I'm just sayin'.

No pictures of our date night were taken, but it was our first date since little Livy was born! I did remember to bring my camera to the Bendheim dinner celebration at my sister's. Somehow my camera always gets used as an entertainment form for the nieces and nephews though, and these are the pictures I end up with...

Aren't they classic?!

On Cody's actual birthday, the day was beautiful so we went to Newport Beach where the waves were HUGE! We did more running away from the water than we did playing in it. The pictures don't do the waves justice. They really were scary big.

It was also little Livy's first trip to the beach. She enjoyed splashing in the waves and getting a sun tan. Well, maybe not so much. Give her a couple years. What she really did was a whole lot of this...

Afterward, we ate some dinner at Ruby's on the pier and ended the night with some games at our condo.

L

Happy happy birthday to my best friend.

Grief

2011-09-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

Today is 9-11-11. And my mind has been centered on three things: the terrorist attacks 10 years ago today, the beauty of gospel truth, and motherhood.

10 years ago today I was in Boston, at school, specifically the student union (GSU building), wondering why all my fellow students were packed around the various televisions. I remember being slow to walk over to the crowd to see what they were watching, and then being glued to the television for the next 24 hours straight. Boston was a crazy place to be at that time, given that the planes departed from Logan airport. And I remember mourning for lives that were taken too soon; lives of strangers, but fellow citizens of this great country.

My mind has also been pondering my new world of Motherhood. What an awesome responsibility I have...and I've thoroughly enjoyed this new role. I've always loved babies, but I had no idea how much I would love MY baby. "A Mother's Love" really does exist and is stronger than I ever imagined. I have known of three infant deaths that have occurred within the last month...and I'm overwhelmed by the grief these women must feel. Every time I read their blog or facebook posts or hear their comments in church, my heart hurts for them. I know that being a mother to a precious baby, whether for a day, or two weeks, or 7 months is always an enormous blessing, but man, to have it last for only that long - now that is a hard thing to accept. I haven't attended any of these babies funerals because I'm a mess every time I think of these mothers' pain. I couldn't begin to witness their grief with any amount of composure. And truth be told, I have guilt knowing that I have a healthy girl to cuddle and hold. And I know it's not fair that I live in joy with Alivia while they live in waves of overwhelming grief.

Thank goodness I'm a member of a church which teaches about the Savior's atonement, His tender mercies, and watchful eye. It is so good to know that families are eternal...and when our perspectives are short sighted, and we can't be comforted by the eternal nature of our families because we are alive here and now and are missing those that aren't, He is here, now, ready to encircle us in His love and arms. He is "a man acquainted with grief" and a "prince of peace." And although I can only imagine the pain of those families who are mourning those lost 10 years ago today or for those mothers who find themselves burying a child, I know that He knows that pain. He can provide comfort, peace, love, and moments of relief. Moments when the pain, the grieving, is lifted.

OC FAIR

2011-08-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

What a difference two years can make! Note the changes...

My apologies to Cody, Alivia, and my better looking face for making the last picture particularly less attractive. Note to self: never, never lean back your head for a photo. Never. Especially when you have lingering baby fat.

2 Months!!

2011-08-23T16:25:00.001-07:00

Yes - time flies when you are having fun with a sweet little one. Our baby girl is 2 months old today (ok, just 8 weeks today and 2 months on the 28th)! These photos were taken on Sunday. She's wearing a dress that her Aunt Brooke and I used to wear when we were her size.

Can you tell I'm obsessed? I can't narrow down the pictures...she's just too cute!

Stats: 10 pounds 14 ounces
22 3/4 inches

I could just kiss her face right off - but I can't because I'm sick :( And I need to get healthy fast because my brother Redge and sister-in-law Marci are in the hospital as we speak - about to have their first...and I'll be darned if I don't go and see the little peanut in the hospital. Little Livy will look so big next to him.

Dance Moms

2011-08-22T23:53:00.000-07:00

Dance Moms has been a great TV find for the summer. I love watching dance performances - and crazy people. And this show has it all.

I was thinking about how extreme these moms can be about their daughter's competing and winning. And after some thought, I've concluded that I want my children to be mediocre. Well, the word mediocre doesn't sound very nice. Let's just say I want them to be "normal."

I don't want Alivia to be famous. I don't want her to be the President of the U.S. of A. I don't want her to be the best tennis player or smartest kid in the state. Cody and I agree that if we could choose where our children excel, we choose kindness or the like. Areas that don't warrant much praise or pride or attention, but are of much more importance.

Don't worry, I don't plan on squandering my daughter's talents, but I know - I KNOW - I could never become like those moms on Dance Moms.

Sneak Peak

2011-08-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

Someone was a model today...

That first picture is just so Alivia. She is extremely pensive: always evaluating and sizing people up (or in this instance - trying to figure out the camera and clicking noise).

I swim!

2011-08-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

Alivia Pearl went swimming for the first time yesterday. Ok, maybe she didn't swim per se, but she did go in the pool with her daddy. No swimming suit, just a swim diaper and a hat that was three sizes too big - but she looked too cute just the same. She is a water baby. Bath time is her favorite time of the day.

Google

2011-08-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

Cody just admitted to searching on google, while he was in Arkansas a week or two ago, "why do I love my child so much?".

So funny. But does this not melt your heart as it does mine?

Being a parent to Alivia is so rewarding. Cody just loves his little girl and was missing her like crazy. And I suppose he wanted to gain some understanding on how he could love such a tiny human he's only known for a month and a half.

The bond I feel with Alivia is so intense and the love so immense, it's unbelievable. Sometimes it is hard to understand how I could love so deeply someone who doesn't talk to me, laugh with me, and such. But I do. Cody does. And that's all that matters.

Early Conversations

2011-08-06T22:34:00.001-07:00

So my daughter and I had the following conversation today...

Mom: Hi honey. Can MaMa take a picture?

Alivia: No mom, you take way too many pictures!

Mom: Please! Please! Please!

Alivia: Fine...just give me a minute...

Alivia: I have to stretch...

Alivia: Not yet...

Mom: Honey, come on...

Alivia: O.K., just give me my paci and take the dang picture.

And there you have it. She's already showing me attitude!

Out of This World

2011-08-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

The t.v. show "Out of This World" was awesome. I didn't watch it every week, but I did watch it every now and then. The show's main character was a half alien, half human teenage girl who could stop time by connecting her two index fingers. And since my baby Alivia is growing and changing before my very eyes...I wish I could acquire those alien powers so that I could stop time and enjoy Alivia's newborness for as long as I wished.

Alivia has hit her one month mark. That's right folks. We are rocking the feeding, changing diapers, burping, and keeping a tiny human alive thing. At her doctor's appointment this past week, my little Livy was the following:

Weight: 9.5 pounds (50%)
Height: 21.5 inches (75%)

She's still cute and small and precious...but she's getting bigger and more alert and I'm watching time fly. Cody says I can have another newborn when Alivia is an adorable two year old...but I don't want another one...I want her...as a newborn...again and again and again. Too bad that's not possible.

Well, maybe it is. Is cloning legal yet? Now I'm thinking!

Child Birth

2011-07-25T18:38:00.000-07:00

Child birth is an absolute trip. Four weeks ago today (6/27/11), I was dying at this very minute. I wasn't thinking "get this baby outside of me!" or "I can't wait to hold my little baby girl!", because I wasn't really thinking at all. I was just breathing in and breathing out. It wasn't until 7:30 pm when a nice doctor man came into my room and put happy juice into my spine. And then I starting thinking again.

Let me start from the beginning. Four Monday's ago I went into Dr. Clayton's office for a routine appointment. I had been on bed rest since Thursday because after some monitoring at the hospital, they determined my blood pressure was too high for activity, but not high enough for induction. And at Monday's appointment, my blood pressure was again high. Too high. And Dr. C. decided to admit me for induction at the hospital. He warned me that he didn't have high expectations for a vaginal delivery, since my cervix was as hard as a rock, I was still only 1 cm dilated as I had been for weeks, and baby Alivia's head, although facing down, was very high.

The hospital was extremely busy. In fact, Cody and I got the last room on the labor and delivery floor. Laboring women admitted after me were going to have to give birth in semi-private, shared rooms. And there is nothing fun about giving birth in unison with a stranger. Once in the room, my nurse started monitoring my contractions. Unfortunately, I was ineligible for the drug Dr. C. wanted to start me on to soften my cervix, because I was contracting...like 2-3 contractions every 10 minutes...and the nurse said they were good sized contractions. I was shocked since I couldn't feel them and they didn't seem to be doing much of anything considering I was only 1 cm dilated.

So after some monitoring, around 1 pm I had my water broken and was started on Pitocin. Everything started off great. The on call doctor was able to break my water even though Alivia was very high and the Pitocin was working because I started to feel the contractions and they felt like all those wonderful menstrual cramps I felt throughout my years. Around 3 pm, my nurse checked my progress and discovered I had dialted to a 3!

I was so pleased with myself, that my body was responding well to the pitocin. My nurse was pleased too and Cody was excited because during the cervix exam, my nurse pushed Alivia's head around and made tons of fluid gush out of me. He was fascinated, and it was obvious at this point that Cody was no squeamish man and was going to love everything about the process of child birth.

After the cervix exam, my nurse offered me an epidural, which I had said was part of my birth plan, but I told the nurse that I probably wouldn't want one for awhile. I estimated wanting one around 6:15 pm. Cody and the nurse laughed at my random time estimation, but I just wanted to give myself more exposure to the pain and discomfort of contractions. Up until the offer, I had only felt heavy period cramping, and I didn't want to cheat myself of knowing what true labor feels like.

I was the same way about getting a traffic ticket and having to go to traffic school. Everyone who's been to traffic school commiserates about how awfully boring it is. And the silver lining to getting my one and only traffic violation was that I too could now go to traffic school and participate in conversations about the dumb, stupid, wasted Saturday spent at traffic school. And I wanted to know what labor pains really felt like before I opted to get rid of them if for no other reason than to participate in future discussions about how awful contractions feel.

And come 5 or 5:30 pm, I was feeling strong contractions...the kind you can't think through...the kind that you completely ignore conversation around you because all you can do is live through the next couple of seconds...the kind that you just breath in and breath out and breath in harder and breath out the pain. Those type of strong contractions. And I knew I was a silly and stupid woman for choosing some arbitrary time such as 6:15 pm for my epidural.

Plus, the nurses were saying that I needed to start Magnesium, an all together downer drug that is meant to prevent seizures due to high blood pressure, and that drug comes with its own fun bag of symptoms that I knew I couldn't endure while also experiencing the pains of contractions (i.e. nausea, hot flashes, thirst, etc.). I was also told that Dr. C. wanted an internal contraction and baby heart rate monitor inserted, as well as a catheter, and all this sounded much better with an epidural in place than without one.

Unfortunately, nurses switched and I had Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb as my nurses for the next hour and a half. My lovely nurse Sara, who had been with me since I was admitted, had to deliver another patient, and my new nurse combo (a nurse in training and her trainer), were more interested in nurse education than patient assistance. And by the time I requested my epidural, the new nurses moved like molasses to meet my request. And by the time they did request the anesthesiologist, he was helping another patient and then had a C-section...so I was third in line.

At 5:30 pm, my "nurse in training" checked me and said I was dilated to 5 cm. I felt so proud of my body. It was reacting exactly as it should to the medication. By 6:30 pm I had the internal fetal heart rate monitor inserted and we all decided to wait for the epidural to do the catheter, internal contraction monitor, and administration of the Magnesium drip.

At 7:30 I was pinching Cody through the contractions...breathing heavy...and so glad to have Mr. Wonderful Pain Reliever Anesthesiologist Man enter the room. I didn't hear most of his instructions...I just knew I had to stay still. And then I felt a sting in my back, hot and cold injections, an electric shock down my back and leg, and then R. E. L. I. E. F! First on my left side...then on my right. And I said bye-bye to my contraction pain.

And hello to the Magnesium. It really wasn't too bad aside from the thirst. And the vomiting.

This is what R.E.L.I.E.F. looks like:

My next cervix check was at 10 pm and to every one's shock I was 10 cm dilated and my cervix was thin and soft. My nurse let me chill for another 45 minutes and let my contractions do some work for me.

And then it was pushing time. And I pushed for 3 hours. Which was a lot longer than I or the nurse or anyone really expected. I thought that since my body had responded so brilliantly to the pitocin and dilated like a champ, that my body would squeeze out Alivia in record time. But I was dooped. As time passed, I felt like Alivia was never going to come out. And I was exhausted. I felt like I was doing my best work out; like the kind of run where you push yourself too hard for too long and can't catch your breath and end up throwing up on the side of the road. That type of a work out - times ten.

For starters, I was super hot and winded. Then I was thirsty, but thanks to the magnesium, I was not permitted to drink. And I was nauseated as all get out. Luckily, I was able to have ice cold wash clothes on my forehead, and Cody did a great job of administering the cloths in between pushes. Cody also did a stellar job at holding my legs during pushes and being very quiet. The nurse did all the coaching and counting during pushes. By 2 hours of pushing I was beat and my patience for the elongated counting my nurse was doing was wearing thin. Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved my nurse Kathleen, and have become friends with her on facebook (no joke, she requested me), but her counting during pushes was completely off. She would start a count like this, "ok robin. big breath in. now hold it. push, push...harder, harder. good. push through your bum. harder. come on. and 3 - 4 - 5 - 6...". And I died holding my breath that long. She started at 3 every time when she should have started at 9 and she counted SLOW. And since I loved my nurse who I was clearly becoming impatient with, I displaced my anger and impatience toward my blood pressure band which would spontaneously take a blood pressure reading at the most annoying times.

My face felt like it was going to explode and all the pushing my brains out of "my bum" made me so winded and nauseous that I vomited, at least 8 times. And when she finally called Dr. C. and he arrived, I was spent and discouraged at what he said.

Turns out I had been pushing for the last 45 minutes with no progress. Alivia's head had been stuck in the same position. So all that pushing and vomiting and counting and sweat was for nothing. So they called in more nurses. And Dr. C. got out the vacuum and told me it was up to me to push her out...that no one could do it for me. And that I needed to push harder and stronger to get her out. And that if I couldn't get her out with the vacuum in 3 contractions, then I'd need to go in for a c-section. I took in everything he said, but I. was. Beat. Discouraged. Exhausted. Nauseous. Thirsty. HOT. And confused.

I had been pushing harder and stronger from the very beginning, and I didn't know how to do any better than I was doing. And the instructions to "push like a you're having a bowel movement" weren't so helpful, considering I've never pushed out a bowel movement in the reclined position. And before all y'all who don't believe in epidurals go all natural on me by saying it was probably the epidural that was making my pushes ineffective, let me just say that I could feel the pressure of the baby and of my contractions. My epidural was working exactly the way the doctors want them to, by taking away the shooting pain, but maintaining the feeling of pressure. So my supposed lack-luster pushes and confusion on how to push harder and stronger, weren't to be blamed on my epidural. I knew when to push and where to push, but I just didn't know how to do it any differently than I had been doing it the past 3 hours.

But now Dr. C. stepped in. He stood up pulling on Alivia's vacuum suctioned head to help me get her out. He cut me every which way to try to make her path larger. And after 5 contractions with 4 long pushes per contraction, I felt a head come out of me. Our baby girl was born at 2:02 am weighing in at 7 pounds 9 ounces and 19 inches long.

Her chord was wrapped around her neck twice and tight, but I had been lowered (blood pressure caution) so I couldn't see a thing. Dr. C. examined the damage to my body while the pediatric nurse took Alivia to her warming station to wipe her down. I was torn and cut and Cody said you "couldn't tell what was what" in my nether region. Dr. C. said he goes by touch instead of sight sometimes while sewing...and Cody could see why.

So my recovery has been longer than some, considering all the cuts and ripping. For Alivia too, whose noggin had a lovely ring of scabs for two plus weeks where the vacuum had been suctioned on. But all in all, we are both healthy and whole. And we are just glad that pregnancy and child labor are in our past.

Things I want to remember: Getting 3 ice cubes as a reward for pushing hard (3 in 3 hours). Having our nurse Kathleen Murphy know my brother from high school. Having my absorbent pad changed with nearly with every push. Being oblivious to the nurses informing Dr. C. of baby Alivia's dropping heart rate. Being told that vomiting counts as pushing because it contracts your stomach muscles. Having my family, and some of my nurses, think it felt like the north pole in my room, but still feeling hot. Not screaming or crying once in the process of labor to the nurses surprise and praise, but telling Cody, "oh, you better expect a cry fest over something stupid in the next day or two...because the tears are just pint up right now." Then crying my eyes out in the middle of the following night when Alivia wouldn't feed and the nurse told me I had to supplement with a bottle. And the feeling of her head coming out...the calm feeling of "finally." Having my eyes closed for nearly 3 hours straight. Then one of the first things I see in three hours is not my beautiful baby girl but the placenta and thinking "flank steak." Seeing Cody smile from ear to ear while rocking our new daughter while I was being sewn up. And right before leaving the hospital being asked, "Is this your baby?" as protocol requires. And being able to say, "Of course, YES!".

Observations of Alivia:

Long Eye Lashes
Large Nail Beds and Fingers
Alert Baby
Looks older than a Newborn
Dark Hair
Perfect lips
Looks like Cody

Our first family photo:

My parents waited at the hospital until 2 am! I love how alert Alivia is in this photo:

Daddy's girl:

And some of Alivia's first photo shoot in the hospital taken by my sister:

And the morning we went home (photos taken by my mom). Check out my sleeping beauty waiting to be discharged:

And check out my HUGE BELLY!

Depends

2011-07-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

Is 8 hours a long time? Well, it can be or it can seem so minuscule. It all depends on your perspective and the situation. Consider this:

There are 24 hours in a day,

168 hours in a week,

731 in a month,

and 8766 in a year.

Now if I watched Storage Wars for 8 hours in a day...that would be a long time in front of the tube, but if the sun is only out for 8 hours in a day, then that day seems so minuscule. If I cleaned my house only 8 hours in a year, that would be just plain disgusting and not good enough, but if I spent 8 hours in a year pushing a baby outside of me, that would be just WAAAAAYYYYY to much time pushing.

Well, for a 3 week baby to sleep 8 hours at night without interruption, now that's a long time. And that's what Alivia did last night from 11 pm to 7 am. Then, after some nourishment, she continued to bless us parents by sleeping from 7:20ish to 11 am. That has been her longest stretch yet. She usually goes from 11 pm to 5:00 am, and we were impressed by that. But last night was an appreciated exception.

And to be completely honest, I missed her...because I love her...and because my boobs were exploding by the time she woke us up!

What's in a name?

2011-07-17T14:54:00.000-07:00

Deciding on our first born's name wasn't the easiest process. For starters, Cody suggested nasty crazy names (like the worst names you can think of, and I would list them, but I don't dare for fear of offending someone). And I, on the other hand, loved many, many names. We narrowed my list down to three names, but it wasn't until she was born that I looked at Cody and said, "and the name is?"

He responded with Alivia Pearl Orvin. And I couldn't have been happier with our final choice. I've liked the name Alivia since middle school, when I was introduced to it after meeting a pretentious girl with that name and spelling while vacationing in Hawaii. I couldn't tell you why, but the name has stuck with me ever since. Olivia would have looked better with Orvin, as I'm sure you've figured, but I like Alivia better. I just think a-livia sounds more feminine than o-livia (even though most people pronounce Olivia like it's spelt with an A). Plus, Orvin won't always be Alivia's last name (I hope). And I like the nickname Ali...as an option if she so chooses.

Pearl was Cody's grandma's name...not to mention June's birthstone. And Alivia was born in June. And I LOVE jewelry, especially classy pearls. And I love family. And Cody LOVED his grandma Pearl. The icing on the cake was religious references to pearls being of great worth. And the cherry on top of the icing was that Pearls come from nature...which kind of carries on the tradition of mine and my sister's names (Brooke and Robin). So Pearl was a perfect fit for us.

Our baby girl is sometimes called...

Alivia (of course)

Ali Pearl

Livy

Mama, Sissy, Baby Girl, Love or Woman

or...when we are tired, Caroline (the name of my niece)

when she is fussy, stinker.

or Cody calls her Bonquisha or Bony (because he's a weirdo)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Our baby girl is strong. The doctor in the hospital and in her follow-up appointment said she was and told her to stop showing off when she stood up and pushed him away during her week old examination.

She is a good sleeper. Cody says she gets it from me, but she sleeps for long stretches at night - like a 6 hour stretch and then a 5 hour stretch - and truth be told we usually wake her up to feed.

She stretches like crazy. Waking up is followed by a good 5 minutes of stretching (arching her back, extending her limbs, and grunting). It's adorable. Really.

She hates my boob. She is getting breast milk, but will only take it from a bottle. We still try to make her latch, but the second she does, she instantly starts making a sour face and then starts crying and breaks her latch. She pushes me away with her arms. And frankly, between you and me, I take it personally. If I remain adamant, she will just spit out my boob and instantly falls asleep. I think she is faking it...playing dead if you will...but all her tricks work and in the end she gets the bottle.

And that's it. I mean, Alivia's basically a typical newborn, but she's pretty extraordinary to us!

2 Weeks Old...

2011-07-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

Our baby Alivia is 2 weeks old today. She's as cute as ever. Cody and I find ourselves laughing and completely entertained at her facial expressions and uncontrolled limbs. Last week at her doctor's appointment she rocked the scale and the doctor's expectations. He said she could pass on a 2 week check up and that he'd just see us at her month check up.

1 week stats:

7 pounds 12 ounces (50 percentile)

20 and a half inches (75 percentile)

head circumference (75 percentile)

The height percentage will change with time, because let's be honest, the Bendheim and Orvin height genes aren't too impressive. And we were floored to see that she gained a pound in her first week (since she had gone from 7 pounds 9 ounces to 6 pounds 15 ounces before we were discharged at the hospital).

On a side note: Alivia Pearl pooped through her diaper today and onto mommy skirt. I didn't even care. THIS IS HUGE PEOPLE! One of my largest concerns about having a baby was the messes to my house and my person with spit up, urine, and poop. But how can you be upset at such a sleeping beauty?

Indescribable Love

2011-07-07T06:15:00.000-07:00

We have a new love...

Introducing

Alivia Pearl Orvin

Born 6 . 28 . 2011

7 pounds 9 ounces

19 inches long

Perfect and Precious and awful Pretty

Birth Story to come...

Home Sweat (and Sweet) Home

2011-06-17T20:19:00.000-07:00

As promised...here are some "before" and "after" photos of our condo. We are finally feeling settled. We still need to post some of the guest bathroom, front and back patio areas, and the rest of the master bedroom. But until then...these photos should hold you over :)

And a BIG shout out to our parents for ALL their help! (and it was a lot!)

Living Room Before:

After:

Living Room Before:

After (with Robin's pregnant belly):

Kitchen Before:

Kitchen After:

Kitchen Before:

Kitchen After:

Dining Area Before:

Dining Area After:

Nursery Before:

Nursery After (better pictures to come...you don't see the cute chandelier and the frames don't have pictures of baby yet):

Guest Room Before:

Guest Room After:

Master Bedroom Before:

Master Bedroom After:

Master Bathroom Before:

Master Bathroom After (new lighting not installed yet):

Half Bathroom Before:

Half Bathroom After (painted in Gaucamole):

My world - Upside down

2011-06-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

Cody and I have been living out of boxes and in filth for at least a month. We purchased a condo and closed escrow on May 2nd, and have been painting, cleaning, digging, weeding, shopping, moving, and hanging - all tasks I hate (well I do like, ok fine - love shopping...but these Lowes and Home Depot purchases aren't the kind of shopping I like). I think I've blogged about being a lazy lady in my heart and in practice...and no worries folks, I'm still that lazy girl. But since this condo will be my home for the next 3 to 5 years, I've been much more involved and active in the home improvement tasks than I or my doctor would like. I've been on an unknown labor deadline and things need to get done before my world is turned upside down. I certainly will need a nice home to adjust motherhood. Luckily, we have made some real progress thanks to lots of help.

Well, I'm 38 weeks as of yesterday. All along I was just trying to hold baby in until 25 weeks, because if Michelle Duggar can have a kid survive at that gestational age, so could I. And then I was trying to get the baby to 3 pounds. And then my goal was to make it to the mark when my niece Caroline was born. And now I'm just shocked that I'm 38 weeks. I guess I'm a "plan for the worst case and hope for the best" kind of girl...so I was planning on an early delivery all along.

My doctor says I'm boring though. He says everything looks good every appointment, but I can't help but have anxiety about what is to come. I know women give birth all over the world in crazy numbers daily. I also know that every human on this earth had to have been birthed at some point or another - and some to wimpier women than me. BUT - this primary fact barely eases my anxiety. Because lets face it people, pain is looming and possible complications can still be forthcoming. And why shouldn't they be looming for me when they happen to so many good people everyday.

Once I have this baby in my arms - I'm sure I'll worry about SIDS and other non-norm situations. And although I worry for these occurrences, I know, I know, that worrying doesn't help anything. Robin - the care free, who cares girl - still exists, until her mind wonders to labor and motherhood. And I hope that I laugh about my worries in time to come. But until then...I just trust that if something goes terribly wrong and there are complications, that A. I've planned for them and B. it's what is meant to be.

OK now...I feel a bit less anxious than I did before I wrote this post. I'll be sure to update this blog soon with condo "before" and "after" photos as well as this stinkin' cute nursery. Life has been crazy, its crazy that there is a baby ready to pop out of me, and it's even crazier that Cody and I are around the corner from real, legit parenthood.

Cody, btw, is as calm as humanly possible. He's such a rock star! Here are some more photos of yours truly. Lookin' large and well, large. The feet are now sausages. And I can only wear rubber flip flops. Strangers think they are my best friend too. My doctor says its because a pregnant woman embodies "hope." I think it's because people like the basketball look I've got goin' on. It makes them feel petite and small. Who knows. But lets just say that I can't run an errand without numerous people touching and conversing with me about everything baby. Good thing I don't have tactile issues.

36.5 Weeks

37.5 Weeks

38 Weeks

And the sausages...notice the indention caused by my rubber flip flops!

Leaving Arkansas...

2011-06-06T10:46:00.000-07:00

At the end of March, Cody and I made the long drive back to California. Our time in Arkansas had come to an end and the store, California Yogurt Company, was left in good hands. I was excited to leave and get settled back here in my home state, but I'd be a liar if I didn't admit a pain in me as I crossed over the state line from Arkansas to Texas. Arkansas is most beautiful in the Spring when we left. The drive through southern Arkansas was so breathtaking and then we crossed into Texas and I instantly missed all those trees I'd loved for the past year.

Everyone can admit that the summer and even winter in Arkansas is pretty nasty. The summers are too humid. You sweat and sweat and sweat. The winters are cold, but without all the constant pretty white snow to make the outdoors look good. There is just brown, dead grass staring at you through the window most winter days. Summer is green and lush to the eye and winter does have some snow, but both seasons are pretty undesirable. But, BUT(!), the fall and spring make up for those bad winter and summer days. The color from the blossoms on the trees and bushes, and the temperatures, and fall colors are just grand. Trust me on this point. They don't call it the natural state for nothing.

Plus, the people of Conway, AR are some of the friendliest you'll ever meet. Real southern manners. And I liked living in the bible belt, I love the religious climate and interest. And Conway is a college town times three which makes it awesome times three.

But it was time to leave and get settled in a condo before baby arrived. So we left and made our way back home to CA. But not without some drama and El Paso, TX time.

Drama: Before leaving Conway, our friend Kevin told me that my front tires were pretty worn. I kind of ignored his comment, knowing that all my tires were basically one year old and that two of which had been replaced in the past 2 months (thanks to bad drivers and a minor collision). So clearly, my tires shouldn't be bald. But, as we were planning on leaving El Paso after a lovely mini-visit, something (aka The Spirit) prompted me to check my front tire. I was stunned at what I discovered. My left front tire was completely bald. Like all the metal wires of the tire were protruding. And it looked like it could pop at any minute. Mind you that I had driven 14+ hours the previous day at 70-85 mph speeds. Talk about being protected on that drive! So after discovering this massive problem, Cody and I spent some extra time in El Paso buying a used tire and getting my alignment fixed by some very nice and helpful men. Good thing Cody speaks Spanish...and good thing El Paso is right on the border because the time and material was inexpensive! I kept thinking the whole day at how blessed I was to be inspired to check my tire. Who knows what kind of disaster can befall you when your tire blows at 80 mph with a truck not too far behind you.

El Paso: I am such a discoverer...I love walking around and experiencing new places. I'll admit that the natural landscape of El Paso is ugly desert - not the St. George or Phoenix type of desert - but the nasty, ugly type of desert found in far east side California. That being said, I loved the town of El Paso. It had a lot of Mexican charm and fun architecture. Plus, as I said earlier, it has nice, helpful, Spanish-speaking men.

Here are a few pictures of downtown El Paso. I hate that I didn't take a picture of the "barely there" tire:

She's a brick...

2011-06-01T11:18:00.000-07:00

HOUSE...

literally. I am. On Sunday a month ago, a lady at church said, "Oh, are you getting excited? Any day now, right?" To which I politely said, "No. Not even close. I still have two months."

At target about 9 weeks ago a lady said, "Oh, you look like you are registering for a baby. When are you due?" I said, "In late June." The lady looked stunned, "Are you having twins?" I replied, "No - there's just one big baby in there." To which she noded her head signifying she agreed.

These two interactions illustrate how awesome it is to be with child. People at church and on outings used to comment on how cute I was. Now I just get comments on how big I am. I must admit that I hate the transition from cute to big. I'm swollen and uncomfortable. My wedding ring no longer fits and my feet have looked real nasty big at times. I can't pick stuff up or lotion my legs anymore. I get tired so easily and I wonder how I can possibly last 4 more weeks.

My feet hurt a lot and the other day while buying stuff at Lowes for the condo, I sat right down on the floor of the lighting aisle to give them a break. It was either sit on the nasty dirty cement floor or start crying. Cody went to go check on something, and the next thing I hear is a motorized cart coming down my aisle. I look to get ready to move for the person and realize it is Cody who went to go get me one for the rest of the visit. At the time, I couldn't think of anything else he had done for me in the past as thoughtful as that. He saved me.

Backing up with the beep, beep, beep was a little embarrassing though. But who cares.

I'm ready to be done with pregnancy, but not ready for this baby to pop out of me. I think it's safe to say I'm a bit apprehensive about birthing a child, and then having to raise it. I've had enough nightmares about forgetting I have a child or forgetting I need to feed it that it's safe to say my confidence in my mothering skills is not quite stable yet. I get that the kid will cry so I don't have the opportunity to forget I'm a mother and have to feed, burp, change, and bathe it, but my nightmares seem so real.

Belly Shots Section (for you Shaunna):

I've tried to be good at taking pictures, but these are all I have. You still can see the progression. These pictures make me laugh, especially the picture with me in the striped shirt which is particularly unattractive. And the arched back I have doesn't make the belly look any smaller.

14 Weeks

20 weeks

22 weeks

28 weeks

30 weeks (My smile wasn't cooperating)

32 weeks

34 weeks

And our most recent shot from today at 36 weeks:

Where We started... Cody's Version

2011-05-20T23:49:00.000-07:00

After finishing her blog posts about our dating story, Robin pleaded with me for weeks to write my version, but I always had an excuse (managing two small businesses is my fallback excuse for everything, but somehow Robin doesn’t give that excuse much merit).

Alas, after so many futile attempts, she apparently gave up because she hasn’t mentioned it for a while. It could have something to do with being busy with moving back to CA, buying and remodeling a condo, all the while growing a baby. Or it could be that she just gave up.

Regardless of the reason, a five hour flight is a great time to document my version (rebuttal) of our story while also appeasing my cute pregnant wife.

It all started for me back in September 2009. I had just finished grad school and moved to Orange County to take a breather before beginning the job search. The first Sunday in the area, I went to Church and noticed this cute, dark curly haired girl welcoming all the new girls to the ward. Since it was my first time in the ward, everyone was new to me, but I distinctly remember noticing Robin that day.

The month of October and most of November were full of a long trip to Mexico followed by an even longer and agonizing bout with kidney stones which basically kept me a prisoner in my bedroom and far away from all the happenings in the ward and world.

Robin was in my same Single Adult FHE group, which met weekly, so I noticed her a few times at different activities. The first time I remember really noticing her as in “I think I really want to get to know this girl”, was at our apt at one activity. The activity was over and she was just hanging out with a few other girls. She went in my roommate’s room to look around. (I call it being nosy, Robin calls it being inquisitive). Afterwards she peeked in my room and saw that I had not yet purchased a bed and was just sleeping on a foam mattress on the ground, to which she scoffed and made some remark about my room being messy. She then went to the bathroom and said we needed to clean our bathroom because it was quite messy. (We had just cleaned it earlier that day in anticipation of this activity at our apt).

I remember thinking, this girl is pretty ballsy and confident to say these things to guys she hardly knows. The interesting thing was that it didn’t come across as annoying to me. I was actually intrigued by her.

That night we were looking at facebook and my roommate found her profile and started reading her posts and comments. We both thought she was quite witty and I remember looking through some of her pictures. I also remember seeing that she was 28, which really surprised me, as I had pegged her as 25 at the oldest. For some odd reason, the fact that she was older made me even more motivated to get to know her.

We saw each other at other functions, but only had words in passing until a few weeks later when we were at another activity at a nursing home. We were there to sing to the patients, but someone forgot to tell them we were coming, so they just put us in the gathering room and had us bust out in Christmas carols. It was awkward and we sounded terrible, but there was only 1 person listening, so I didn’t think too much about it. However, I did notice that Robin, in the middle of one of our songs just walked out. After we had finished our mini-concert, I asked her why she left and she simply said, “I just felt too awkward and couldn’t be there anymore”. I thought it was hilarious that she just left.

Later that night, a few of the people that went to the activity, went out to eat. This night was the first time that I actually learned a lot about Robin, and everything I learned, I liked.

I remember thinking that I really liked the way Robin answered questions and also how she formulated her questions. She was creative, smart, funny, sarcastic, and self-deprecating-all in a good way.

That night I remember thinking that there was something about this girl that made me want to know her better.

From there we proceed to the episode known as the scarf, which Robin documented well in her post. Just to reca: We were all shopping at Old Navy for a Sub for Santa family and she wore this scarf the whole time we were in the store, before putting it back right before we checked out (I didn’t know then, but this is a very common practice for Robin,). My roommate Derek, who by now knew that I could be sweet on this girl, was trying to find opportunities to get us together, so as we left Old Navy he suggested that I ride with Robin back to the house. I readily agreed and we had our first one on one alone time in the brief 10 minute trip. I felt completely at ease and comfortable in her presence.

I was leaving the next day for Christmas in Utah and New Years in Washington, DC. So I felt I had to make some sort of move to at least let her know that I was interested in her before being gone for 3 week. The following day, in the pouring rain, I drove back all the way across town to buy her the scarf. In the note accompanying the scarf, I lied and said I was going back to the store anyway and thought I would buy her the scarf.

I sent her the scarf and left on my travels. I remember receiving her email thanking me for the scarf and reading it a few times, thinking that she was articulate and very talented at expressing her emotions and thoughts.

I was in DC with friends for a week for New Years and thought often about Robin while there, even though I never mentioned anything to anyone about her, since I didn’t want to create this illusion in my head that wasn’t grounded in reality. To be honest, I still didn’t know much about this girl and didn’t even know if she was interested in me, but I was excited to get back to OC and find out. Side note, DC was a blast, but so, so cold, which was another reason to be excited to be back in CA.

After getting back to CA in early January, I made good on my word of “hoping to get to know (Robin) better in the New Year” by asking her out for a date on January 10, which happened to be my dad’s birthday. My brother and his family were in town that day and asked if we had any plans for the weekend, to which Derek replied “Yeah, Cody is going on a date”. Which instantly got my family’s attention, seeing as most of my family was very concerned that I was approaching 30 and still single and childless.

My plane is getting ready to land and my computer is out of power, so that is where we will leave it for now.

Whirlwind

2011-04-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Life has been quite busy as of late. We've recently moved from our home in Arkansas - back to California. We had to get employees hired and trained for the yogurt shop, all while packing up our belongings and enjoying family visiting from out of town for our nieces' wedding. I also had my first ever baby shower thrown into that mix. It was a stressful and fun time.

Before I catch you all up on the journey home and life looking for a condo to buy while we live with my parents...plus my belly shots and Easter...I wanted to post some pictures of those crazy last weeks in Arkansas.

Here are some shots of my baby shower. I am so spoiled to have great family and friends with such great talents. Look at the diaper cake and wreath. Look at the food. It was good times!

Here are some pictures of my niece's Jordan's wedding. The wedding was beautiful...and Jordan (my niece who doesn't wear make-up and dresses and isn't all frilly and girly in that way) looked STUNNING as a bride. The family was in town for the wedding, and Jana and Jackie (my sisters-in-law) worked themselves to the bone baking and cooking the food. And it was super yummy! In the end, I think 1,600 cookies were made. Kara, my other sister-in-law and mother of the bride, did a great job renting decor and made the church look elegant and wedding worthy.

Here are the photographers, Chelsea and Tiffany.

Chelsea (my niece) has a talent for editing pictures. Just look at some of the ones she took of Jordan, Neil, and the wedding party. By the way, Tiffany and I did the wedding flowers, including the brides bouquet and the boutonnieres. For people who have never done anything like that before, we were quite impressed with ourselves!

Hot Topic: Gender

2011-03-28T09:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks to modern technology, I have the choice of finding out the sex of my baby before it's born or when it's born. And when asked, people are so opinionated on what route is best. And when I say people are so opinionated, I really mean that people are so, so, so, SO opinionated.

Some people really hold true to the age old tradition of waiting until the baby is born to know the gender. And I'm all for that decision. First and foremost, because it is theirs to make. And because it is fun to announce after delivery (I assume from what the movies have illustrated)..."It's a girl (or It's a boy)."

But it's true that you announce the gender whether it's before the birth or after...and people are still excited to know either way.

Some people argue that not finding out the gender is really "the only surprise left in life." And yet, in the last book I read, this is what the author has to say about that arguement,

"...although I have no real opinion on what seems to be a highly charged, value-laden decision, how do so many couples figure that not availing oneself of ultrasound technology qualifies as a surprise? Furthermore, what other surprises have gone by the wayside over the last few decades? People don't throw surprise parties anymore? No more unexpected flower deliveries or gifts? I don't get it."

Plus, my friend Ali likes to joke, "What do people think it's going to be? A monkey? Now that would be a surprise. But a boy or a girl hardly is surprising. It really only goes one of two ways."

So, as you can see, the best argument for not finding out the gender of your child until birth is that you, as the parents, want it to happen that way. And you don't need an explanation for your decision, because its nobody elses but your own to make. And whatever reason helped you decide to choose this route, doesn't need to be sound. It can make no sense to anyone but you, and that's ok.

Cody and I have decided to find out the gender of our child prior to birth, but we had our doctor seal the gender ultrasound picture in an envelope at our appointment on 2/1/11. It's really cute because the doctor wrote on the outside, "What am I?". And we still haven't opened the envelope.

But people are going NUTS!!! It drives my sister crazy that I have the knowledge always available to me in my apartment, and I still haven't opened the envelope. People at church, some of whom I'm sure don't really feel invested in our baby, are dying to know. My aunt want to know so she can start buying me stuff. Customers at our store have even gotten wide eyed when they hear about our "will-power."

But it's not "will-power" or "stubbornness" or even a need to be "unique" that has us waiting. And when people ask why I'm not opening the envelope, I give a variety of answers:

"Are you kidding me? I'm a shopper. We'd be broke by the time the baby arrived if I already knew the gender. We're saving money by not finding out just yet."

That's a response some people like. But it's not really true.

"The pregnancy has seemed like eternities already. If we had found out the gender over a month ago, I'd have the names and nursery and everything in place already, and then the second half of this pregnancy would seem even longer than the first."

This response is semi-true.

"We didn't want to find out our baby's gender in a doctor's office room with goop all over my belly. Finding out the gender at a nice dinner, or in the comfort of our home after a wonderful day, seems so much more intimate and special."

This response seems sound, but isn't. Why? Because I'm going to give birth in a hospital, not in the intimate setting of my home or while doing something nice like a special dinner out on the town. And meeting your first born for the first time is much more special than just finding out their gender. So if I'm going the sterile, doctor birth plan, why not go for the sterile, doctor gender discovery scenario? See? This response doesn't hold much water.

And many other responses have been given that just don't seem to capture why we're not opening the envelope. "We're just not ready yet" is the most honest response. But people really don't like that one.

I've had people suggest that we should just let them have the envelope and then, when we want to know the information contained therein, they would be happy to share the news. This suggestion is most entertaining and has been offered by numerous people believe it or not...but clearly, that isn't going to happen.

And the excitment and curiousity surrounding the unknown is very fun for us, but it hasn't made us ready still. Boy or Girl? We don't know. But we are excited to find out when we feel good and right about the timing and ready. Truth is, I'll be excited for either outcome, because babies are all precious and cuddly and yummy, whether they have male parts or female parts. I used to think that girl babies were the best way...because the clothing is darling and girls are so precious. But then I had nephews. And I threw my prefrences for my future family out the window. Because having a baby boy as precious as them will melt my heart.

Until that envelope is opened, and without a doubt, it will be opened before this baby makes his/her debut, we're enjoying the unknown and the "what-ifs." The time will come when I'll get a nesting itch, and feel as though I need to know the contents of that envelope. I'll want to be semi prepared for what is to come in late June. But until I get that itch, Cody and I continue to appreciate and bond with this active, growing baby - boy or girl.

Where we started...The End of the Beginning

2011-03-09T13:34:00.000-08:00

To every good thing there must be an end, and we have come to the end of "Where we started."

Please do enjoy the conclusion. It is lengthy, to keep with the pattern I've started.

Cody and I had a great time in the next week following our first kiss. It consisted of going to FHE, kissing, going on a walk, then kissing some more, but come the weekend, I was going to Palm Springs for a girl's weekend and was feeling funny about Cody and the timing of everything…especially the kissing. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start with FHE.

I was late arriving to FHE (and yes there is a pattern of tardiness to FHE in these installments...) and when I entered, I quietly sat on the floor of the First Counselor's living room, a couple of people behind Cody. I located Cody when I first entered, and took every effort NOT to look at him during the lesson. I used my peripheral vision and noticed him notice me (internal smiles), but made sure not to make eye contact. I don't know why eye contact would have been so bad, I mean, I'd already kissed him and everything, but at any rate, I avoided it until after the lesson had finished.

The lesson did finish and Cody and I made eye contact. We started to make our way toward each other, but before we could connect, I got bombarded by some ward members for a conversation. Cody, seeing me busy, went to get some dessert in the kitchen and have conversations of his own. It took a while for us to connect, and when we did, we were your typical, trying-hard-not-to-be-awkward, we've-kissed-and-don't-know-what-to-do-now boy and girl. After some discussion about our day and other casual topics, seeing how late it was and not wanting to invite myself over to Cody's, I said that I was planning on leaving. Cody decided it was time to go too and rounded up his boy posse (because they had come together). Once we got outside, I was saying my good-byes when Cody asked if I wanted to go to dinner with them at Taco Rosa.

My memory is foggy, but I know I turned him down for dinner because I was tired, not hungry, and confused about whether I'd have to pay for my unnecessary meal considering it was a group type dinner (total cheap butt, right?). I also wanted to spend more time with Cody that night so I was torn in my decision. But, I called it a night and Cody said he'd call me after his dinner out.

Cody called and made plans to come over the following night, and when Cody arrived at my house, we decided to go on a walk. I remember being glad Cody was hanging on my turf...because I was feeling like he needed to spend more time at my place. I also remember getting a tad concerned that Cody hadn't made plans to go out with me again, because we had only gone on two official dates and now that we'd kissed, I feared we were headed toward a relationship of hanging-out then making-out. And I wasn't ok with that. I felt that we shouldn't be quite to that point yet. I still needed to be wined and dined. And on this night, we had no plans.

So after Cody arrived, I suggested a walk, but Cody didn't really feel like going on a walk, but with no other activity besides TV being readily available, it was the only "activity" I could think of...besides kissing of course. And I knew we'd be doing that later, so I insisted.

The walk was beautiful. The homes around my apartment were all lit up and we played the game of, "which house on this side would you buy." We talked about everything under the stars, and enjoyed the nice, night weather. Cody enjoyed the walk, once we were on it. And the walk ended up being at least an hour or two. I felt like I had been socially, mentally, physically, and emotionally stimulated by the walk. And a mature woman (I'm referencing myself in case you didn't know) needs to have a mature, stimulating relationship, not just giggles and TV watching and kissing.

Once we had arrived back at my apartment, Cody snooped around, while I enjoyed showing him the details he had missed with the brief date pick-ups from nights past. He helped himself to my generous candy stash, and we chatted some more. And after getting settled on the couch, Cody kissed me. And quickly thereafter, he admitted to pining for my "irresistible lips last night at FHE." And it was the perfect cue for more kissing. Because with a compliment such as that, I had to let him enjoy those lips he had pined over ;)

The rest of the evening turned into a quest for more compliments, because I'm a greedy and needy lady and after receiving the compliment on my lips, I wanted more. For those of you privy to my dating history, you know very well my obsession and need for verbal accolades. I love, love, love compliments. And I argue that it is a relationship need of mine. Months into our relationship, I complained to Cody that he didn't verbally show me how much he cared for me, which was a real concern of mine. For a man who was always taught, "actions speak louder than words," he thought that showing me he cared for me was better than telling me. But actions are not better than words in my book, they are just a different mode by which to express affection. And although I love thoughtful gestures and kind acts, and demand them from those I'm dating, I never devalue words in relation to them. Simply put, words and actions together speak at the perfect volume, not one louder than the other, and both should be present in a healthy relationship.

So, being greedy and needy, I asked Cody what facial and body feature of mine he found most attractive - excluding my lips of course (don't barf...we've all asked some variation of this question or wanted to at one point or another). After thinking for a minute, Cody responded. I would have guessed every feature before what Cody said - my ears. That's what Cody chose. Now before we continue, I want you to wait a minute. Process his response. Take it in as though you received that response yourself - ears.

Crazy, right?!

I remember responding, "Woo, woo, what?! I so didn't see that one coming. Ears are the oddest body part to find attractive." And I felt like it was a safe response, like one you could give an extremely homely, unfortunate, AND obese friend. Because even if you do find ears attractive in general(?!?), they certainly shouldn't make the top of any list, especially before the "B's" (you know: Butt, Belly, Boobs, Baby Blues (eyes) Back of the neck, Brown hair, etc.)! I continued my response, "Who finds ears attractive, anyway? I don't accept that answer. Give me a real answer. So, what after my ears and lips?"

And so on and so on it went. Poor Cody, I know. I pity the fools who have had to compliment me over and over and over, only to have to do it again and again. I'm sure it's exhausting. But although I offer them pity, I make no apologies. It's just the price a guy has to pay for dating me. And if that's too much, I gladly show them the door. Well, maybe not gladly, but I do show them the door (or they voluntarily exit through the door without my encouragement, but we'll pretend that that has never happened). And in my defense, my quest for compliments isn't always so elementary or physical in nature, as it was in my question this night. Let's just put that factoid down on the record.

After compliments, Tuesday night came to a nice close and I didn't see Cody again until Thursday night. We made a point to get together and see each other before I left for the weekend to Palm Springs. I went over to Cody's and we just watched some Thursday NBC TV (The Office, 30 Rock, etc.), kissed, and said good-bye for a long weekend, with no plans for the upcoming week.

My weekend away with the girls was awesome. Our hotel in Palm Springs was retro chic, and we had a double story suite. I had an amazing time doing girl stuff with my homies, who of course asked about Cody and me. I was frank, but probably embellished my stories of the dates, first kisses, and texts for entertainment value. Every girl liked the idea of Cody dating me and vice versa. But most of the weekend wasn't spent talking about, or even thinking about, Cody. We had games, pool side magazines, gossiping, and shopping to keep us busy. I also remember having a 3 hour conversation with M.E. Clayton about everything psychology and sociology. It was fabulous.

While in Palm Springs, Cody did call me twice, and text me once, but I didn't get the messages until the last night and I figured I'd call him when I got back into town. Most of you know I'm not a slave to my phone, and I usually do take time to return a call, but it was odd that I wasn't more eager to check my phone hoping or wishing Cody would communicate. And by the time we were headed back to the OC, I was in an introspective funk, growing worried about how much I really like this kid that kissed me much earlier than normal and comparing Cody to past boyfriends/relationships.

The timing of the kissing was uncomfortable and new to me, since I'm normally in a relationship with a guy before we kiss and know what that relationship entails. My apprehension about what a relationship with Cody would look like was getting the best of me, especially since I only had a week of casual hang-outs on which to base my assumptions.

So I tried to hold onto what I knew, namely that the kissing was great, that our relationship started with formal dates (albeit double), and we really could talk about anything and everything. But while my mind was trying to see the positives, it would counter that our first week "together," which consisted of zero planned dates with zero planned for the upcoming week, consisted of middle school type "hang-outs:" going over to your boyfriend's, watching TV, chillin' with his friends, and kissing. That's exactly what we did last Thursday, and it seemed so juvenile. And I wondered, were Cody and I ever going to go on a date just the two of us? A date where Cody asked me. A date that wasn't an FHE activity after thought with two roommates in tow?

And looking back, the problem wasn't the roommates. I loved those boys. Jeff even had a nickname for me (Jessica), and Derek is pretty impossible not to adore, but again, because they were often around, it made whatever Cody and I have look too "friends with benefits"-ish. My mind was going CRAZY with what Cody and I were and would be. And the only thing to stop my mind from making conclusions based on ONE WEEK of kissing and what-ifs, was calling Cody back.

So upon arriving back home, I called Cody. He answered the phone, but was really distracted. I could hear voices in the background, even female voices I suspected, and I instantly felt super foolish for calling. He was about to go out to dinner with the voices in the background he said, but before he did, he wanted to talk and ask me about my weekend. I started to talk about Palm Springs, but realized he wasn't really paying attention to me. I eventually just said that I'd let him go because he seemed preoccupied with company. He agreed and said he'd call later. The whole call was a complete disaster. And all I wanted to do was run away...from Cody.

I ended up going to the movies that night, and after the movie was over I had received a voicemail and text from Cody. He apologized for answering my call. He said he was so eager to talk to me that when he saw it was me calling, he answered, excited to hear my voice. But, he admitted that he shouldn't have because everyone was trying to figure out where to go for dinner and wanted his input. The message was sincere, and the explanation sound, but I felt so bothered by the earlier call that I refused to call him back. I wanted him to worry about my feelings being upset. Sounds cruel for me to want him to sweat over a stupid phone call, but it was after midnight and I really didn't want to have another awkward call before bed. I also think I was trying to regain some level of confidence and boundaries with Cody. Plus, I knew I'd see him at church soon enough, and I wanted some time to chill until then.

Sunday came and Cody sat next to me in sacrament meeting. And once I saw Cody again, all my introspective problems about us were out the window. Truth be told, I knew Cody was a gentleman and would never see me as a friend with benefits. He sent me the scarf, remember? And he took me to a Jay Leno Show tapping. And he called last night to explain that he answered his phone, even though he shouldn't have, all because he was eager and anxious to talk to me. Church calmed me down and seeing Cody again calmed me down.

Later that night, I went to dinner at Cody's per his invitation. It was a surprisingly good dinner and I was so impressed by the cooking skills of Cody and his roomies. I later explained to Cody 1/8th of the concerns I had had on the ride home from Palm Springs, namely the timing of the kissing and my apprehension for us, but I quickly went on to other topics and excused any concerns I had had to crazy woman/former MFT student mumbo jumbo. Because all was better now. And although I don't think every concern I had was just mumbo jumbo, I certainly didn't need Cody knowing about the scary Introspective World of Robin yet.

And from this night forth our dating relationship was perfect. Cody is a master wooer and when he said he thought actions speak louder than words, he meant it. Because he was always doing wonderful things for me. He definitely knows how to wine and dine a lady, or a girl like me.

And to demonstrate how off base I was for worrying about Cody and what dating him would look like, two weeks after Palm Springs was Valentine's Day. Cody surprised me at work by having 18 long stem roses delivered. An amazing note on the flowers read, "this past month of dating you has been the best month of my life," along with other nice words. And when I called him to thank him for the flowers, he told me of his plans to take me to LA on Valentine's day to see Phantom of the Opera at the Pantageous Theater and then to an Indian restaurant which got great reviews. And to think that just a short time earlier I was worried about Cody becoming casual and not planning dates.

January 24th was our first kiss and October 24th we married. We had our first date on Cody's Dad's birthday and got married on his Mom's birthday. 2009 was a GREAT, great year and a dream in the life of Cody and Robin Orvin. And 2010 produced continued bliss. 2011 will bring baby Orvin #1, a cute little mouse, and the future is nothing but cherries on top!

Bad Things get Worse...

2011-03-04T11:43:00.000-08:00

example: good legs

As a single woman, I always knew that any man who married me wouldn't be a "legs" man. And it was a question I asked Cody when we were dating...just in case he was such a man and hadn't notice how bad my legs really were. He responded that he was an entire package type of guy, and although I knew great legs ran in Cody's family (his mom even has better legs than I do and she's had 7 pregnancies), he was perfectly content marrying a woman who had less attractive legs. And in my case, less attractive includes (but is not limited to): white, veiny, large, cankle ankles, with little-to-no knee definition.

Now, in all honesty, my legs haven't bothered me that much. I know that most people when speaking poorly about a body part are either looking for response comments which totally discredit their deprecating complaints (thereby momentarily increasing their esteem) or they are saying such a comment because they simply can't contain their all consuming hatred for that body part. But not me. I simply acknowledge that my legs are less attractive than most out there, but I certainly don't HATE them. And why should I wallow or have bad self-esteem about the attractiveness of my legs anyway? After all, my legs work, which is reason enough not to HATE them...and I do have an impressive shin muscle (ask any time and I'll show you the big leg guns). Plus, ugly legs have kept this girl modest. Wearing mini anythings, skirts, shorts, or otherwise wouldn't have been pretty, and certainly wouldn't have produced any desirable outcome.

So, I've embraced my unattractive legs as a fact and a very minor component in my overall presentation. My legs are not a reflection of my attractiveness, and there is a long list of personality traits and weaknesses that occupy my "worry time" before my silly 'ol legs.

Well, enter pregnancy #1 - the mouse. I don't know if it was hormones gone crazy or what, but I absolutely broke down yesterday when I realized that my legs had indeed gotten uglier. Spider veins are making a strong debut and it looks like varicose veins are emerging. And although I expected such things to occur, I certainly didn't expect to be so upset about it. I even held back tears while at work yesterday and later in the night, as I was researching surgical hose and looking at the suckers.

Now it's not like I'm going from great legs to bad. I'm just going from bad to worse. And although I'm an emotional person, pregnancy hasn't seemed to make me any more emotional than my previously emotional self. So if my legs were ok being bad before the pregnancy, why aren't they ok now?

And after reflecting, I can only say "Who knows!" Because even as I write this stupid post, I'm inclined to feel sorry for my legs. It hits me - like a wave. Because my legs have already had a rough road, and they've been good little - well big - legs, and their future looks grim with many more months to this pregnancy and more pregnancies planned for the future.

Onto other exciting news, I had my first yeast infection ever thanks to typical second trimester hormones (at least that's what I've been told). It wasn't so bad really, and since it was my first ever, I have no room to complain. My symptoms were very mild and there were hours upon hours that I'd forget I even had an infection, so I've been quite lucky.

To top of my record, I've really only ever had one bladder infection. And with that infection, my one and only symptom was that I had to pee more, and I woke up in the middle of night to pee. There was no discomfort, just inconvenience.

I guess we can't have it all, and if I've only had one bladder and yeast infection in my life with extremely mild symptoms, then I certainly am due to have some other problems...namely of the ugly leg variety.

And before I sign off, can I just request a moment of silence for my formally semi-unattractive legs and another moment of acceptance for my new, full blown nasty legs.

And now I'm going to try to put this leg silliness to rest. Because at the end of the day, Cody always reminds me of how lucky we are to be with child...and how at the end of the day, we'll have a cute little bundle of joy - worth any sacrifice. And he's right about that. And he's a love who deserves some big pats on the back, because when I was telling him about my leg situation, he was upset with me for making disparaging remarks about the mother of his future child. He's very protective of me, even when I'm the insulter.

Where we started...Part III

2011-02-26T11:26:00.000-08:00

Here is the installment leading up to our first kiss. This is the second to last installment...although I'm tempted to keep going because Cody was so amazing during our entire dating period. He was the most thoughtful and sweet boyfriend and I'd love to share every email and detail of every date, but Cody said that would be too much. He's hinted at the fact that I've already overdone this project. And he argues that some dating details and emails should be considered private. He wants some memories to just be ours. What a selfish downer, right? His restrictions are so confining. But he's probably right and I know it. And it pisses me off when he's right.

So get on your slippers and get out your reading glasses and get ready for some k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

It was over a week until our Jay Leno taping date. We had church and FHE, texts and subtle flirting, but no real time together. Friday eventually came and I was so excited for the date. I remember thinking about how fun Jay Leno was going to be. The whole day at work I was only thinking about the date. Well, not really the whole day. I worked only a half a day because Cody was coming to pick me up so we could be in LA in time for the taping.

After leaving work, I rushed around trying to get ready, eat some lunch, and get the house all clean before Cody came. I felt like I was ahead of schedule and that I might even have some down time for the make-up and perfume to settle, and the body to relax before Cody came, but Cody called when he was about 5 minutes out warning me that he was going to be arriving ahead of schedule. With a good amount of sass, I scolded him for arriving early, because no man should be early picking up a woman for a date. It's just a rule of dating. A man can't be late either, so it's a tight rope to walk. I guess I'll counsel my sons to arrive early and wait in the car (down the street) until the given time arrives and then drive the 100 yards to the girl's house and walk to her door to pick her up. But Cody was coming early because he didn't want to hit too much traffic, was getting nervous about it being Friday and all, and he knew I was home. At least he called, because I was able to kick it into high gear and pretend like 5 minutes is all I need to get ready.

Derek’s date ended up canceling on him, so he took Jeff. So it was the three male roommates and me for the entire afternoon and night. It ended up being great with the guys and I didn't feel out of place thanks to Cody. After arriving at the Jay Leno Show taping with a little time to spare, Cody relaxed and I felt him being a tad touchy and flirtatious. Cody and I had a great time laughing and whispering during the show, which had Marissa Tomei as the main guest. She was there to discuss her nomination for an Oscar for The Westler. She looked phenominal. A comedian was also on the show, and he was seriously hi-lar-ious. I still remember some of his jokes. The last guest was an animal guy, and he had some wierd animals that I couldn't even begin to remember, even if I tried. So the show had a good variety, and certainly didn't disappoint.

After the taping, we drove to Santa Monica and went to this posh restaurant in LA called Rock Sugar…which was De-lic-ious!!!! Conversation was smooth and I was loving my date with Cody...and Derek and Jeff. The only thing that was a little difficult was that we all shared food at dinner and I had the problem of wanting more food, much more food, but feeling like I should eat very little because I was the woman. I normally pig out on dates, but I think it was the sharing aspect that had me in a funk.

Aside from completely enjoying the food but feeling like I wasn't supposed to indulge, it was a perfect Friday. On the drive home, we all described everyone in the car with one word. I remember calling Derek "child-like." Derek's instinct was to be insulted, but I explained that he thinks the best of people, even when they take advantage of him, etc. I have no memory of describing Jeff, but I remember very well calling Cody “confusing.” He wanted to know why, but I stayed vague. Truth is, he was confusing because of the silly question on date #1 and the two weeks between date #1 and #2, and the need for “double dates.” Cody described me as “whole.” I had no clue what this meant. He kept saying, just look up synonyms for whole and you will get a good idea of what I mean. Later that night at Cody’s, we did look up “whole” and one word that jumped out at me was the synonym “perfect.” I asked him if he wanted to change his word after reading what the thesaurus had to say and he simply said, “no.” I LOVED his one word description, obviously.

Also, on the car ride back from LA, everyone in the car described their types. The conversation really began because I was trying to see what kind of girl Derek was looking for, since he wasn’t really pursuing any girl in the ward. But, I was more alert and interested when Cody was describing his type. And it turns out, Cody’s ideal girl didn’t sound anything like me: patient, low-maintenance, spontaneous, (tan) and other attributes. I told Cody how high-maintenance, non-spontaneous, and impatient I am, but I didn’t feel like he was seeing the dilemma. I figured Cody should date someone like Wendy in the ward, a girl who would live in South America with him at the drop of a hat. But as we transitioned from the car to the guy's apartment, and especially after looking up “whole” in the thesaurus, I forgot about the ideal Cody wanted, which I wasn’t.

As a side note, I remember telling Cody on the ride back that I could totally picture him on a couch, relaxed, watching TV, all while drinking beer from a glass bottle (definately not a canned beer for some reason). I laugh when I think of that random comment, because there was no need to tell Cody this, and BECAUSE CODY IS SO NOT LIKE THAT, never was, never will be. And if he ever did drink beer, it would be a cheap, canned beer, not a fancy glass bottled one.

That night, after the date, I was supposed to head up to Joshua Tree National Forest to go camping with the ward, who had left earlier that afternoon for the campsite. But I lingered at Cody’s and he convinced me to stay in town because I was getting such a late start on the drive, because it was a 2 hour drive each way for such a quick turn around the next afternoon, and of course, because I was tired. I liked the protective hints and the “stay here longer” suggestion. After watching some tv with the roommates and snooping around Cody’s room, Cody drove me home.

The next evening, I went to dinner and saw a movie with a bunch of friends. It was nice telling all the girls about my date. During the movie, I received a text from Cody, inviting me to come over to his place to watch a movie. I waited until after the movie had finished, and then I called Cody to discuss the invitation. He said his movie had barely started and to make my way over to his place. I was hesitant, because I was already late, I had just seen a movie, there were some people over watching the movie that I didn’t know, and because I had just stayed late the night before. But I did want to go and spend time with my new guy friends, and especially Cody, so with very little persuasion, I headed over to Turtle Crest Apartments once again.

I walked up to the apartment only to enter a dark living room with bodies sprawled out on couches. I was kicking myself for taking Cody up on his offer and about to sit on the floor, but Cody said to come sit next to him, he’d make room. I joined him in “the pit,” a tight cuddle corner. The only way we fit in the space was to squeeze close. Cody had to put his arm around me to have our shoulders work in the space. The cuddling was nice, and I knew at that moment that I was attracted to Cody, that I was liking him. If the texts, the 3 hour phone conversation, the dates, flirting, and willingly going to watch half a movie when I'd already seen a great movie on the big screen hadn't let me know, the cuddling and subsequent butterflies did the trick. I had come to the realization that I liked Cody. Everything put together meant that my sister Brooke might actually be right, I might actually "seriously date" this Cody kid.

Now, my butterflies weren't all sugar and spice. I got nervous for what follows cuddling and affection...you know...kissing. I knew I wouldn't kiss Cody that night, but if we were already cuddling, and I knew I liked him, the kissing wasn't afar off. And have I mentioned that I HATE first kisses? Some people like them, actually most people probably like them, but I don't. And anything reminding me of a potential first kiss can make me somewhat nauseous. I just soak up all the nerves and awkwardness, and the experience is ruined. First kisses are too mental to be enjoyable. At least for me they are.

But like I said, I didn't think I needed to worry about kissing. I fell asleep in Cody's arms after the movie ended and the group started watching SNL. I awoke to only Cody and me in the living room. The other guests had left and did say good-bye to me, but I didn't wake up despite their attempts. Tired, and feeling silly for sleeping, I got up and started putting on my coat, all the while talking to Cody about this or that. Literally, out of the blue, right when I was tying the ribbon on my coat, and before I knew what was happening and could avoid it, Cody was in front of my face kissing me. I was caught so off guard. I didn't have much time to gete nauseous, because there was NO build-up, but I was still mentally thinking, "are we really kissing right now, tonight?" It was unlike any first kiss I’d ever had, which made me feel confused. It was a machine gun type of kiss. A series of fast, gentle kisses, one after the other. I was dying, because I hate the first kiss, but I really hate first kissES.

After the series ended, Cody walked me to my car. And at this point, I knew the line had been crossed. There was no turning back on the kissing. See, I normally date men for weeks, and go on numerous dates before kissing them. I wait till they can’t stand it anymore and until they virtually love me before I let them get any lip service. I figured it always gave me the upper hand. But with Cody, he snuck up on me. I didn’t have a chance to refuse the kissing situation. So, at my car I thought, “well, I might as well show him my skills.” No joke. That’s what I thought. I know, I know. But I wasn’t going to have our first kissing episode start and end with rapid fire pecks, gentle or not. So I threw my purse up on the roof of my car, put my back to the driver’s door, and gave him room to go in for more, but this time I kissed him back. And we slowed down. And we stood there, for an hour, kissing in the dark of night.

That night when I got home, I was too wired to go straight to bed. Plus, I had had a good nap. So I surfed the internet. I checked facebook, and Cody’s status showed up on my new's feed. All he said was, Cody “is rethinking his type.” And I remembered our car ride from LA two nights ago, when I told Cody I wasn't his type.

To be concluded...

Where we started...Part II

2011-02-23T09:40:00.000-08:00

This is like a marathon, not a sprint. This installment of "where we started" is, I fear, much longer than the first. I think maybe I'll break it up so this isn't so dang long. My apologies :)

I enjoyed my holiday in Montana and was totally all about my family, but Cody wasn’t off my mind entirely. For starters, I received his response email to my facebook thank you while I was up there. Plus, my family, after learning of Cody’s gift, was asking a million questions about him, most of which I didn’t have the answers to. But I was able to use the gifted scarf in cold Montana and every time I did, I thought about Cody. Before leaving MT, my family did New Year’s predictions, a Bendheim family tradition. For years, at least 2 family members would predict that I would get married. Surprisingly, on this particular year, I don’t think any person predicted my marriage, but my sister Brooke did predict that I would either seriously date Cody or this other guy I was scheduled to be set up with. I thought “I’m so sure, Brooke.” Because although I was sure Cody and I would go out a couple times, “seriously date Cody” wasn’t something I thought would happen.

I left Montana and headed to Vegas with Ali and some other girlfriends. We met up with some “fresh meat” (aka new boys) from Utah who wanted to celebrate Vegas style with us. I had a blast that weekend, flirting with the boys there and deciphering which of them I liked the most. I had followed Cody’s request and asked Derek if he wanted to join us on the trip, but he politely declined. In hindsight, it was probably good Derek didn’t come, because then it would have been reported to Cody how flirty I had behaved in Vegas. And, with new, fresh, single, and attractive Mormon men in Vegas, Cody was a faint, distant thought.

After returning home from Vegas, I quickly forgot about my new Utah male friends. First and foremost, none asked for my phone number (only facebook friend requests), and secondly, I've done long distance before and know that I'd never do long distance relationships, or in this case crushes, again. Plus, I wasn’t sure I even really liked any of the Utah men, or if I just enjoyed some new male company with no strings attached, shameless flirting. It’s really hard to say. But with 2008 now gone and 2009 going strong, I knew that seeing Cody at church could mean a date invitation. And I was ready to say yes. After all, I had a "say yes to one date" policy, because I knew myself well enough to know that I didn’t always know “my type” or “the guy for me.”

After seeing Cody at church and FHE, I was a little puzzled since he hadn’t requested a date. But, he called me in the week and asked me out for January 10th. I was excited for the date because a date is a date people. And when you’re in your late 20’s and single in the Mormon scene, you count every good and bad date because some foolio will ask you when you visit your parents’ ward, “Have you been on any dates lately?” and a positive response alleviates an awkward moment and certainly any pathetic feelings. Plus, I like first dates…my policy is “it’s a good time or a good story.” And I’ve had plenty of good stories which have stemmed from awful dates.

Turns out the date for January 10th was a double date with Derek and a friend from the ward. I learned of the double aspect on the day of the date when Cody called to make final pick-up arrangements. I thought it was cute that Cody needed a “wing man” or wing couple as it was in this case.

Cody and the rest of the date goers came to pick me up last. Cody drove so we had the front seats, which made it seem like we were the official couple on the date and the others were just sidekicks. I remember liking the car Cody was driving which is so weird because I’m not a car person. Plus, how cliché is it for a girl to care about the car her date is driving. Shoot, I dated fools that don’t even own a car, let alone a good one. So needless to say, it was odd that I was noticing the car and even more odd that I concluded that Cody was driving Derek’s car because I, for some reason, pictured Cody driving a little Honda or Saturn, not something out of the ordinary like this SUV.

Anyway, we drove to Trabuco Canyon and went to a steakhouse, fit with a tree growing through the center of the restaurant and neck ties hanging everywhere. The food was good, but I had a splitting headache. Also, I found myself talking with April, Derek’s date, the most. After all, it was more convenient because she was seated across from me and I knew her the best out of anyone. But don’t get the wrong impression, Cody and I did converse, but all I really remember about the content of our conversations was that he asked me, “don’t you think people are more attractive tan?”

This was a major turn off for me, not to mention confusing. After all, I am a fair-skinned, butt-white woman. And I had embraced my glow-in-the-dark look and realized, that even when I do tan, it’s not impressive and is gone within a week. So his question made me wonder, "why is he asking me out if he wants a tan girl?," but I responded with sass and said I didn’t agree with his “tan is more attractive” stance. The rest of the dinner went smoothly and we later went to Will Smith’s movie, “Seven.” I cried in the movie which only exaggerated my headache, but I felt ok about crying because I warned everyone that I cry in movies. The drive home was easy conversation and Cody walked me to the door while the others waited in the car.

Now, it’s important to note that I never handle the “let me walk you to the door” situation well. I don’t want a first kiss on a first or second date, and I certainly never want to give an eager/aggressive dater the opportunity. So sometimes I come across as rushed to get in the door. I had the routine down to a science. I always pulled out my keys from my purse on the walk leading up to the door and would fiddle with them to give the “no kiss” signal once I had arrived at my door. I always tried to make as little eye contact as possible, while simultaneously saying all the right things, “thanks for the date,” “I had a great time”, etc. I was no different with Cody. I gave him a short hug and said good-bye, with little eye contact and little hesitation before entering my apartment.

My conclusion of the date was overall, neutral. I had a good time and enjoyed going out of Newport Beach for the date, but I also knew that a good amount of my time was spent with my friend April too and Cody did ask a silly question at dinner. I knew I needed more interaction to determine any level of attraction or chemistry.

Church on Sunday was fairly normal and Cody gave a talk. I remember feeling nervous for him and noticing how he breaths in heavily when he is nervous or publicly speaking. The talk was good though and afterward, in Relief Society, the girls kept coming up to me saying things like, “I like him Robin,” and “You should really date him.” It appeared as though the news of our date the night before had already spread, after all, Mormon women, including me, gossip like professionals. I laughed off the remarks…but liked everyone’s approval. Cody and I made short small talk that Sunday during linger-longer. We saw each other again at FHE. Come Wednesday, I was feeling crazy (correction, forward), and really wanted to see Madagascar 2 at the dollar theater. After a women’s institute class at church, I headed over to Cody’s apartment complex and made a call to invite him to see it with me. I was so very awkward in my invitation. It went something like this:

Robin: Hey Cody. It’s Robin.

Cody: Hey, what are you doing?

Robin: Oh, I just finished institute. What are you doing?

Cody: I’m just hanging out at my apartment with some friends who are down from LA. How was institute?

Robin: Oh, it was really good…(talk about lesson at institute)…well, I was going to ask you to go to Madagascar 2 with me tonight at the dollar theater, but it seems you have company.

Cody: Umm, what time does the movie start?

Robin: It starts in 10 minutes.

Cody: Wow. Well, where are you right now?

Robin: I’m actually in your apartment parking lot, but don’t worry, I was over in your neck of the woods anyway for institute, but you have company, and I’ll just see the movie by myself. It’s nothing big, just at the dollar theater. Have fun with your friends.

Cody: You are here? In my parking lot? How’d you get in?

Robin: I followed another car through the gate.

Cody: Oh. Ok then. I’ll go. I’ll be right down.

Robin: Cody, you really don’t have to. You have company. Spend time with your friends. Plus, I’ve seen movies by myself before.

Cody: Robin, I want to. Plus, these are really Jeff’s friends, not mine, and all we’re doing is watching TV. I’ll be right down.

I felt so stupid when I hung up the phone and just knew that my armpits were starting to sweat. I freshened up my look and blasted the a/c for a minute, and before I knew it, Cody was down and we raced to the movie. Some ward members were at the movie too, and I thought, “oh brother, more fuel for rumors.” The movie was funny and we had a great time. I drove him back home and we stayed in the car for an hour in his parking lot just talking about nothing really. I was thinking I could like him. I know I should have known that I liked him at this point, since I had just asked the fool out, but I didn’t. I knew I liked talking to him, seeing movies with him, and that we had the same sense of humor because we laughed in tandem at the movie. But there was a part of me holding myself back, confusing me, and making an admission of interest in dating Cody impossible.

The next day I received a call and invitation from Cody to go to the Jay Leno show with him for the following Friday. He had four tickets and would have Derek take a date too. I thought it was a great idea since I’d never been to Jay Leno on a date before. Most dates are dinners and the like, but Jay Leno is more exotic, more unique, and certainly more brag worthy. Our phone conversation lasted three hours that night and after feeling like I’d talked his ear off, I ended the conversation. I knew three hours meant something about how I felt about this Cody kid, because in all honesty, I’m a horrible phone talker. But what the “something” meant I wasn’t sure, and I wasn’t making any conclusions about my affection based on a stupid phone call, even if it did last 3 hours.

Where we started...

2011-02-20T08:38:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a friend's blog lately where she recently documented how she and her husband began dating, in three blog installments. It was very entertaining and informative and I found myself annoyed with her when she took too much time to post the third installment. Just goes to show how demanding I can be as a blog stalker, and how much I love me a good love story.

I like the idea of doing the same, especially since I'm planning on making this blog into a journal/scrapbook. I think the posterity will enjoy the story of how we began. I'm going to try to get Cody to write his version, because, of course, they are very different. But I make no promises on his behalf. And hopefully, some of you will actually read this whole thing, but remember, I'm long-winded and detail oriented. Plus, I make no promises of being as entertaining as was my inspiration for this blog. Let's just try to give this a go, shall we?

Here is my version of the beginning.

I was horribly lost trying to find FHE. I forgot the number of my FHE dad, Derek’s apartment and finally needed to call someone who was already at the apartment for the number. I felt stupid going, but felt obligated to support my assigned FHE family, felt I had to put myself “out there” for some dating blessings, not to mention that I was Relief Society President and would have felt guilt had I purposely ditched a ward activity with no good excuse. So, when I finally found the apartment, I was partly relieved and partly hoping I would have never been able to find the apartment. It would have subsided my guilt, alleviated my stupid feeling, still given me points for “dating blessings” because after all, I had tried, and I would have had another opportunity in the future to support my FHE family. But given that I had found the apartment, I turned the knob without knocking (because I was late) and made a grand entrance because I walked in on the middle of the spiritual thought. The evening felt very normal and familiar thereafter. Just a typical FHE. After the thought and some dessert, Derek introduced me to his roommates and when I was introduced to Cody, I figured he must like me. He made eye contact with me and held his gaze longer than most men would on first meeting a new female. I thought he looked extremely tan, short, and semi-built in his good fitting, well-worn jeans and green T. I had an impression, but it was fleeting and as more time elapsed, I didn’t think anything of Cody or his possible attraction toward me. The evening continued as normal and I left FHE when I got tired.

I often saw Cody after that FHE. First off, I noticed him more because I had met him, but I also noticed him more because I thought he liked me. I would see him at church, some casual game nights, church activities, and of course, FHE. On one particular occasion, I was invited to a game night party I knew he would be attending. It was an inconvenient invitation, considering I had plans to attend the temple, then dine and see a movie with my friend. But, knowing that I wanted Cody to like me (and that I looked ridiculously cute in my temple attending outfit), I forced myself to “make an appearance” at the game night…to fuel Cody’s affection as well as any other cute boy who might attend the party. It was 20 minutes to the party from the temple, 10 minutes at the party, and 20 minutes to meet my friend at dinner. The whole party cameo cost a lot in time, convenience, and gas, but I really wanted to see Cody. Which, at this point, was interesting since I wasn’t convinced I was attracted to him. All I knew was I wanted him to be attracted to me and that if nothing else, I was keeping my options open and my ego stroked.

Then, at a Christmas inspired FHE, we went caroling at a senior citizen home. Oh, how I hate to go caroling. I always think the group of carolers I happen to sing with sound horrible (including myself). I also assume that the people who have to suffer through our songs don’t entirely enjoy the music. I just know that if someone was to knock on my door and break out in song, I would feel awkward for them and myself. This FHE was no different, and after a few songs sung by the group to one or two residence, I excused myself from the group mid-song. I just couldn’t stand the discomfort any longer. I found my brother Redge in the lobby. Apparently, our uncomfortable reaction to caroling is genetic and we both had some good laughs at how bad the group sounded in the other room and at how little the residence seemed to enjoy the music. But the evening wasn’t a total waste. After returning to the church for some cookies, Derek, Cody, and their other roommate Jeff invited me and two other girls to a late dinner at Chili’s. It was the first time I really conversed with Cody in a small setting. We all introduced our friends to each another, Larissa introducing me and Derek introducing Cody and so forth. I would fill in the blanks or correct Larissa’s errors as did Larissa for mine. I distinctly remember Cody trying to correct Derek when he described Cody as the most even tempered person he has ever met: never raising his voice, never feeling anger. I also remember Derek describing Cody as hard working and a brilliant business entrepreneur. And these descriptions interested me.

After dinner that evening, I received a friend request from Derek on facebook, who stated that he had enjoyed reading my wall and looking at my pictures with Cody. Derek said that they both concluded that I was hilarious.

On another occasion, I stayed too late at FHE. Three girls: Larissa, Angie, and I stayed after FHE had concluded and just talked with the boys: Derek, Jeff, and of course, Cody. After finally deciding it was entirely too late to be at someone’s home on a Monday night, I decided it was time for me to leave and retire to my bed. On my way home, I texted Cody to apologize for overstaying my welcome. He responded, quickly, something to the effect of, “I wish you would have stayed longer… I usually don’t go to bed until 2 am.” I found the text adorable.

On the last FHE before Christmas, we met at Old Navy as a group to buy presents for an adopted family. I arrived late, as usual, after doing some Christmas shopping of my own. After walking around Old Navy with a green and gray scarf on, I discarded it at the register, with hesitation, knowing that my money was disappearing and the last thing I needed was another thing for me. I complained to the group that I always go Christmas shopping with the intention of buying presents for family, and only end up finding (and buying) items for myself. After my diatribe, the group checked out and walked to the parking lot to get in our cars and head over to a ward member’s house for goodies. In the parking lot, Derek told Cody to ride with me back to the house, in my car. Derek at this point was always telling me or Cody to “go sit next to” the other and other like schemes, so him suggesting Cody go with me without good explanation wasn’t odd or at all surprising. I always found Derek’s propositions very “Junior High-ish,” and sometimes purposely didn’t follow his suggestions because they were awkward or because I, at the time, did’t like being told where to sit or who to talk to, but I figured Derek was helping Cody get close to me so I didn't protest the taxi service scheme. Cody too obliged Derek’s suggestion and we had a pleasant, short ride to the ward member’s house. The conversation mostly surrounded my shopping ventures of the day. Upon arriving at the house, I showed him my finds and received his opinions which extended the ride by a minute or two. The rest of the evening was mingled with other FHE goers and I hardly saw Cody after that.

Christmas was approaching quickly. I went to some last minute Christmas parties before heading up to Montana for the holiday. I went to my friend Charity’s house for one of these parties. I remember dying my quickly fading brown to gray hair and straightening it, thinking that my look had drastically improved and that Cody hadn’t seen my hair straight before. But after talking to Derek at the party, I learned that Cody had already headed up to Utah for his Christmas break and then off to D.C. for a vacation with some friends. I thought, “oh well, too bad.” And looked for another boy to flirt with.

Then, the next day, I went to my parents for laundry and checked their mail. I noticed a package which said Cody’s name on it. I initially thought “why is someone mailing Cody a package and using my address.” Then after a crazy trail of thought, I opened the package to see the very same scarf I had wanted at Old Navy days earlier. Cody had thought to send it to me…had stated in his card that he was at Old Navy again doing another Sub for Santa family, was sure my holiday wouldn’t be complete without the scarf, and thought to buy it for me. He also stated in his card that he hoped to get to know me better in the new year.

I sent him a facebook, thank you email,

“Wow! I am super impressed by you. I went to get the mail late this afternoon and found your package. Like a true airhead I looked at the package and thought, 'why did someone mail cody something at my address.' Ha! In another second I realized that you were the sender and thought, 'oh great, did I leave something at fhe on monday?' You can tell I don't often find myself the recipient of unexpected gifts. Well, I was sick of the guessing game so I opened the package to find my scarf. I have been wearing it all night. I'll catch my reflection every now and then and smile as I think of your thoughtfulness and surprise package.

A very unexpected delight indeed. Thanks for making another Thursday be a very special one. I adore your gift and appreciate the type of person you must be to have thought to mail it to me (braving the post office during the holiday season takes some real balls - and remembering what a girl likes and making her happy by gifting it to her takes a big heart :).

Have a very merry christmas cody and enjoy your travels. Kiss the east coast for me. I miss it.

Robin

p.s. my friend proposed to you tonight behind your back. she, like most of us girls, is a sucker for a good 'ol fashion gentleman. she is quite the male critic so I believe a congratulations is in order. Your mama raised you right!”

I tried to be articulate and complimentary in my email, after all, it was an extremely nice gesture. I was flirty, but simple for me. He responded days later,

“Im glad that you liked the scarf, actually, i knew you would because you were fawning over it at fhe. I find it sad that you are not often the recipient of gifts, hope that changes for you this Christmas and beyond.

I will give your warmest regards to the East Coast, but if the weather there is anything like it is here in Utah right now, I'm not sure I will be in the best mood to be delivering warm regards. I'm dreaming of an Orange County Christmas this year.

Hope you have a great Christmas and New Year.

Cody

If you do anything fun with fellow members of the ward, send an invite to Derek because he is all alone there until January 3rd.”

And it was confirmed, Cody liked me. Because no man writes in a card, “I hope to get to know you better in the New Year,” and buys a scarf for a girl, without implying he likes said girl.

Now I just needed to confirm that I liked him…but before the New Year, I had a vacation to Montana with the family planned and a co-ed New Year’s Eve celebration in Las Vegas. And you never can be sure about anything when going to Vegas in a group of Mormon singles. I could have a boyfriend before the Vegas weekend even ended and before Cody returned to CA and had a chance to “get to know me better” (aka ask me out).

Mouse Update

2011-02-16T12:03:00.000-08:00

So, I'm 21 weeks as of yesterday. I'm feeling much, much better and enjoying food more...although I did have some of my dinner last night resurface after looking at some old cut up bananas and not getting ahold of the ensuing gagging episode. Good news is I didn't pee my pants in the process. Also, I ate too much dinner and felt gross until 20 minutes after I vomited. I know that sounds a bit bulimic-ish, but oh well.

My belly is growing like a weed, which hopefully means the mouse is growing too. I'll catch glimpses of my body in the mirror and just shake my head in disbelief. It is really wierd to see my body change, which is odd because I knew very well my stomach would grow and have witnessed other's expanding bellies my whole life. But it is still so wierd to me.

I feel kicks all day long, but Cody hasn't felt any yet. Either my layer of fat around the uterus is interfering, or Cody's impatience is not giving the mouse enough time to give him a good kick.

Sleeping is still good, but not as good as it was before the mouse. I'm a tummy sleeper at heart and have always slept on and loved hard mattresses. Funny thing is when I was home last at my parents, sleeping on the bed I slept on for 20 years, my back hurt from the hard mattress and getting comfortable was difficult. Who knew I'd miss my blow-up bed here in AR?

The only other news is I've had to reduce the amount of time I take showers as well as the water temperature. I was having near fainting spells and was having low blood pressure. It was trippy. All of a sudden, mid washing, I'd feel faint, get nauseous, think I was about to have diarrhea, and the only thing that helped me feel better was opening the shower curtain while laying at the bottom of the tub. I'm happy to report no more spells, but my legs are a bit pricklier because shaving with goose-bump is pointless.

I'll post pictures of my belly soon. Until then, remember that our baby's first ultrasound showed an adorable mouse...and until I hold a baby in my arms, or know the gender, this growing belly has an adorable, and adnormally large, mouse inside.

Happy Heart

2011-02-14T08:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day! Before I tell you all that I'm the luckiest wife, and that Cody is the best of husbands, let me share a few love quotes.

I just finished "Love the One You're With" by Emily Giffin. It's an entertaining and indulgent read, but the overall message of love is true. The main character runs into an old boyfriend and for a period of a year is torn between old, resurfaced feelings and her commitment and confusion about her current marriage. Just when you think the novel glorifies cheating behavior (as some of Emily's past novels), it surprises you with the most basic of love definitions: love as a choice, love as a commitment. Basic stuff that too many headed for divorce forget.

"...maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."

Luckily for me committed love involves surges of passion (insert your rolling eyes and vomit here), but as the author points out, love is so much more...and if given a choice, ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE again and again.

The second quote for the day is stolen from my friend, Frances' blog. It's true, and spiritually uplifting. And by President Monson no less.

"I consider charity-- or "the pure love of Christ"-- to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper. Tonight, however, I have in mind the kind of charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient towards their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.

I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.

There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere."

Lastly, I'd like to quote Mother Teresa,

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

And let me just say, Valentine's Day has become more than a day where I ponder the romantic tales found in movies...it has become more than pondering the loves in my life...my family, my talents and passions, my idealistic dreams. It has become a day where I recognize love in all it's forms and give gratitude for my blessings, none the least of which is my Cody, my Valentine times three years...three wonderful years.